Monday, January 10, 2011

Dear Mrs.

I am taking a brief blog moment, to inform you,
I no longer like you.
I no longer desire to be your friend.

If there was a 'Dislike' button on your blog, I would click it 3 separate times in a day. Maybe 4. Possibly 5.

I shall never vacation with you again.
That is... if we were ever invited back.
Holla Back Sweetbreads and Warhol!

I still find your children adorable, yet Tink will no longer be allowed to play with your girls, as I would feel guilty if Punkin and Shortcake repeated back the swear words I had maliciously spewed about their mother.

Your smile is like bug repellent.
Your laughter is repugnant.

In closing.
I do not care for you. I feel contempt for your presence in my family. I loathe the very idea of you. You are an abomination on my existence.

Sincerely-
Tru Stories.

PS:
In related news....
Yesterday, I registered for the 5:00pm Heat,
of the Warrior Race.
Hate.

10 comments:

The Mrs. said...

1. You have a real way with words. A smile like bug repellent? A repugnant laughter? That's funny stuff right there.

2. If you stop to think about this for a brief moment, you actually have no one to blame but yourself. I was happily living my sedentary lifestyle until about a year ago when you shattered my lazy world with the idea of running a 5 mile race.

3. The fact that you have entered the Warrior Dash has turned an otherwise tedious and somewhat frustrating day into one filled with rainbows and smiles.

4. I now know just how far you will go for blog material. AND I HEART THAT FOR REALZ.

Anonymous said...

Holla for soms waks n baks

Tru Stories said...

It really has to be for Blog Material. Or extreme weakness under peer pressure. Because even now, with the Dash more than 6 months away... I feel like vomiting. Honestly.

Munchkin said...

all i wanted to see when i clicked on comments was two

sweetbreads says:
holla

warhol says
holla

that would've been hilarious, way to drop the ball guys

flag girl said...

I'm with Munchkin.......you two suck

Sweetbreads Bailey said...

Fine. Holla. I almost did yesterday, but then realized that I was 'hollering' to the fact that I am a trainwreck. :)

Anonymous said...

I Holla that!

Tru Stories said...

Sweetbreads:
We REALLY love to hang out with Trainwrecks... just ask Munchkin.
They keep us happy.

Munchkin said...

there's no such thing as bad press bitches

Bird said...

I was going to sign up for the dash myself. Apparently, life had other plans for me and I will have to wait it out. Good luck! Let me know how it goes.