*Why would anyone grow up and decide they want to be the house that hands out the crappy cheap candy? And yet, there are people who obviously do.
*Same idea for handing out toothbrushes, I don't tell your kid to get a haircut.
*They sell Candy Corn all year at Wal-Mart. I love candy corn...I'd put it in my Top 5 Candy of all time list (which is a pretty exclusive list). That said, I could and never would eat Candy Corn outside of October. Well, maybe the end of September or early November, but no other time!
*Candy is empty calories. Therefore, if you eat 4 pieces of Halloween candy for breakfast, you are bound to lose weight. Check with me next week, I hope to prove this theory. Funny... 4 pieces...
*Why do I insist on semi-making my children's costumes every year? They have perfectly good costumes in stores. The imaginary bear hug and "Thanks, mom you are the greatest, I appreciate your love and attention to detail" just never comes to fruition. After I die, they are going to feel guilty about not telling me how great I was. Especially, after reading the page in my journal, where I describe how great I am and what brats they are.
*Every year, Coach and I dance to the same music. Mid-week, I ask him to buy several bags of candy. Then, Halloween, approximately 45 minutes before the Trick or Treating hour, I call in a panic for him to buy more, because ours has disappeared. Why does he participate and not call me out as the culprit? Because he is scared of Tink and I...that's why.
*How about, we decide as a community to add another evening, early summer-ish, where we go to each other's house and hand out candy. We don't have enough Holidays where we give each other candy and the idea was ingenious. We have Easter...but all that religion gets in the way. (Just Kidding!) But really, people decided to make the Olympics...and that seems to be working out.
*What kid Tricks and does not Treat? 'If they give you a choice...always choose Treat. Eventually, life will play plenty of rotten Tricks on you'. Put that on a Hallmark card.
*Happy Hallows Eve! What could be better than an entire day of keeping bowls of candy in your home, smearing make-up on your small children, forcing them to pretend to be someone else, throwing a scavenger hunt where you encourage people to smash your children's pumpkins...and confusing kids, by telling them to run across the street and beg strangers for candy.
4 comments:
The only thing better than what you described is having a house out of the way enough that no one comes trick or treating at your door, leaving you guilt-free for not being home to hand out candy as you pillage for sweets in a town you don't even live in.
See you on the streets!
(BTW - bag bought costumes are totally the way to go. My mother is so ashamed, but I just have to be me.)
You two are a lot nicer moms than I am -- Dean wanted me to buy him a costume this year but I told him he could suck it up and be a football player like John. They'll be Devin Hester and Bret Favre.
I like where you are going with this summer candy give away. It needs to be early summer before the heat can melt the chocolate. This will be an adult holiday. Kids, see how it feels to not be the center of attention. You hand out the candy and comment on how cute the adults are standing on the doorstep. Let's make this low key. No costumes. Just a lady with a nice bag politely waiting at the door for candy. Not a Hallmark Holiday. Love the way you think outside the box. Your Mother
i like how you put just kidding after the easter comment
Post a Comment