Happy Birthday, Grandpa

Actual Phone:

Me: Hello?

Grandpa: Hey... I've got somethin to tell you but you gotta promise not to tell anyone.

Me: Ok!

Grandpa: Ya know that girl at church that yada... yada (actual details deleted to protect the innocent.)

Me: No.

Grandpa: Yes. You do! The girl.. at church... that yada.

Me: No. I don't know her.

Grandpa: Yes! You do! She... yada.

Me: I really don't. You know, I barely go to church.

(Quiet Pause...)

Grandpa: Uhhh.... Who is this?

Me: (My actual name). You called my house.

Grandpa: Gramma is not there babysitting?

Me: Nope. Not til Thursday.

Grandpa: Uhhhh.... This is awkward.

Me: Sooo... what's the big gossip?

Grandpa: What?

Me: The big gossip, I swore to never tell anyone??

Grandpa: What?

Me: You're really not gonna tell me, after all that?

Grandpa: I don't know what you're talkin about. Uhhh... I gotta jump out. Talk to ya later....
(And he hung up on me.)

Grandpa, on your birthday, I want to thank-you for one of the best phone calls of my life. I'll excuse the fact that.. A.) you did not recognize my voice or your wife's voice, for nearly 1 minute of conversation...
B.) Did not really have to "Jump Out" and instead hung up on me ... all because C.) It was too great when you said "This is Awkward." Greatest. Line. Ever.



You brighten the day, of each person, on each path you cross. You are the very best game, in our game closet. The most comfortable chair, in our family room. The cozy calm, of our crazy family. And the first laugh, we hope to hear, after each joke we deliver.
Take our very best recipe, for our very favorite cookie and you are the perfectly, sweet chocolate chip.
Without you, we would be pretty bland.

Happy Birthday, To a very Good Man.
We love you!