Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Happy Birthday, Grandpa

Actual Phone:

Me: Hello?

Grandpa: Hey... I've got somethin to tell you but you gotta promise not to tell anyone.

Me: Ok!

Grandpa: Ya know that girl at church that yada... yada (actual details deleted to protect the innocent.)

Me: No.

Grandpa: Yes. You do! The girl.. at church... that yada.

Me: No. I don't know her.

Grandpa: Yes! You do! She... yada.

Me: I really don't. You know, I barely go to church.

(Quiet Pause...)

Grandpa: Uhhh.... Who is this?

Me: (My actual name). You called my house.

Grandpa: Gramma is not there babysitting?

Me: Nope. Not til Thursday.

Grandpa: Uhhhh.... This is awkward.

Me: Sooo... what's the big gossip?

Grandpa: What?

Me: The big gossip, I swore to never tell anyone??

Grandpa: What?

Me: You're really not gonna tell me, after all that?

Grandpa: I don't know what you're talkin about. Uhhh... I gotta jump out. Talk to ya later....
(And he hung up on me.)

Grandpa, on your birthday, I want to thank-you for one of the best phone calls of my life. I'll excuse the fact that.. A.) you did not recognize my voice or your wife's voice, for nearly 1 minute of conversation...
B.) Did not really have to "Jump Out" and instead hung up on me ... all because C.) It was too great when you said "This is Awkward." Greatest. Line. Ever.

You brighten the day, of each person, on each path you cross. You are the very best game, in our game closet. The most comfortable chair, in our family room. The cozy calm, of our crazy family. And the first laugh, we hope to hear, after each joke we deliver.
Take our very best recipe, for our very favorite cookie and you are the perfectly, sweet chocolate chip.
Without you, we would be pretty bland.

Happy Birthday, To a very Good Man.
We love you!


Coach said...

Happy Birthday Dad, I would write more but "I gotta jump out".

ct said...

happy happy birthday "grandpa". hope you have a great day!!!


Sweetbreads Bailey said...

Happy Birthday!! Have a great day!

Flag Girl said...

Were do you "jump" actually?
Does Fed "jump out" as much as you?

Happy Birthday to the Best Dad a girl could ask for! Love you...

Chili said...

Happy B-Day Art!!!

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday! You head up a great family. Good job.
I'm sure Grandma G is really in charge. For your birthday, I'll give you credit.

Doc said...

Have a great birthday Dad!!! You are the best Dad / Grandpa ever!!
Love Clark, Doc, #4, #5, #8.

The Mrs. said...

I think I just found my new favorite phrase.

Happy birthday, Art!

North of 10th said...

Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

Have a great birthday!!!

Munchkin said...

um, was i the girl at church?


happy birthday!!!

Tru Stories said...

Dear Doc:
Do you think Clark is comfortable with you signing his name to that comment?
It's possible, Clark actually favors his own father... rather than declaring your dad to be "the best Dad ever!".
You should maybe check with him.

you can call me al said...

Happy Birthday! I'm sure that you took care of eating the chocolate today :)

Stephanie said...

Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

No, Munchkin, You were not the girl.
Happy Birthday' Grampa, She is right. Without you life would be bland. You definitely light up MY life. Love you forever. Sport

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dad..couldnt get on line yesterday...I'll have to ask Grandma what the weather conditions were the day you were born. -NOTJeremyhol