Sunday, March 20, 2011

Even the Cat has lost his Mind.

We had a relaxed, renting movies kind of weekend. I briefly left the house twice, in nearly 4 days. Once for Grandpa's late birthday lunch... the other, a longer than necessary, trip to the Vet.
I took our cat, to check for a possible legitimate reason not to string him up on the clothesline for 'wetting' on our laundry.
After a very long wait, in a small room with just me and my stupid cat in a box, the Tech performed a few tests. Moments later, the vet entered, asked a little 'patient history' and formed his professional opinion:
After 3 shoulder shrugs, multiple 'Gosh I'm Sure Sorry eyebrow raises' and $104.60 worth of urinalysis, Dr. Vet determined... My cat has behavioral issues.
End of Story. Bad Cat.

He gave me two Official courses of action.

1. I could buy 2 more litter boxes and place them in his preferred 'accident areas'. (Funny to call it an 'accident' given that bleep of a cat, knows exactly where he is 'accidenting'.) Three different litter box locations to prevent Kit from making sand castles out of feces. (and no... it has not escaped me, how often I am blogging about feces.)

2. He would prescribe a Behavioral Medication in pill form, for us to give Rigby orally, once each day. "Which would hopefully, produce positive results in a month or so...".
I sarcastically laughed and responded,
"Like my cat is a child with ADD... sort of drugs?"
He missed my humour and answered,
"No... it is Prozac. Like if your child had Behavioral issues or was depressed."

I responded with a Stone Cold Look which read "What the What?? Prozac for a Cat... are you for Realz??"

I explained, I would discuss this with my husband. (Laughable.) Threw Rigby in the box and left.
Now, I realize there may be sad sacks kinda people, who will give a dumb cat pills daily and can barely finish a burger at The Pub, without having to call his mother to 'get his wittle kitties their meds'.... but those sorts of people, are very much NOT Coach and I.
It looks like this household is lookin for an Option #3. Any ideas/takers...?

Tink has her opinion:
Tuesday morning, she announced "I dink my berry good friends Lana and Kenna, rweally want Rigby to be their kitty." She marched down the hall and returned with my phone. "Send der modder notes on your phone. We can gibe our kitty to my friends and then we will get a newb cute puppy, wif a pink bow and name him Bird."
She watched me text her plan and waited patiently for an answer but "Der Modder" has a real job and took FOREVER to text back. The reply read, as follows:

"What if Bad Luck Chuck takes the physical form in Rigby? I just can't take the risk of voluntarily displacing him on OCH. Sorry, Tink. But you should totally buy her that puppy anyway. I've heard that some breeds LOVE to eat feces - it would be a win-win for everyone."

Sooo... it looks like Tink's idea is not gonna work.

3 comments:

Chili said...

It was the Pub II!

The Page Turner said...

Saturday while Tru Stories had cat at vet, Tink came up to me. She got real close and whispered: My Mom is not bringing Rigby back. I was ready to tear up. The poor thing knows if an animal leaves her house, there is no return. Tink continues, she is getting my puppy with a pink bow, named Bird. The tear stopped rolling down my cheek.
I AM NOT TAKING THAT CAT!!!

Munchkin said...

I could take the cat. The cat won't last a day with the dog. She really just wants to play. You know, in that over-bearing I'm gonna eat you kind of way.

Did supersmart vet do a physical exam? Like for bladder stones? Would it be weird to give a dog pills every day? I would totally do that, except it would be more like the my dog is a kid with ADD kind of pills.