This afternoon, Coco was taken in as Show and Tell. Requested by her big cousin, Nine. I remembered my camera (of course) but really needed video. It played out, a little something like this:
Teacher: What or who did you bring for Show and Tell?
Nine: My cousin.
Teacher: How nice! What makes your cousin so special?
Nine: She likes to eat stuff. Like deodorant and markers. (Nine turns towards me) What other things does she eat??
Me (feeling less proud but keepin it real): Crayons, dirt, necklaces...etc.
Kids in classroom: Hysterical laughing and pointing. (Nine smiles because she is KILLING Show and Tell.)
Teacher: And is this other little girl, your cousin?
Nine: Yes. (Tink hides behind me, after glaring at the crowd. She's nobody's puppet.)
Nine: Their older brother is (insert real name. Followed by EVERY child in the class raising their hands because they know The Kid).
Some Boy: 'The Kid' called my Dad an idiot.
Me (inside my head): Then he probably IS an idiot.
Teacher (bringing the subject back around): What else can 'Coco' do?
Nine: She wears her sunglasses upside down, she made-up her name, she thinks she is a Tiger and she growls at people.
Coco: I'n a Tiger... groooowlll.
Kids in Class: She's Awesome!!
Me (inside my head):
My baby is coming off like a moron.
Teacher: I'll bet she really loves you for being her big cousin. Do you ever babysit her?
Nine: Yep. Sometimes when our parents are.... um....
Me (inside my thoughts): Don't say drinking!! Please don't say drinking!!
Nine:... when they are hanging out, I watch her. Or when we are at The Kid's baseball games, I watch....
Boy in Class: One time, 'The Kid' told me I was dumb like a baby and I probably wear diapers...'
Me (inside me head): ARE you dumb?? Gosh, my eldest sounds like a real jerk. My middle looks like a snotty brat. And the youngest, is a dirt eating puppet.
Coco pulls on Nine's shirt and does this:
Ok. That helped.
Then we handed out 100% Real Fruit Juice fruit snacks.
Mild-Stay at home Mom-Redemption.
Still, cousins are cute.