Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Dear Tom Brady:

What must it be like, to have the hand of God, reach down and declare "This boy shall be Golden"?
I mean, really was it not enough...
that you are a professional Quarterback?
Or tall and fairly attractive?
That you had one already very beautiful Baby's Mama and then traded her up for
The Most Beautiful Super Model in the Entire World?
Who Models for Victoria's Secret.
Speaks 3 languages and is from Brazil (enough said)?
AND those Mama's pop out a couple of very cute little sons. Who will also be tall and attractive.
And probably professional athletes.
And those Baby's Mamas are still super hot.
Oh... and you are all billionaires.
With lavish homes across the globe.
Adding insult to injury... you went and grew hair.
Lots of hair. Donating to the children kind of hair.

So really, would throwing One interception been too much to ask? You nearly did several times. Green Bay barely allowed you to touch the ball.
And still...
You actually continued to set records for consecutive games without an interception.
Super Awesome for you.
Because your life needed to really keep on keepin on, getting better.

And we certainly did not need a new TV or Toilet.
I mean who cares about $750, right Tom Brady?

Coach lost his Fantasy League by 1 point.
Continuing his life long-running streak of being
'The Greatest Guy to almost finish anything Big'.


Unknown said...

Dear Tru Stories: OMG! Quit talking about needing a new toilet. A new toilet will not fix the problem in that back bathroom. Get a plumber!

Tru Stories said...

Dear Page Turner:
Please, never use my comment section to type "OMG" ever again.
Also, I am aware I need a Plumber AND a new toilet.
Coach is 'working on' both.

The Mrs. said...

I can not support this post in any way. First, Tom Brady is on my top five. Meaning, if he and Giselle should ever part ways and The General met an untimely demise, Tom and I are totally allowed to hook up. I hope he's not shocked by my lack of post childbearing bounceback. Secondly, as my leading QB, I need Tom to continue on his hot streak. He's brought me to the playoffs, and although we don't play for money I FOR SURE play for pride (especially when it means beating my brothers and a bunch of BOYS).

Sorry about your loss, Coach. Hit me up if you need any drafting tips next fall.

Tru Stories said...

Way to Rub Salt in the wound. Not only does Tom Brady have ALL of the above listed...
The Mrs. ALSO loves him more than Coach. Sad...

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you people?! Tom Brady IS a plumber, I lettered the side of his truck....Sportshol

Unknown said...

That Knowithol is irony!

Tru Stories said...

Welcome Back, Warhol.
Welcome Back...
You've been missed.

Munchkin said...

do you purposely address blog letters to celebrities in an increased attempt to get a book and or movie deal?

be honest...

Tru Stories said...

Somehow, I doubt bashing Tom Brady's annoyingawesomeness... is going to get me a movie deal.