In honor of The Greatest Week of Calories. Let us celebrate, Fast food.
(The following are the opinions, suggestions and thoughts of the author (and a few friends). My ideas are not meant to influence or sway you.)
Why the F...
..does McD's need two drive thru lanes? They lead to the same window, of the same restaurant, with the same girl taking orders and filling drinks. Why confuse us with the two lines? I have enough pressure choosing a check-out line at Wal-Mart.
..is ordering food at Jimmy John's so scary? What will happen, if I order without mayo? Can those Soup Nazi's really ban me from all JJ's?? Though, I concede, you are fast enough to make me freak.
..does Papa John's always sound like a better idea than it really is? Unless, you order at 1:00am. Then it is ALWAYS brilliant.
..is 4th meal not catching on? Not for Taco Bell, but in life? We still have a little more give, before National Obesity is really a crisis.
..does receiving cold fries, feel like the greatest sin ever committed against me? And yet, I will continue to eat them, while driving away, though the disappointment may linger for hours.
..would you ever order a single cheeseburger, when the double is on sale for nearly the same price?
..can face cream not duplicate the ingredients found in McD's fries? When I find week old fries on the floor, they are the exact same consistency and color, as the moment they were ordered. How does that happen?
..has the blizzard not been nominated for Saint hood? Can we get on that, please? When times are tough, I always turn to a blizzard to lift me higher. She has never let me down.
..has Wendys not closed? Does anyone actually eat there?
..do we need to take out a loan, against our home to eat at Arby's? Curly fries, give back some love to the little people!
..is there that moment with Steak n Shake fries, where you think...do I eat these with a fork (unnatural) or with my hands (though they are too tiny to properly grab and dip). I prefer not to think, while eating.
..are Subway's chocolate chip cookies so amazing? Mrs. Field's, give that sandwich shop a call.
..is the morning after, Dr. Pepper and BEC meal, not listed on Web MD as a cure all?
..do we need to combine chains? How do Long John Silver's and Taco Bell blend together? What if a teenager got confused during prep. It could be catastrophic.
..do these places not deliver to my home? I am really exhausting too much energy, picking up my 1200 calorie meal. Wouldn't want my heart to actually work before I clogged it up.
3 comments:
4th meal caught on a long time ago at the Anderson's. We call it "bedlunch." Don't forget your roots. Let's think about the marriage of McDonald fries and Burger King Whopper. Top it off with "the" (yeah, I said it), The Dairy Queen milk shake. Munchkin made me thirsty, you made me hungry!
what about the round garbage holes that McDonalds put in. MY GARBAGE WONT FIT IN IT!! Are you kidding me? I didn't want to touch that food when it was hot let alone after my kids left it in a pile on my tray!
I know some people in the DQ biz. I agree 100% in the healing powers of the almighty Blizzard. I'll see what I can do about moving forward with that whole sainthood idea.
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