Monday, November 2, 2009

A Plea to my husband's mistress.

On the eve of the First Basketball game,
I write this passionate letter to my husband's eternal mistress.

Dear Basketball Season,

I will not march up to you and claim, "He is my man, back off." I understand, that has never and will never be the case. While my husband loves me, I know my place in this relationship. You began your love affair many years before me. You have a passion that connects you as soul mates. You share stories and memories that I will never know (and frankly, I have heard enough). I have seen you together and I do not feel jealous of your closeness. I almost respect your intimate connection. You flow with grace, connected as one. I know you make him happy. It may sound unconventional to others, but the three of us all benefit, from each other. When he returns to me, after a game, I have shared in his physical high. I have tried my best to give you both your space. I hope you have always felt that.
There have been others, besides us. Human women, who were never worthy to compete with you. For a few years, he was very close with Football Season. I know this cut you deep. She was a rough and wild one, who seduced him quickly with the length of her field and large crowds, full of encouragement. I know he misses her and the fact that he still longs to be with her, must be painful for you. There have been other brief flings, Bean Bag Tournaments, Bowling with his brother, a Sand Volleyball game or two (only when he has been drinking, he swears it didn't mean anything to him).
We both suffered from a dirty girl, who clouds his judgment. Summer Softball Season. Oh, she does not fight fair. Enticing him with seedy small town bars, pushing for him to go away with her for the weekend, encouraging him to 'just have one more beer, it will loosen up your swing." I know we have both fought hard, with Coach, to end this affair. Pleading with him that she is no good, but he will not part with her. I know she will have to hurt him, before he will leave her.
Basketball Season, I must make one plea. I would never be selfish enough to beg Coach, for his attention for myself. I must try, for my children. You are aware we had two and I know that hurt you. Coach tried to spend every spare minute he could, Coaching you, a few 3/3 tournies, playing with you in two leagues (even if one was an Over 30 League. I know that was uncomfortable for you both to meet in such a shady and dark location. But you lower yourself when Tru love is involved).
What you do not know, is that we had another baby. It's ok, please don't cry. Coach still loves you as much, Basketball Season, but he really must spend more time with his children. Please, try to let his babies see him. Please, do not turn bitter and jealous. You still own his heart, if not his body. If you like, you may begin spending quality time with our son. He is young, but I think you will find his build desirable.
I hope we can continue working this threesome harmoniously. If I get angry, do not take it personally. Be comfortable in the knowledge that Coach will always be yours. A love affair for the ages. If only, he had been just a little bit taller. I understand, you can not choose who you are attracted too. Love is blind.
If he had been able to rise (short joke) to your expectations, you may have been able to spend a lifetime together. A disappointment, you must feel often.
Please, be kind to us over the next 5 months.
Share him, just a little.

Sincerely,
Coach's wife.

5 comments:

Munchkin said...

hehehehe

The Mrs. said...

I think my all time favorite Tru Stories post is going to change on a weekly basis if you keep this up.

Good luck this season, Coach!

Anonymous said...

Love it!!

The General said...

Wow, Coach is a tramp!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your 1-0 season. No wonder you are so happy. They look good! There is some potential there. Grammy