Thursday, November 18, 2010

I'm so OveR being a Grown-up.

As Dawn broke in our home (literally, we were awake at 5:30am), we celebrated our 14th day Under the Republic of the Bizarre Flu.
The ailment has taken down 3 Good Men (honestly, just the good ones.) Tink and I (thus far) are the only unaffected. (Grammy claims we are too mean to catch the Flu.) It is comforting, to have a mother that praises you so kindly.
Obviously, I would credit Tink's diet of Tyson Chicken Nuggets, Capri Sun and M&M's for her tough as steel, immune system. Vitamin C, appears to be over-rated.
I have not slept a full night in 14 days.
I have held hands, wiped bottoms, fetched blankies and cleaned vomit. (Sadly, a few of those things were not just for the children. In sickness and in health. There's some fine print, for ya...)
Not to be ousted from his Throne as the most repulsive member of our household, The Cat vomited on our newly professionally cleaned carpets. Just to stay in the game.
I am exhausted.
Trapped in a pure-zombie like state, has left me munching on short-lived energy carb snacks, not typically in my daily diet. For example, The New Me eats chips right out of the bag. The New Me, purchases White Oreos (for the kids, my behind) and rips apart the top with shaking hands. The New Me, will cook a frozen pizza, without Coach's begging.
Therefore, The New Me has gained 4 pounds.
Coach, has lost 7.

My Funtastic 4 lbs + Coach's -7lbs =
Nobody's Amused.

Side Note:
Raise your hand, who is super excited to come to our home for Thanksgiving?! I need someone to bring an Apple Pie, a bottle of GermX, a relish tray and maybe an extra bucket.

LABEL: Yes, I know my blog is gross.


Unknown said...

But it is funny!! I will bring the Lysol spray over early. I will leave it on the porch. You can spray it all over your lovely home. By the way, I have not caught the flu yet either. Odd.

The Mrs. said...

Too mean to get the flu. I'm trying not to laugh, but it's not going well.

Anonymous said...

This too Shall Pass. Some day you'll look back (20 yrs) and laugh and wonder how you survived it. Life is great. Gramma G