Why don't I have my own Bathroom?

After the Fact, I realized The Kid used my
Jergen's Self Tanning/Cellulite Reducing Lotion,
following his shower.

Rather than be miffed,
he drained my $8 bottle of lotion,
I felt a huge wash of relief.

Because, frankly,
that child is ghostly pale
with rather large and dense patches of cellulite
all over his thick thighs and bulging belly.

I am grateful, he was able to recognize the issue,
for himself.
I had been dreading that conversation for months!