Dear Commissioner:

On this date in history, you took me man-hunting.

We had a specific list of characteristics.
1.) He must be taller than me.
2.) He must be kind.
3.) He must have a job, with insurance and benefits.
4.) He must be older, established and seasoned in life.

I have since, come to realize, none of the men you know, actually qualify in all Four categories...but you lined up your best bets and we headed out.

Now, like any great hunter, your prey was unsuspecting. We moved stealthily and with a keen, watchful eye. One by one, the Targets fell off my radar. Some, for superficial reasons... a few, for fairly legitimate issues.
We returned from our hunt, exhausted but in good spirits and ready for a post-outing party.
Upon arrival, we encountered my future Tru Love, the man of my dreams, the father of my children...passed out on your couch. Clothes, boots, hat and all....ready to bounce back and start Round Two (or maybe, knowing him, Round Three).

(actual picture, is it any wonder, I chose him?)

I sat down, next to this immediate Winner, engaging him in witty banter. Oblivious, that he was guilty of Not One, of my Four categories. It is not obvious, how Tall a person is, on the couch.
You would think, he could at least qualify for Category Two, but not from the glowing recommendation, his elder brother bellowed from across the party.
"Don't Date my Brother!"
"Stay Away from my Brother!"
"He is NO Good."
And other expletives, not appropriate for blog reading.

I could have registered your advice, except:

A.) The more negative and Bad Boy the review, the more attractive he became.

B.) Also, at this moment, your impeccable judgement seemed blurred.

For this night in history, is also the night, you were dared to eat a piece of dog food.
And. You. Did.
Commish.
Twice.
Making Jackie, a winner, as well.

I would like to commemorate this moment, by thanking you, for your poor advice. For warning me, so fervently against your younger brother, that it pushed me towards him, that much harder.
You were so very convincing in your disdain for him, I knew this must be the man for me.
Maybe, that was your plan, all along? Maybe, you really wanted us together and only pretended that he was a worthless, bad-news heart breaker?

You are a sly one....

One day, when our children are told an edited, sweeter version of this tale...you will be the hero, in our story.
The man, who convinced not One cousin but Two, to marry into your family.
Tricking two 'brown-eyed' girls, that we just had to turn your Family Tree, into our Family Wreath.

Well played, Commissioner, well played.

On this Flashback Friday, I would like to Toast, these two brothers.....

...for becoming cousins.

I love you, both.