Friday, September 30, 2011

Carbonhill: I'll see your Space Mobile and I'll Raise you 32 Bugs.

Apparently, it seems to surprise many to learn, I am actually not that Girlie. Sure, I do not 'get' camping and I prefer a pool to a beach. I do not stand in the rain (naturally curly hair does not friend the rain well) and I steer very clear of locations which house any blood sucking insects (ie. ticks or spiders).
Otherwise, I am not afraid to pick up snakes. I don't mind getting dirty. I caught a toad this week, I've disposed of bats. I'll catch worms and caterpillars, while gardening to show the kids. Therefore, when The Kid was assigned a large science project, showcasing various bug types: fine no problem. He had a few disappointing solo hunts, with minimal results. This rainy Tuesday afternoon, him and I set out on the hunt.
Rain: Broken Tru Stories Rule #1
We started lifting giant rocks. I snatched up centipedes, worms, crickets, beetles, slugs...etc.

I found a butterfly, caught that (which hurt a little knowing I had to kill a butterfly). Coach happened upon a wasp. Grammy and Pop-pop found an amazing (apparently pregnant via The Kid's doctor-like intelligence) praying mantis. (we did not kill her.)

Then... on the last rock I turned over, hid my mortal enemy. I was immediately gripped with fear. I felt my entire body resist the urge to jump back. But... I really bleepin love my son. I mean, I really must.. because it took 4 grabs for me to finally catch, this very aggressive and not cooperative wolf spider. Eeekk!!
We popped all the insects in the freezer (his teacher's suggested manor of termination) and put the project together, the following evening.

Ummm... the freezer obviously shrunk the spider slightly. I promise, it was 4 times hairier and larger than that, when I caught it.

(FYI: He drew the State shape, himself. Luv him.)

The assignment stated, a student must catch or print pictures of 15-20 labeled bugs to earn an A grade. The Kid's finished project listed 32 different bugs. We disposed of at least 15 additional bugs, we decided he didn't need. Nothing like obnoxiously over-achieving. It's so confusing, why The Kid is having trouble fitting in with the other boys his age.

Question... did I blog this:
to brag about my bug catching skills?
to brag about my smart son?
to trump the Mrs.'s space project?

or as proof for my son, when he yells "HE HATES ME AND I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR HIM!!!"... that one time, I stood outside in the rain, catching wolf spiders.
Now... he can take all that love and shove his "NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR HIM"! This was nearly equivalent to taking a bullet, for that child.

Yes, I'm a Little Ashamed.

Sometimes, not always but sometimes...
I will refer to 'Friday -Mornings' as

"For the love of everything! Can you please sit quietly for 10 more minutes and watch Dora while I finish this DVR'd episode of Jersey Shore- Mornings."

If that's wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Dear Clark:

- Do you remember, when you and I stood on this exact spot on Frenchmen street. We sorta had a moment. Chatting and complaining. You mentioned you were about to get violently ill... then rushed off to hail a taxi cab, like some New Yorker out of a movie??
Them were some 'good times'.

- Do you remember, the Halloween we fell In-Like with each other. When you described how Maddie is sorta your favorite because she embodies the perfect mixture of gross, hilarity and idon'tgiveadang-ness?
Them were some 'good times'.

- Do you remember, the wedding of the century
(Holla Back Bride) when you and Coach, stayed up too late, discussing in-depth the under appreciated awesomeness of Twizzlers?
Them were some 'good times'.

- Do you remember, weeks ago in the Barbershop, you explained in detail, your extreme annoyance with the Pu$$afication of our nation's youth?
Them were some 'good times'.

- Do you remember, your Out of This World Opening Day parties, when Coach mistakenly told his wife to "Maintain HERself"??
Um. Those were a little less than some 'good times'.

- Do you remember, when you declared every 4th of July, we should run (walk/slow jog) 5 miles in the sweltering heat... for no good reason?!!
Again. Less 'good times'...
I digress... I am getting a little off track.

- Do you remember, when you fell In-Luv with your beautiful and amazing wife... and you promised to love, honor and cherish her... for the rest of your life. And then... You actually have gone and done just that.
Then you gushed your love for Doc like a nervous teenager, to Gramma a year ago. Sealing your fate as Gramma's Number 1 Kiss-Up In-Law for life??
Them.. REALLY are some 'good times'.

I just like you. Your eccentricities and all.
Me and you are cut from the same bread.
Happy Birthday, Big Guy.
Looking forward to many more 'Good Times'.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Fair Warning:

Not only did Eight's birthday kick off a whirlwind of extremely necessary texting... it jump-started a Birthday Bonanza. September 23rd- November 22nd, my blog will memorialize/celebrate TEN birthdays.

3 nieces. 2 Bro-in laws. 1 Lil GG
1 Father. 1 daughter. 1 husband
and ending with 1 son.

In addition to famously entertaining tributes to their uniqueness, I will likely recap each event with adorable pictures and interesting commentary. In Conclusion:
Consider this your warning. If you are the rare breed, whom detests birthdays. Hates celebrating another year in the life of a loved one. Loathes happiness, candles, yummy cake (weirdo) and wishing others the gift of Joy.... Welp, you may want to take a mini-blog break. Go ahead and save us to your Favorites. Check back for the holidays.... but it could be your loss.
Because: Who has two thumbs and likes throwing a kick-a$$ party??? This girl.
(that maybe losses something in type.)
PS- I've got some pretty awesome bday plans cookin.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Eight's Birthday present.

Apparently, Eight was gifted some type of Ipod Touch with a text app, for her birthday. I did not know this ahead of time. Doc and I did not discuss present options or ideas. But at about 5:20pm last night, I started to receive text messages from Eight...
and they have continued through the week-end.
And trust me... they are pretty Earth shattering bits of information and/or in depth discussions. For example:

11:40am This Morning.

Eight wrote:
What's your favorite color? Mine is sky blue:)

(FYI: This is officially the first time, I have typed a smiley face. I'm keeping the integrity of her texts.)

I texted in response:
Purple. Always has been.

Eight replied: Nice!

I mean... seriously! What if that exchange had NOT taken place today? She may never have known my favorite color?! Thank gosh for modern technology.

Friday, September 23, 2011

It's a Sunshine Day....

Dear Niece: "Do you know you are my Sunshine??"

Eight is our family "Sunshine", without question. We happily absorb her "Warmth of the Sun". She bubbles as she giggles and loves so sweetly. Eight is known to follow her subject of interest (very) closely... famously becoming the "Sunshine on my Shoulder".
"I'll Follow the Sun" because each time Tink shrieks "Here comes the Sun"... our home immediately lights up. What makes Eight our "Little Miss Sunshine" is not only her "Sunny" blond hair or her "Brighter than the Sunshine" smile... What makes her a "Sunshine Girl" is her gracious personality.
For like the actual sun which shines down from above: Eight loves without prejudice or reservation. Her heart is innocently open. Her opinions are "Sunny" and her friendships are unwavering. Eight is compassionate and always equally inviting. (A little like her Grandpa).
I hope she never loses her enthusiastic bounce, as she spends life "Walkin on Sunshine."
I wish you a very happy birthday! And this post is
"All for the love of (our) Sunshine". Thank-you for making our family a brighter place. We can't wait to see you again... because there really "Aint no sunshine when you're gone..."
Finger's crossed for a great year gifted full of "Sunshine and Rainbows"!
We love you, "Sunflower".
Always... "Keep on the Sunny Side"...!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Number Five.

I officially crossed over 500 blog posts. In celebration, I have created a gift for our 'public'... (if you will).

There's a catch. To receive the gift, I have created...
My family of 5... during this week of 500 posts... would like to reach 55 Followers.
Becoming a Follower, makes it VERY easy to Comment. And let's be honest, sometimes the Comments, are the best stuff.

To all of our silent stalkers:
In Ireland, Pennsylvania, New York, Colorado,
Florida or Chicago... to my friends,
who log on to catch a glimpse of their children.
Or a mention of Asher.

To my neighbors, Street Sweeper and The Bride's Father, sharing their nightly Happy Hour session, over a few Miller Lites, while discussing the daily posts... (The Bride's Brother: You owe me $100.)

To my mother's SF crew. And Sweetbreads' Mommy.
Or my friends in AZ.

To anyone, who has enjoyed a laugh at Coach's expense. A slice of Tink talk, an icky update on Coco, pretty pictures of Flag Girl and Doc, or Warhol's hilarious Comments... It's time to Pay-Up.
The moment, this blog reaches 50 or more followers:
I will post the Blog Celebration Present.
(and it's not the pic of Doc.) It's better.

And to Munchkin and Mrs: Who will claim, I am beggin for followers... Get over it! My desperation, typically benefits your follower list as well... so bug off.
I got no shame in my game.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Rain, Rain, Go Away....

Per usual, it had to rain all over our parade.
But we were still able to mostly enjoy the afternoon. We eagerly embraced the Patriotic Theme, with a little more face painting. (Hey... Why not?!)

Tink and Bella Bella.

The parade began with a long walk of firefighters, police men/women, soldiers...etc. Very happy to recognize our national heroes.

Big cousin Number Three... received an umbrella from The Kid. Three is too pretty, to be getting rained on.

Six, Nine and The Kid's future wife.

Even Maggie Mae enjoyed the wet afternoon.
Complete with many happy cousin and big sista hugs.

It was a lovely and exhausting weekend.
Forever grateful for all of those who helped bring this event to our town. As always, The Greatest Weekend on Earth. (according to The Kid.)
PS- I took what was easily the best picture of the year... so HighLarryUs, Gramma giggled uncontrollably. But sadly, I am unable to post this picture, without the approval of Doc. And she's totally the boss. (seriously... Doc is pretty intimidating). No picture. Never gonna happen. No matter, how much Munchkin may have appreciated it....

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Face Painting.

Why is everyone, so much cuter, with face paint?
Why can't we just face paint, randomly through out the year? Like, it's any ol' Saturday... so let's throw on some sparkly face paint? Makes total sense to me.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Maggie Mae.

Any regular blog follower is aware, I have been suffering hard core with puppy/baby fever. Obviously, we are not succumbing to the baby fever in this lifetime... therefore (dot dot dot.) It is no secret, Coach was less than giddy, over the dog idea. We had the opportunity to purchase or adopt several puppies, over the last few months. All the while, I resisted a puppy-impulse-buy.
I made a detailed list. If I could not find a dog, with the following qualities, I would simply be a mature adult and just not get one. (Trust me... it was tough.)

I knew I really wanted:
A small beagle.
Preferably under 1 year but older than 3 mos.
To rescue/adopt a puppy, which would benefit from being a part of my chaotic family.
I did not want a fancy breeder puppy. (mostly because Coach would have laughed me out of the house, over a $550 puppy price tag.)
And he/she HAD to follow the trend, of our pets being named after Beatles songs.

Via Aunt Sharon's Puppy Phone Tree... we heard of what just may be: The Perfect Find. Her previous owner, worked very long hours. Her already busy family, unfortunately just did not have the time, to attend to the puppy as much as they wanted. After a few happy phone calls, we discovered 'Maggie' a nearly 8 months, small female pure-bred beagle. Nearly potty trained and completely kennel trained. After some tweaking of her name, we proudly became her owners. Our New Puppy, Maggie Mae:

If her previous owners desired to give Maggie Mae an active home. They succeeded. In less than 24 hrs:
She walked to the busy basketball courts.
Had an early morning jog with Coach.
A bath, with Gentle Puppy Powder scented Oatmeal wash. With a new Tink-purchased collar.
A walk to Tink's preschool for a class introduction.
A ride in Daddy's truck
(FYI: Coach FORBADE me to call him a Puppy-Daddy!)
Visits from cousins. Plus Grammy and Pop-pop.
(who ReaLLy needed a puppy pick-me-up.)
A quick nappy on the couch with moi. (What!? Coach, did I say she was on the couch?! Whoops, I meant... um, on the floor next to the couch.)
And several successful games of fetch.

Our only stumbles thus far:

1. Yes, I was standing outside at 6:25am this morning. And yes, that is very early for my notoriously precious morning sleep. That said, Maggie Mae entered her evening crate at 10:45pm and slept without a peep, until 6:20am. I can barely get my three children, to sleep so soundly!!

2. Maggie Mae is newly excited and eager to explore her surroundings. And ironically, she loves just as hard as our Coco likes to hug. The combo of the two, left for a pretty rough knock-down, make-out session... resulting in a very cautious and nervous Coco.

Overall, I have a pretty great feeling about this.
AND... isn't she super cute!!??

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

3 Guesses.... What we Got??

"Oh Maggie Mae, they have taken her away
And she never walk down Lime Street any more"

-The Beatles

It's not a prostitute.

Monday, September 12, 2011

To the Amazing Number Four...

"I'm sorry...
So sorry....
Please accept, my apology..."

Have I told you lately, you are super awesome?
You are probably are best nephew ever. Probably the cutest. Definitely the coolest. There is no one more amazing, more adorable, more perfectly perfect. You are Tru-ly the grooviest. The best baseball player, hands down. If someone had to wear purple and gold... you wear it better than others. Probably the best. I'm sure the coolest Raider eva. I have honestly, never met a better pre-teen. You may be the coolest thing this family has to offer, the world. After your mother created you... the rest of the family should have just thrown up their hands in defeat.
Because NO one, could ever be better lookin.
You are probably our favorite. Don't tell anyone.
I'm not even tryin to lay this on thick.
Just being your aunt, makes me a better person.
It makes my life, a little skippier.
I hope all of my children, could be like you.

You are awesome.
PS- I'm sorry.
PSS- Happy Be-lated Birthday.
PSSS- Did this help?
PSSSS- You are amazing.

I'm Legally Changing My Name:

It's officially happened: I forgot a birthday.
My poor, innocent, kind, never-hurt nobody...
Nephew Number Four.
Here is my list of excuses:

1. I got a brand new calender, two weeks ago and haven't finished filling in all the dates and birthdays (that's a fact)

2. My whole schedule has been thrown for a loop, since changing all my yoga/pilates classes to new dates and times. (also a fact)

3. Last week, got sorta busy, with Tink starting school. (fact)

4. It's all his god-father's fault, because he should have totally remembered and reminded me!
(Coach is a jerk.)

5. My bro/sister in-laws are terrible for not calling me out, on my HUGE mistake and helping me recover with a bit of dignity. (FACT!! I guess, as long as I am blogging about Chili... that's all he cares about!)
Ok... not really a fact. It is totally my fault, alone.

6. I secretly resent Four, because he proudly wears the Purple/Gold.. I grew to view as my enemy in my home town. (ok... not really a fact either. But he would look much better in green. Just sayin.)

So this afternoon, I am driving to the courthouse, to file the paperwork, to change my name to one of the following choices:

1. Mrs. Worst Aunt Ever of All Times.

2. Most Thoughtless Blogger in Existence

3. Conceited
(it's short... I'll be like one-name Madonna)

4. Nervous Nelly (that Doc is gonna hurt me)

5. Ms. Now I Have to Work To Win Back Clark, Doc and Four's Approval McPherson.
(It's wordy but I think it has potential....)

Feel free to vote on your Favorite.
After I return from the Courthouse,
I will compose his Birthday Blog.
If he even still cares.....

PS- I'm awful.

Friday, September 9, 2011

A Little More Texting...

Coco and I were chillin in her bedroom. I was busy cleaning, while she just as quickly uncleaned. After a bit, I noticed the unmistakable smell of a messy diaper.

With a sing-song voice, I say:
"Who has a stinky butt??!"

Turning towards me, with all seriousness (without a crack of a smile or hesitation) she immediately replies:


Of course, I had to text this exchange to any interested party. Flag Girl replies: "I love her..."

I reply to that:
"I know. How random that Chad's name came out?!"

Flag Girl responds:
"Or is it?"


In Conclusion:
Both Flag Girl and Coco, are pretty funny.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The License Plate Game.

Because we are Small Town Dorky and Proud, we ordered personalized plates for our new van.
(I know... super cool!) We put in three options for the final number and per usual, we did not get our request.
Instead, they sent us a random number.

It reads... (insert our abbreviated last name)
(BLOG) 2

Two?? Really?
So we spent a solid 20 minutes, trying to make up a reason to tell people, for why we choose the '2'.

For Example:
-There are '2' adults in our home.
-We met in February the '2'nd month of the year.
-Coach was Football All-Conference '2' times.
-We have '2' daughters.
-My heart leaps 'twice' when Coach enters a room.
-I am '2' inches taller than my husband.
-We rarely have '2' working toilets, in our home, at the same time. Making our plumbers '2' times richer.
-'2' people in this house 'habs ugwee brown eybes'.

We are accepting suggestions...
Please play The License Plate Game.
I love to see which of our Followers, is the most HIlarious. Winner gets some mad Blog street cred.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Mass Texts...

Coach texted out:
If you could get anything from DQ right now,
what would it be?

The Replies.....

Flag Girl: "Mud Pie Blizzard for def"

Warhol: "Chocolate Dipped Waffel Bowl"

Three: "Nutter butter blizzard, with hotfudge topping."

Doc: "Lg nutterbutter blz with squirt of hotfudge."

One: "Because there is no dollar menu, i would have one of the meal deals. i get my moneys worth."

(One didn't even 'get' this game... Food?? Come on!)

The Commish: "Nutter butter blizzard. We now call it the Nutter Queen."

We both decided to go with the crowd. Ordering two Mini Nutter Butter's with a squirt of hot fudge. I'll be honest (fully understanding we may be making enemies.) It was not life-changing. We both agreed, we would never order it again. Sorry, but it was too mushy... not enough cookie chunks. Reminds us of the always surprising disappointment of an Oreo Blizzard.

So Blog World...
If you could get anything from the DQ right now...
What would it be???

Monday, September 5, 2011

Coco's Week-End...

Coco kept busy on her long holiday week-end by:

Falling down the bleachers.
Putting a rock in her mouth.
Dipping her Barbie's hair, into a patio baby pool and sucking the dirty pool water, from the hair. Repeatedly.
Staying strong, during an impromptu Saturday late night with the Mrs... until 1:35am.
Licking the kitchen table, without reason.
Biting her sister.
Oh... and she colored a picture.
She's especially proud of the forehead portion.

She's really a special little girl.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Puppies for Sale!

Directly across the street, they are having a Garage Sale. Shelves, books... Golden Retriever Puppies. The girls and I, walked over. Sorta considered and contemplated. But let's get real. No Way. Too big. Too much hair. Too much dog. But they were cute.
So this is what I am wondering...
Where is the Garage Sale selling teeny, tiny Beagle Puppies?? Seriously. This is my decided, puppy of choice. I want one. Tink... wants two.

So... really. Give me an Address.
I promise. Coach will really appreciate it!
Honestly, what is the point of having a blog, if I can't score some Free Puppy Swag??