Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Who would you Jack??

Grammy purchased these little black books on Etsy, for Munchkin and I. They will be very convenient while playing a game I created years ago, entitled...
"Who would You Jack??"

Here are the rules:

1. Pick a person, for example...
your 4th grade teacher or your sister.

2. Premise:
You march up to this person, pause and then Jack them in the face. They will retain this information for approximately 9 seconds (long enough to react with an expression of recognition but not hit you back) and then their mind goes blank, never to be the wiser. Said person, would be completely unaffected, not even a bruise. You, however, would have a victorious skip in your step and sly smile across your face.
All the while, Karma, God and/or your Grandmother, looks in the other direction.

3. So... Who would you Jack?

Now, maybe your first reaction may be:
The horror! She's a terrible person!
Who would invent such an awful game!!?

After you get past all that.... Think on this for a minute or two. Let it soak in.
Is their someone who has offended you?
Made your child cry? Or rubbed you the wrong way?
Prances about, owning the world, as if they couldn't use a good smacking?
Stole your boyfriend in the 7th grade?

Now, make your list.
Safely in your mind, or share with a VERY close friend, not prone to blabber mouth syndrome.

Therefore... Who would you Jack?

1. I have NEVER and do not plan on EVER punching a person, in my lifetime. Please, do not stop reading my blog, out of moral protest.

2. You are not allowed anyone under the age of 17 on your list. Unless you are a parent of a teenager...then do what you need to do. No judgement.


The General said...

No particular order:

1. Roger Goodell
2. Nene (Celebrity Apprentice)
3. Chris Brown
4. The Situation
5. The entire Illinois General Assembly

I forgot about this game. This needs to frequent the blog a little more.

Anonymous said...

So..... They CAN be 17?

Flag Girl said...

I have a handful of people I would like to Jack today......But I want them to remember it....seriously remember it.

Anonymous said...

The books look kinda small....probably won't hold many names.....

Anonymous said...

1. Rosie Odonell
2. any man that hits a woman( that really didn't have it coming)
3. cant use real name so..Shmanny Shmriley.
4. Anyone who looks Jersey Shore
5. Whoopie Goldberg
6. Michael Moore
7. A rolly polly that upset my mother that lives close to Commish
9. dogs...OK too harsh, people that think its acceptable for your stupid dog to root their disgusting wet noses around my legs!
10.Kathy Griffin
-guess who

Chili said...

1. Anyone who lingers in the left lane.
2. Punks who do nothing at the gym other than look at themselves in the mirror and get in my way (Come on I have muscle to build here).
3. Donnelley IT Dept.
4. And today.....Flag Girl!

Flag Girl said...

1. I second Rolly Polly (still laughing)

2. Freshman Baseball Coach
3. The girl that flipped me off in the car yesterday
4. My nosey neighbor
5. anyone who is arrogant
6. T. Hahn

Tru Stories said...

First: I had NO idea, people were going to post their actual lists. I love it! This could be the greatest Comment section of all times.

Second: Looks like Flag Girl, The General and AnonymousHol, are going to need Grammy to purchase them some books.

Third: If I start posting my list, I'll probably need to turn this into a weekly series.

Tru Stories said...

Ok... Ok...
Just a couple:

1. Our cat (Warhol opened the animal door.)
2. Parents who break their children's hearts.
3. Coaches that stack 9/10 yr old teams, causing the other teams to cry, nearly every game, as they lose OVER AND OVER again.
4. Schmillary Schlinton.
5. Several girls from Jr. High
6. Many of my brother's old friends.
7. Sometimes, my brother.
8. Bono
9. Lady Gaga's clothes closet.
10. Ruby from the Max & Ruby cartoon. Actually, probably both of them.

Anonymous said...

Customer service at Leap Frog
That dude from Sears
The liability insurance industry as a whole
That insane lady that kept waiving at me yesterday...wait. That was flag girl
The dude that came up with the new Mcdonalds food line

The commish

Tru Stories said...

Come on, Commish....
we all know your list is WAY longer than that.

Sweetbreads Bailey said...

1. The lady that yelled at me on the phone yesterday-happens weekly
2. My sister's friend that lost my bike tassles
3. Every Chicago driver
4. Whoever started the phrase "shut the front door"
5. Gill

I'll keep the others to myself. That was fun. And theraputic.

Arizona said...

1. Old SF Boss in IL
2. current SF Neighbear
3. Bob
4. exboyf's exgirlf (not me, obviously)

i know there are a ton more, but that's my immediate list w/o thinking :)

Coach said...

J.G. Wentworth
AJ Perzinski

I will be back later for more.

Coach said...

The old guitar player for the SNL band with the long blonde hair, and the lady DEA agent from Sons.
Also the new band for Creditreport.com.

Tru Stories said...

I would NEVER, get close enough to the Creepy SNL guy, even to Jack him.

Anonymous said...

11.Larry the Cable Guy
12. People who yell at Sweetbreads
13.The writers for the WB
14.People that say,"You missed a spot." and think they came up with something new. They may be wiped clean of the jacking memory, but it will take forever to get that paint out of their hair.

Toula said...

-In-the-way bikers pretending they’re cars
-George Lopez
-Select coworkers and customers of Munchkin
-Peter Francis Geraci
-Tyler Perry (stop making movies already)
-Everyone on The View
-The Sham Wow/Slap Chop guy
-The people who walk on the wrong side at the mall
-Lady Gaga
-Ed Hardy
-My supervisor who puts work on my desk 10 minutes prior to the end of the day

I agree with Sweetbreads; very therapeutic.

Tru Stories said...

To clarify:

1. I would Jack... girls that I went to Jr high with... not girls currently in Jr High. (Coach was confused.)


1. Jay Leno
2. Several of the daytime cashiers at Wal-Mart.
3. My first boss in AZ.

Unknown said...

I have been waiting all day for this, (I feel better already).
1. People that hate on Oprah
2. Glenn Beck
3. Zack & Cody
4. People that ruined baseball season.
5. Arrogant rich people - your already rich, must you be arrogant too.
6. Many Unit 5 Administrators from my kid's school years
7. Dallas Cowboy fans - unless they are Texans
8. My brother, because he always hit me and I was not big enough to hit back.
That feels good. I might be back for more later.

Flag Girl said...

That really sucks about your bike tassels Sweetbreads..

The Mrs. said...

My list is lame, but I can relate to so many already listed. I'm going to start a running Jack List so I'm better prepared next time.

1. Kobe Bryant
2. Mothers who share very detailed stories of their very messy marital status with their already fragile eight year old daugther
3. Jill Zarin
4. Miley Cyrus
5. London from Suite Life on Deck
6. The Kardashians
7. Myself for continuing to watch any reality show starring The Kardashians
8. Actors in the Cialis commercials

Unknown said...

Could we have a once a month Jack List? Like 1st Monday of the month. Something we can look forward to.

Munchkin said...

Page Turner - That's PERFECT. I can't even count how many times per day I say that I want to punch someone in the FACE!

Who I don't want to Jack
1. Toula, for wanting to Jack all the people that ruin my days for me
2. most of you guys

yeah, that's pretty much it so...

Toula said...

Are Zack and Cody, (and London,) 17? Weren't they just being all cute in Big Daddy?

Chili said...

5. Yoga Instructer

Chili said...

6. Coach, for not having to train for countless hours for a race I have to finish just to drink beer.

Cath said...

Zack & Cody are the kids that played on Big Daddy? How did I not put that together before? London, definitely jack her.
All characters, especially Brobee, on Yo Gabba bleeping Gabba.
Can we do this again when Dino Dan turns 17?
Any one-upper that I tell a story to & associates anything they can think of to one-up my story.
Those people that say 'congratulations on your baby -insert boy/girl-!' or whatever on someone's FB wall before the person has announced anything JUST to be the 1st person to announce it to everyone else. I'd jack them twice. Not your news!
People that ask me if 'I'm due any day?' or 'if I'm sure it's not twins?' with that sincere questioning look. Two jacks for any woman who's had a child and asks either of these questions.
This is fun, I need this book.

Coach said...

We can do all of Dino Dans teachers and parents. Obviously the kid has got some major issues and no one seems to care.
Myself for not training for the Worrior Dash.

Tru Stories said...

This is officially the most Commented Post ever... and easily the most entertaining Comment section of ALL TIMES.

I would like everyone to go home tonight. Have a glass of wine (maybe two) and come back with your REAL list. Names, dates, reasons...
THAT would be entertaining.

CT said...

i am cracking up! my turn.

1. sticking with kids shows....The Wiggles! enough said.

2. The people at Millikin who said a whole year of my credits would not transfer.

3. Going with Cath on the facebook thing......;)

4. People who say, "aren't you sad you didn't have a girl?!"

5. People who pretend they have lots of money but are for real, in lots of debt. Stop pretending!

6. SUPER bratty kids.....over 17 of course! ;)

7. The person that keeps subpeoning me to court...........

Man, that DID feel good! I could keep going but better stop! ;)


Tru Stories said...

You know who I would like to Jack, now??? The people working on the Blogger system, this week.....

They shut everything down and in the process, I lost 22-31 of the Comments.

Mrs, Cathy, Coach, Doc...

Please feel free to Re-post your comments.
Bummer too... that was the official, highest Comment and more awesome Comment section, of all times.