Friday, July 30, 2010

All My Loving

To our Six:
Happy Birthday, Sweet boy. There is no one else in this world, I would rather, my son Trip through this Life Fandango with. You are a sponge: Your mind is inquisitive, your heart is willing and your sense of wonder is wide open.
As you so brilliantly discovered at Age 9, there is a Beatles lyric for each and every turn along Life's Road.
I can think of nothing more, I would wish for you on your day, than for you to find your Garden.

I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus's garden in the shade
I'd ask my friends to come and see
In an octopus's garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus's garden near a cave
We would sing and dance around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you

(This Pic: An Oldie But a Goodie!)

Ooo, if there's anything that you want
If there's anything I can do
Just call on me and I'll send it along
With love, from me to you

We love you, bunches.
Happy Birthday, Six!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Father of the Year. Located.

Coach: Oh, I forgot to tell you. At the Rehearsal Dinner, Tink was in one stall and I was in the next.
All of a sudden, I heard her tiny voice giggle and then say "SeCuse me. I farded." It was hilarious!

Me: She was in a Men's room stall by herself?

Coach: Yeah, I was in the one next to her.

Me: At Richards?

Coach: Yeah.

Me: What are the chances, you washed her Men's Bathroom hands, before she returned to eat dinner?

Coach: Ummm..... (very long pause).....
Would you believe, Decent to Good?

Me: No. That is disgusting.

End Scene.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

A few of my favorite things...

The Bride and The Groom were married.
Making them, The Husband and The Wife.
Otherwise, known as ... normal, boring people.

I have a long list of Fav moments, from Their Day.

1. The Fact that this picture was not snapped during a sweet slow song. Rather, it was during the Late 80's Jock Jam portion of the evening, specifically around the 'Wild Thing'.

2. That my husband was ridiculously handsome. It was almost as if the wedding colors were picked to match his eyes. I really had to step up my game, he was too pretty.

3. I received Two shout-outs from the wedding table.
Holla on that, Coach.

4. This........

it could not have been any sweeter to watch Coach, walk his tiny GG down the aisle.

Except, maybe when GG danced with her other grandson, The Groom.
She glowed.

5. Ladies. Make me happy.
I laughed. Danced. Smiled. Danced.
Especially, to the most awesome Madonna medley.
Not one song...but 3 leading into the Grand Fourth.
Props to Munchkin for the request.
Does life get any better ...
No choice, your voice can take me there...

6. Speaking of Just Like a Prayer.
My mother-in-law, gave the most perfectly timed, well executed, beautifully appropriate dinner prayer, I have ever heard at a reception. To choose the phrase "Celebrating in Heaven." Never felt more lovingly respectful.
Full hearts were truly blessed.

7. My cute boyfriend (on loan from his fetching wife, Doc). Whom we had the pleasure of sharing a hotel room with that evening. When I say evening, I really mean 3:17am, after Clark and Coach finally concluded their in-depth discussion on Why Twizzlers are so Amazing and went to bed for gosh sakes!!

8. A mid-dinner painful-draught delivery, courtesy of stealth planning by a thoughtful Coach/General.

9. Watching my poor Neighbor, sweetly and tearfully walk his beautiful daughter to her future.
And then... watching The Bride carefully enunciate each powerful vow, to her partner.
You would have to be stone, not to cry during this ceremony. poor Number Three, uncomfortably stuck between Flag girl and I, as we ballbaby-ed our way over one emotional hurdle...into another.
Thanks a bunch, Irish Blessing!

My two Least Fav moments....

First: That after snapping at least two dozen pics of the Bride, I was unable to clearly capture her beauty on digital film, due to her quick, excited movements and obviously too radiant gorgeousness for the camera's eye. It was like a National Geographic Life documentary, trying to locate an extremely rare and endangered species.

And Second:
That I was not cool enough, brave enough, too wife to a not tall enough...Woman to purchase, wear and execute dance moves in....
These Shoes.
Nicely done, Mrs.

Excellent party, Neighbors.
We more than enjoyed ourselves.

And to the married couple...
Nice a$$ job, getting hitched!
I wish you MANY years of joy.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

A little advice for The Bride.

This weekend, The Bride will, A Bride.
Officially, joining our family.
My gift to you, is a little advice, on marrying one of GG's grandsons.
(And yes, I am still giving a real gift.)

As you marry into this proud, Irish Catholic family...

Do you:

1.) Accept, for the rest of your life, you will be known as "His Wife". Because people will quickly forget, you were your own person.
2.) Do you promise, to create and nurture SEVERAL SuPerCute babies? This is not a family of 'only children'. That is not how they roll. Also, are you prepared to buy lots of pink? Five of GG's grandsons have produced a shocking twelve baby girls. Those boys, are not really famous for making boys.
3.) Do you like DQ? Cuz they Heart the bleep out of it.
4.) Do you fully understand that upon entering the family, you have given up the rights to nearly every weekend of the year to children's birthday parties? (some months, cake almost doesn't taste good.)
5.) Do you accept, that you are not living in a Julia Roberts movie? You are lucky, to be marrying a very Nice Man. But they are not, exactly, romantic. You will probably Not spend a spring afternoon reading poetry. He will, however, be nice.
6.) Are you prepared to laugh? Really, laugh all the time. They are funny. Even when you would like them to stop. Even when you are really trying to be mad at him...he is still f'in knee-slappin hilarious.
7.) Do you understand, that you will never again be the first, second or even fifth couple to leave a social function. You will very most likely be the last.
Or second to last, if Art is there.
8.) Do you, take this country boy? They are not scared of snow, rain, lightning, drought, an empty tank of gas, spiders etc... They are frightened by: cats living indoors, any spot of water larger than a 'crick', airplanes (cuz big heavy machinery should be in a shed, not flying) suntanning and bare feet.
9.) Are you resigned, to rarely traveling more than 2 hours from home? What if something awesome happened and you were the only couple to miss the fun? I mean, what if something wild happened, like one of the cousins were down at Willy's and you missed the opportunity to hang with them?! Tragic.
10.) Do you understand, that the most interesting people he knows, are his relatives? Therefore, at each and every event...please accept, you will hang with the same 8 people. Playing a game, they like to call..."Who is the most funny cousin?"
And Warhol, REALLY plays to win.

And last...
Do you promise to cherish a man and family who:
loves hard, laughs often, chocolates plenty, gathers FreQuenTly, is never NOT busy, has friends EVERYWHERE, are not familiar with the sound of quiet, considers Turtles the 'fancy bar', prefers beer over wine and will dress in costume for virtually no reason.

Well.... Bride....Do you?

Congrats to the happy couple!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Our Poor Parenting.............. Examples #364 & #365.

Tink has several friends, who have had pierced ears, for years.
No reaction. No Interest. No danks.
Until, new besties Ahkenna and Lana recently pranced around proudly like pierced princesses.
Then ... she could speak of Nothing Else.
"I want da earwings like my friends Lana and Ahkenna! Pink onebs!"

In that same span, Tink watched a recorded concert of Pink and then Avril Lavigne. (Step #1 in brain washing our children to become musicians for Coach's band.) Mix in a little Lava Girl and you have a lethal combination for the extreme need for
"Pink Earwings and Lots of Pink Hairs."
And she needed it, Like Yesterday.

Apparently, we adopted a Gwen Stefani Punk Rock Style of Parenting and cater to Tink's every fancy.

On Friday....

She received streaks of Pink Hair.
(Non-permanent and nearly completely faded.)

And this evening....
She got her earwings.

(Waiting in the chair.)

(Stone cold Preparation.)

(The EXACT second of poke. Very little reaction.)

(2 seconds following. Not even the welling of a tear.)

(A tiny, mini-upward curve of a smile.)

(Her Congrats Cookie. Also, she had obviously immediately grown from the experience. Older, wiser, more earringer.... next trip to the mall, probably for skinny jeans and training bras.)

There you have it.

Pink Hair: Check
Pink Earrings: Check
Immediate Plans for music lessons: Check
Intentions for an attempt at responsible parenting, completely thrown out the window: Check
Punk Rock Parenting Adopted and Implemented: Check
Growing Expectations that my Children will be spoiled Monsters: Check

But really, how cute are those tiny ears!

PS- It was mentioned, by several, that we should pierce Coco at the same time. I was this close to being convinced. Deciding factor?? My selfish desire to hear one more sweet, little voice beg...
"Pwwweasssse Daaaddy, can I habe da earwings??"

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I have a short memory.....

This morning, I registered for and ran (walk/slow jogged) a Relay for Life 5K.

(Dramatic Pause, for you to soak that in.)

Minutes that I have Run since the 5Mile:
0 Minutes.

Minutes, I kindly reflected back on the 5Mile:
0 Minutes.

Therefore, why the heck would I do this again?

Bikini issues?
I was bored?
I don't like to sleep past 6:03am on a Saturday?
If real life is not smacking me around, I like to go in search of reasons to torture myself?
At least this time I got a goodie bag and T-shirt?
I super hate cancer, more than my knees?
I'm an idiot?

All valid answers.

Here are my results.

Time per mile on the 5 Mile:
12 minutes 12 secs

Time per mile on 5K:
11 minutes 59 secs

Is that a significant improvement?
Not really, but a tiny one.

Bottom Line.
Do I now consider myself a runner?
Not in the least.

Referencing my original post from months ago....

I hate to Run.

I don't want to be friends with Running.
I don't want to invite Running over for a cookout.
I don't want to hook up with Running in a bar and give it my phone number.
I don't want to email Running a funny chain letter.
I don't want to know Running, talk to Running, send Running a Christmas card and I sure ..not ....want Run a 5Mile.

The difference?
I may give Running my phone number in a bar.
But only if I've had a couple drinks, it's over quick and he is not there when I wake up in the morning.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Breaking News...!

Coach and One have decided to start a band.

Neither can play a musical instrument.
Neither can sing especially well.
Neither have musical friends.

Their reasons are:

1. They know the lyrics to 'a bunch of songs'.

2. They are confident they can handle the groupies.

3. They feel they were destined to be Rock Stars.

Current info on Tour Dates, to follow.
Do not submit your name for back-up dancer.
They intend to do their own choreography.

I'm through with standing in line
to the clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

2010 Slam Dunk Contest

There was a mini contest earlier in the day, poolside.

But after dinner....
$h!t Got Real.

And yes, before you ask...
The Hoop is Regulation.

3 Guesses on the winner:

1. Nope, not the Show-off.
2. Nope, not the only man taller than 5'9.
3. Nope, not the Track Star who dabbles in basketball.

This Man....The Commissioner.

I guess the LiTTLe brother (strong emphasis on 'little') is not the only one with Mad Skills.

**Warhol forgot his tennis shoes, or I am sure he would have put on a show. Check on his February Birthday Post for the 2009 Slam Dunk Photo Winner.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What a Difference a Year Makes.

Our Third Annual Summer Trip.

Our children are all 'growing up!'.

Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa.
We were left with 3 very tanned and tired children.

Stay tuned...
2010 Dunk Contest Photo Re-cap

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Warning: This post is rated R-ish and may not be suitable for my Neighbors.

Random thoughts....

Sometimes, being in a strip club can be a little uncomfortable.
And sometimes, pretending to be a stripper, while your sister-in-law pretends to be the guy....more than a little uncomfortable.
and yet hilarious!

The quickest way to get Coach to NOT look at pictures of attractive women wrapped around a pole...would be to have all the women be either his sister, his cousin, or his wife on top of his sister.
All NOT good for him.

It stings, just a tiny bit, when men literally push your hideous body out of the way and leave your ugliness in a beaten path, on their way to the much more beautiful, Doc. Especially, when it happens...over and over and over...

The Old Ladies, had to take a mini break at Noodles in Company, to carb up. Making us VERY lame but left us feeling FaBuLous. It is hard work, being a stripper.

Something, very suspicious happened to that giant, inflatable body part. We should really think about investigating that whole situation.

Very fun night.
Great job, Munchkin!
My face literally feels tired from laughing!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

How much fun is too much fun?

Tonight, is The Bride's Bachlorette party.

Out of curiosity, how much fun is appropriate for a Mother of Three to exhibit in public?
Keeping in mind, most guests are Mother's.
(sorry we are not cooler, Bride).

On a scale of One to Ten.
One being somewhere around....

1. Queen Elizabeth
(in regular house clothes, no crowns or jewels)
2. Chelsea Clinton
5. Oprah after a few drinks, into the Ugly Dance.
8. Frank the Tank
9. Bret Michaels (circa Poison frontman/Rock of Love)
10. Lindsey Lohan (years 2007-2009)

Which would be most suitable for tonight's festivities?

Here is to a "Drama free, awesomeness had, excellent/non-embarrassing picture taking, no regrets, laughter filled, rockin out" evening had by all!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Flashback Friday

Two years ago,
we embarked on our First Big Ol' Family Vacation.

We took this itty, bitty chubby-cheeked
Tinkerbell with us.

Where the heck, did that innocent face go?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Jay-Z would be proud.

Tink: You habe a red ankle on your four-a-head.

Me: It's called a pimple.

Tink: Ohhh....
You habe a big pimp-ankle on your four-a-head.

Me: Thanks.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Beach or Pool?

I like me a Pool.
I am Not a camper, boater, raft swimming, sand digging, bug swatting kind of girl.
My Fav smell is and always will be Chlorine.
Unfortunately, our friends are the sort that prefer to camp in the Bear/Tick infested wilderness, rather than sleep in their perfectly nice air-conditioned homes.
I know! CraZy.
Today, they asked us to join them on the boat.
Begrudgedly, for my children, I will participate with their weekly Beach Day. Now, the boat....ick.
No danks.
But, since I began my week Running (walking/slow jogging) 5 miles... I decided to continue my Outside the Box Dance.

Immediately, I witnessed the most A to the Dorable thing.
A tiny, little 3 yr old Flower, pop right up on skies.
That alone...worth the trip.

After a few failed attempts, trying to get up on skies....a slightly miffed The Kid, pacified his disappointment, by grabbing His Girl for some tubing.

Totally, changed his mood from 'Huge Bummer' to 'This is the Greatest Day of my Life'.
A phrase, he is beginning to wear out.

Me: Tink, would you like to try and ski like Flower?
Tink: Ummmm, No danks. I don't tink so.

After, a long day, Mom was rewarded for her sacrifice.
With very cute, tired little kids.

After scrubbing sand from their butts and hair.....
I still vote for Pool.

But I can not deny the smiles you gave my kids!

Thanks for a great day,
Beach Bumming Family.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Well....we did it.

It happened.
I ran (walked/jogged) 5 miles.

Here, is the Post-Race (Walk/Jog) Update.

(How jazzed does this group look, to be up at 6:00am preparing to run (walk/jog for some of us) 5 Miles, on a holiday morning, for no good reason?)

(Yes, Coach won, from our group. With an impressive time of 38 minutes. And yet, the winner of the entire event completed somewhere around 26 minutes. Which is super human.)

(This is me and my mid-way racing partner, Sarah. We latched/clung onto each other during some very rough times. Specifically, Miles 2-4. That was not a pretty time and I sincerely apologize for subjecting her to my Sailor Mouth.)

(Warhol. Dramatic and Swift Race Finish Photo.)

(The Mrs. Despite what she may blog. She posted a VERY impressive time. Looked Fab. And carried on with a cheerfully/pukey attitude. I nearly pushed her.)

(Munchkin. The most Rocky-like finish of the day. At least for me. It was the only finish, I actually witnessed.)

What I learned:
1. Mile 3-4 was mapped out by the Devil.
2. I was totally not prepared for the TemperatureoftheSurfaceoftheSunHeat which radiated off the 3 Plus Miles of unshaded Black Top Road.
3. The TINY cups of water they handed out, seemed a little like a joke.
4. I do not have precise enough Aim to throw the tiny cups, into the tiny garbage bags, the poor 6 year old girls were holding. Sorry, little girls, for being pelted with my garbage.
5. I quickly abandoned my Run a Block/Walk a Block Philosophy for a Run Downhill/Walk Uphill Style.
6. Yoga Style Capri's may be most comfy, but at some point, I would have cut 17 inches off the bottom, if a volunteer would have handed me scissors.
7. Clark cooks well, normally. But following The Race (Walk/Jog) I chowed on his Buffet like a cow.
8. People who make jokes from the side (General) but are not even attempting to run. NOT funny.
9. When I get hot. VERY, very hot. I morph from my Normally Cheerful Self, to a Swear Word Spewing Glaring Pig-like Sweating Mess... which should not being around children. Sorry, to my nieces and nephews (and their parents) for yelling "This Sucks" as I ran (walk/jogged) passed their Bright Clapping Faces. Bad Aunt.
10. When "Just Like a Prayer" popped onto my IPOD for the remaining 4 minutes. My mind flashed to WWMD? (What Would Madonna Do) and it pumped me Up, to finish with a little extra Umpf.
Score 1... for awesome IPOD Playlist Placement.

End Result:

My Time: 61 Min and 4 seconds.
(subtract the time it took to actually get to start line, stopping to fold my pants legs up, pausing for near asthma attack, practically running sideways off track from a heat stroke) and we'll call that an even Hour.
I am pretty proud.
I completely crawled out of My Box.
I accomplished something new and different.
I did not die.

I would do it again.
With a tad more training and different shorts.

Great 4th of July Race Day, Clark and Doc!