Why the F...have I purchased at least 14 pacifiers in the last 6 months and can only find ONE of them.
Why the F...does bath time become a battle of wits, balance, strength and agility, that I am losing every time?
Why the F...did my son rarely throw to First, with the accuracy mustered when he beaned me in the back of the head with a banana, from 3 rooms away... after giving him that, instead of Halloween candy.
Why the F...was Coach barely able to resist yelling, "Great throw!" as I rubbed my head?
Why the F...do my children scream in agony, as if I am applying their lotion with a Brillo pad?
Why the F...was I not raised Catholic and do not feel inclined to convert, and yet 4 weeks before my son's first Reconciliation, I threatened him with confessing such banana-like incidents to Father? Can I say, hypocrite?
Why the F...is Coach not more concerned, that if ONE MORE CHILD asks me for juice, I may run screaming and barefoot from my home, only to be found days later in a ditch, mumbling something about sippy cups?
Why the F...can I not sleep in, just for one hour and leave Tink in charge? What could possibly go wrong?