Monday, January 28, 2013

Losing My Religion.

Sunday morning we attended Mass at the church, for The Kid's school.  Getting the five of us, awake, dressed cute, out of the house and out of town before 7:40am... was a Sunday morning miracle.
Just as Mass was starting, Coco looked towards the back of the church and saw their Father.  Coco stood up in the pew, pointed and exclaimed "Look!  Dey have a different God here!!"

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The Winter Yellows.

In Tink's classroom, the children are on a Stop Light Discipline system.  Green: Great Day! Yellow: You had a rough day.  Red: Pretty serious trouble.
Tink is always on Green.  She's pretty quiet in school.  Focused on her little circle of friends and always does well on her school work.
Thursday, Tink brought home a paper, accompanied by her sad face.  She had gotten on Yellow.  There was a brief note from her teacher, attached to her Yellow: "Tink had to be told several times to finish her work.  She was too busy twirling her hair.  Tink has had trouble for the last few weeks, completing her work, without coaxing.  She is more than capable, she is just being lazy." (some of that is paraphrased)
I understood immediately.
Tink, like her mother, suffers with the Winter Blahs.
We have a few rules, starting in December:
1. We would rather not leave the house, once it dips below 50 degrees.
2. We prefer soft blankies to winter coats.
3.  Jammies are better than jeans.
4. We shouldn't have to use our brains between Christmas and Easter.  Except to decide which DVR event to watch.
5. Afternoons are designated nap time, could we maybe do 1/2 day morning Kindergarten, during January?
6. And to help keep our energy levels up, our diet consists of basketball game popcorn and peanut M&M's paired with daily doses of birthday cake.
Friday, Tink forgot her Show n Tell.
And because of the Yellow note, she did not get a prize from the prize box.  She stumped out of school, ran to grab my hand.  Exploded about her very bad day "Dis was the worst day!  I didn't get a pridze.  I jus wanna go home.  I jus wanna go to Grammys.  Humpf."
Bottom Line: If you need me or Tink, any time before May... I'll be hiding in my bed.  And she'll be hiding out at Grammy's.
Just let us know when it's time for sun glasses and swim suits. Life is infinitly better with a tan, than without one. Fact.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

He makes us Giggle.

There are too many reasons to like this kid:
He looks adorable in jeans.
He's sweet to his momma.
He has great taste in dates. (he is currently dating way above his pay grade, which just makes him more of The Man.)
He is cute with his little cousins.
He likes to pretend to be his Uncle's BFF.
And he'll totally be your DD, even if you hardly asked politely and gave him zero warning. (I promise, I'll pay you back... one day... years from now.)  And when he arrives to pick you up, he's totally willing to let you embarrass him via photographs, because he realized many years prior that YOU are the Embarrassing Aunt and it's better just to let it happen...
But mostly, this boy is so naively adorable.  The cutest little air head (meant with complete love!) That he will supply you with many.. many moments like these:

Set Scene: Aunt Flag Girl and her boys are baby sitting my girls, during an evening yoga class. (and every one knows... I have no life during the week, except yoga.) I arrive to their home.  Sit on the couch.  Wearing full yoga gear.  Begin talking about how great my yoga classes are going.  How many new yogis I have gotten over the last couple weeks.  Jumbo Joe and his girl friend are only inches away from me...

Joe's cute girl: Ohhh..!!  Yoga, I'd like to try that!

Flag Girl: I think we are going to start back soon.

Cute Girl: I want to try!  Jumbo Joe, shouldn't we try?!

Joe (shoulder shrug)

Flag Girl: Why don't more high school kids go??

Me: I don't know.  I've tried before.

Cute Girl (totally sweet and enthusiastic): Joe... we should try yoga!  Let's go sometime.

Jumbo Joe (TOTALLY DEAD SERIOUS!!): I guess... sure... if you can find a yoga class somewhere... I guess, I'd go...

Me (stupefied): Joe.. I'm sitting right here!  I'm the yoga teacher and owner of the only yoga studio in town!  You can ask me right now about classes.  I'm your aunt. I'm right here!

Joe (shoulder shrug)...

Man... T.G. That boy is so cute!
Happy Birthday Joe.
Love ya.  Thanks for dealing with my drama.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Green with Envy??

For the Rock of Ages, I secured feathers to my hair (because Steven Tyler likes him some feathers...) The next morning, I woke up and rather than carefully remove the feathers, I simply grabbed the scissors and chopped that section of hair from my head.  Whatev.
Coach was less amused.  I'm not sure if it was the blatant insult to his profession or maybe... it was my laissez faire attitude about my thick luscious hair and my confident assumption all hair can and will always grow back.
I guess, it's sorta like throwing my height around... like anyone can grow tall, if they want too.  Coach had a few choice comments about my chunk of hair, laying around on the shelf.
I have no idea, why he would be so sensitive.
It's certainly not because anyone gives him heck about his hair... or heck about many other things.
Warhol is currently painting yet another amazing mural, at a local establishment.  He is using Coach as a muse, for one of the scenes.  The character is a 'shadow' of his youngest brother.  Warhol snapped a pic and group texted a few of us the progress:
Sweetbreads: Sweet Stache!
Me: He can never grow that Stache. Ever.
Coach: I think the hairline might be a little exaggerated.
Me: Exaggerated in which direction...???
Coach: Duh
Warhol: Ouch.  I vote for Stache.
Warhol: And you're getting Lugz
Coach: Holla
Me: Maybe you should also paint his zipper down, if you're trying to make the painting authentic.
Coach: Now it's a party.
Sweetbreads: I'm getting uncomfortable.
Me: Coach is laughing hysterically at his reply.
Warhol: I know he is.  Me too.

Monday, January 21, 2013

The Commissioner

The Commissioner's birthday is the day following mine.  Very first thing that morning, I texted: Tag. You're it.  Happy Birthday back atchya.
He replied: Thanks.  Up a little early for something that should have a birthday hangover aren't you?
Me: Apparently, 36 yr olds are super lame.  I barely felt like drinking and we were home before midnight.... This is officially what it feels like to be past your prime.
Commish: Yay!  I've got 3 more years of Rockstar.
Me: Enjoy... it's fleeting...
Live it up Rock Star.
One day, you'll be as old and boring as me.
It happens before you know it.
Until then, you're golden.
Happy Birthday, Commish!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Happy Birthday Tru Stories

   Happy Birthday to my One!!
Hello blog world.  This is Coach once again to give Tru Stories her annual birthday shoutout.  I am sure everyone out there might be a little confused since usually when someone else besides Tru Stories is writing, it is usually me.  Well, I guess that has changed this past year.
Anyway, back to Tru Stories.  Every year I like to explain how much Tru Strories means to me and my family, well this year I decided to do a video of all of my favorite pictures of her.  Even though I am not going to write down how much I am in love with her,
or how much she means to me and the kids, 
or how she completes our family,
makes us better people,
 looks beautiful,
or how she dazzles us with her writing or party planning skills,
doesn't mean that I have forgotten about all of that good stuff. 
So here go's. 
Happy Birthday Tru Stories, cause its stupid.

Today is my Birthday.

And Coach has promised once again to reprise his guest blogging role, for the third year running.  (though he claims the honor means less now... that I will just hand the blog over to any body, to propose marriage and what not...)
just as soon as Coach is done working.
and then done coaching.
and then finally makes it home.
He'll jump right into a full nervous sweats panic attack over publishing my birthday post.  Who's excited?!!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Now Accepting Applications...

Today is Flag Girl's 40th Birthday!!
(I know... right?? Who believes that?!)

It is no secret Flag Girl has a large following via the Tru Stories blog.  She's adorable, not bad to look at and she kills the Comment section regularly.

Today, on This Day, the blog is officially establishing a Fabulous at Forty Flag Girl Fan Club. (we're probably having shirts made... and maybe key chains initialed FFFGFC... or something, we're still working on it.)

So if you are a Fan of:
Super cute girls, with infectious Coach-like giggles.
Beautiful smiles and sass.
Fun lovin rock star hair.
A hard core funky fashion sense.
Or a girl which is actually EVEN more pretty, hilarious and likable in person... Some one you WANT to be your friend, whom makes a good time EVEN better, just by arriving... and easily one of the best phone calls you'll ever receive mid-afternoon.

Sign-up within the Comment Section.
(we'll discuss Club Dues at a later date TBA.)

First on the List?
1. Me!
Flag Girl, I am lucky to call you my sista and my friend.  Life really really is better with a State Awarding Winning pretty Flag Girl, hanging around.  Many of my very best memories have (and hopefully always will) include you. Have an amazing birthday weekend.  Giggle, tan, soak up the sun AND the love.  Be safe and fabulous!
Happy 40th Flag Girl!  Aging with tru perfection.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Relay for Life Dance Recap (Finally)

After months of planning (and not enough skit practicing) we gathered Saturday for our annual Relay for Life event.  This year, the majority of our profits were donated to our friend Kahuna, whom is suffering from kidney failure.  Not to worry: We still Hate Cancer, we just Hearted Kidneys a wee bit more.
We enlisted the help of Coach's extended family and added a few close friends to help with our event.  Our theme was Rock of Ages and for one night... we all became Rock Stars (at least inside our head.)

Arizona flew ALL THE WAY from Arizona, to attend our event!!  Exciting.  Unfortunately, she had to leave early (sometimes it sucks to be a mom on party night) but not before snapping a great blogger picture.
Promptly, at 10:00pm we began our annual skit.  This year, we took a variety of songs and movie clips to become 'musicians and /or singers'.  Hard emphasis on quote marks. And let me first explain, it is more difficult than one would imagine to create a skit around Rock Performances.  How many times can you watch us lip sync on a mic?  So a few very brave souls attempted actual real singing.  The end result was pretty spectacular.  On a 1-10 scale for Having Brassballzery.

In a moment of brief insanity, I assigned myself the role of Steven Tyler, strictly based on looking the most like Steven Tyler out of our team.  (not necessarily a compliment to myself.)
I STILL have NO IDEA what I was thinking.
Friday night, during our final rehearsal, I literally had a minor (major) panic attack over my role.  While I do not fear many things, acting a complete spastic poor-dancing fool on stage, in front of a hundred plus friends... family... strangers..Little out of my comfort zone.
I'm more of a back-up dancer.
When I look at the pictures, or watch the video.. I honestly do not know who this person is.  I tru-ly blacked out during the entire (LOOOONG) 4 minutes.  I have no memory of what happened (except during the 3 seconds the music skipped... ouch.)

How do we continue to fly so outside of the box?  Over confidence?  Stupidity? Beer?? Take your pick.
              (Flag Girl and Slash, Too Cool)

Weeks ago, I texted Munchkin asking if she was still willing to humiliate herself in front of The Boyfriend and if Yes, than to what level of humiliation??  She replied, All In.  I'd say this guy is a keeper.

Flag Girl won for best Rock Star pics of the evening. 
 (Kahuna, the King of Rock!)
I really appreciate ALL our helpers: our DJ (smoke machine a hugely awesome addition!) our performers (especially our new addition: One!.... he's waited his whole life for that moment).. Great night.  Great family. I suppose.... I'll probably plan another.  But hopefully to a room of 300 guests!!
But... I probably won't hump another microphone stand.  Not anytime soon. I promise, Grandpa Art.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Kahuna's Rock of Ages Part 2

Immediately after Run DMC, Joe Perry and Spastic Me aka Steven Tyler, ran off the stage.... the actual Talent, continued with our Kahuna Tribute.
Chili D (as Slash), The Teacher (Axl) and Mitch (nicknameless but extremly talented).  They were amazing. So beautiful!!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Kahuna's Rock of Ages

The first half of our dance performance (the half with the 'pretend talent' entertainment).  I can NOT believe what we did.... can NOT believe it. 
Oh. My. God....

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Sick Day.

Coco has had exactly 2 ear aches in her mostly healthy life.  Both times, she neither complained or showed other signs.  The only sorta sign??  She became more sensitive to sound.  She asked for the music to be turned down in the van (normally Mini Rock Star wants to rock out) and she seemed 'louder'.
Over the last two days, Coco has been LOUD.
Extra energy.
Extra bouncy.
Extra loud.
And she is hard core into repeating "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom...etc" during all her tasks. So, we made an appointment at the Doctor this afternoon.

1 day of school missed.
1 visit to Doctor.
15 minutes of Coco and I standing in the waiting room, with hands dug in our coat pockets, not touching ANYTHING for fear of germs.
2 ears inspected.

Final Diagnosis??
"Your daughter's fine."

Me: "So she's just a loud mouth??"

Dr: "yeh... I guess she is."


Monday, January 7, 2013


I stole this bit from a friend's Facebook page.  She wrote this for the New Year... She is a wife and mother of two young girls...

A glimpse of things I have learned in 2012: It will be several years before I have normal box of tissue sitting in my house that has not been re-stuffed 20 times. If you put your food on your sister's plate when your parents aren't looking, you clean your plate a lot faster. Doing a 'booger check' on my work pants before walking in is wise, especially in the height of my children's leg hug face range. Buying band items for Christmas including but not limited to cymbals and bells just because I secretly want them to be band nerds like me was a dumb idea at ages 1 & 3. Just dumb. Playdoh also falls into that category. I have also realized at 31 years of age, My Husband still thinks farts are funny, and has kindly passed this quality onto his daughters. This is one way to keep those boys away I guess. A 3 year old can and will know more Spanish words than many adults just by watching several episodes of Go Diego Go and Dora the Explorer. I hope to learn even more insightful information in 2013.

The Box of tissues is a current issue at my home!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Moving Forward...

Well... we did not reach 300 Followers and technically, I did not receive any exciting feedback from England or various new voices from across the country... and Coach didn't get any numbers from the ladies... but I do have a direction to move forward with..

* I do not mind birthday posts, they are very fun to write for those whom love to check/read/Comment on the birthday posts.  For those who love them: You're still Golden.  Especially Flag Girl, now that I've heard from her English fan.

* People seem to find the intimate conversations between Husband and Wife, to be touching (no pun intended) so we will continue those... if Coach still has his funny.

* I get it Arizona: I need to blog more.

Sooo... that's it??
I think we may be shopping at IKEA tomorrow, maybe we'll lose a kid in the parking lot or something... to keep things interesting.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Ok... Let's Do This!

* I've noticed, my blog gets several hits from various locations in England.  In just one afternoon this week, 3 hits from 3 different English towns.

* There's a woman my mother knows, with a crush on my husband, though they've never met.  Just from reading this blog... which is weird, since I frequently degrade, debase and ridicule my husband.

* I've recently discovered another blog entitled Tru Stories, which began one year ago.  She posts approximately twice a month... about books... and she has over 300 Followers. Wha??

*The 87 Birthday posts are being reconsidered... as they are actually creatively difficult... especially for those whom never acknowledge the actual existence of the said post.

* Another follower recently asked why I do not have a book deal and then proceeded to point out other blog writers, who have book deals... though they seem sorta lame and my extended family seems sorta awesome?  Is it possibly because I drop the F##$ bomb and my youngest daughter licks werid stuff??

So... Here's the deal.
My blog and myself, need a Jump Start.
From you.
Use this first post of 2013, to Inspire me.

If you are from England... please tell me why, for the Love of Everything... you are even reading this small town blog?  Is it a Honey Boo Boo fascination??
If you are crushin on Coach... tell me why?  Do you want more Coach posts?  Or are you just checkin to see if he will EVER remember garbage day?? (PS. he completely missed it 2 weeks ago...)
If you like the birthday posts... should I keep writing them? What posts are your favorites?

Ask me a question. Anything.
Comment Section a burning hot topic question for Tru Stories and family.  What are you interested in?  Who are your favorite characters??  What I have posted, that you just COULD NOT believe or COULD NOT get enough of?
If you are silently stalking ... Become a follower.  The bloggers out West with 2 posts a week and 1500 Followers, totally baffle me.
Why don't I have a book deal?? ... maybe the World isn't interested in the sarcastic thoughts from a chick ugly enough to be called Flag Girl's boyfriend (no offense to Flag Girl's actual not ugly boyfriend..)

Seriously, this blog is drowning. I need a life raft.
Comment, Follow, Question, Inspire me...