Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ok, I guess it's my Turn.

Everyone and their mother (not mine... she blogs about books) but everyone else... has blogged about their 'Kick-off into Training'. Yada, Yada.

Long time Followers- you'll remember I barely semi-pretended to become a Runner, last summer.
My mission, stopped faaaaar short of successful.
Therefore, "if you are an embarrassing loser/failure to your son once.... try, try again".

This summer, I have officially committed to 2 Races.
With a possible third in May.

Per our Super Fun tradition: The 4th of July 5Mile.
Obviously, One cannot celebrate our Nation's birthday, without suffering a near heat stroke and moments which will forever label you... "The Aunt that Swears".

Next, we registered for The Warrior Dash.
Duh... why wouldn't I??
Have you ever met a person, more Warrior-ish?
Jumping over fire? Love it! Running through rivers??
Why the heck not?! I probably only change my wet socks 4 times, while bathing the girls. Crawling under barbed wire, in the mud? Sounds amazing! Paying $70 uncharitable entry fee, to possibly seriously harm myself... Makes complete sense!
All while running from one awesome obstacle to another, with unabashed exhilaration?? I can think of no other way, to spend my summer Saturday. Honestly! I definitely would Not rather spend an afternoon in a chlorinated swimming pool. No thanks...
Bring on the Mud!
(If there were an Official Sarcasm font and/or color, I would lace this entire post, in it's glory.)
Like my other (idiots) friends and family, I have kicked my work-outs into High.Hard-Core.Gear.

February 22nd: Spent 1 hr on Amazon, reading Mommy Comments and selecting the perfect double jogging stroller. Took a mini-nap on the couch, after my eyes got computer tired.

February 27th: Laid in bed, eating microwave popcorn, as I supervised Coach constructing jogging stroller, on our floor. Laughed after the fully-assembled stroller would not fit out of the bedroom door.

February 28th: Canceled my only exercise (Yoga) to take our children to the Aquarium and out for pasta.

March 2nd: White Trash DVR'd the lame infomercial on Kettle Ball, while faking my first go... at our Wal-mart purchased 15 lb Kettle Ball. Quit after 13 minutes, due to painful screams from my confused back muscles.

March 3rd: Piled kids into jogging stroller. Walked 1 block, sat on the floor watching Coach play basketball. Got bored. Walked 1 block, back home.

March 4th: Ordered bacon-cheeseburger pizza. Inhaled, as if I would never be fed again, while Sweetbreads shuddered in disgust, at my gluttony.

March 5th: Took a 3 hr nap.

March 6th: Took a 2 hr nap.

March 8th: Got my hair done.

Right on schedule. Now... I downloaded this Training Program off the Internet from experts.
It is not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution.
I am Warrior... Hear me Roar!!


Chili said...

We can walk together during the Warrior Dash. I can't get my body to run (jog) any longer than 20 minutes.

Doc said...

I like your training!! You are a WARRIOR!!

andrea said...

hmph, after reading this, it sounds like I too have been training for this running thing. awesome!
*minus the naps & i get my hair done on Saturday.

Anonymous said...

Between you and the cheeseburger pizza, Coco and the Old Spice, and Flag Girl flying full mast...Sweetbreads needs a break....

Cath said...

Although the whole thing is funny February 27th got a lol! Someday when I'm not knocked up I'm totally doing that warrior dash, walking style of course.

Doc said...

Is someone knocked up??????