Your wife loves you so much....she begged people to make fun of you....

Friday, we had a bad day. Bad. Issues with the kids, the pets, nothing going right...just bad.
On top of that, we had one heck of a perfectly planned party, to attend that evening and our bad day could not get in the way.
While frantically getting ready, I decided...I was going to have a great night. Bad day and all... I was going to have fun. Not just fun but FUN!
And...I...did.
Friday night, was a surprise party for The Commissioner's 30th birthday (which is actually today.) His wife, Jackie, began painstakingly planning every detail months ago.
It began with a surprise limo bus, then clues leading to each sibling and friend, which ended in a clue to a huge party.
And wouldn't that be enough?
Not for this guy.
One hour in... Jackie opened a Roast.
I'm sure many of you shudder at the thought but in this family (and I don't really know what this has to say about the couple that raised them) these siblings can not only make a great joke... they can take one.
A very impressive, character trait.

(The Commish and his wife)


As his birthday post, I will print my Roast to the Commissioner. I would love to print ALL of them. If you think mine is cute...this isn't even half of the funny that took place that night.
(I apologize for any typos/grammatical errors, I typed it with the idea of how I would like to present it...dramatic pauses and all! Names and details, have been changed.)

The Commissioner's 30th Birthday Roast by Me.

I had trouble working on this. Which was even a surprise to me. I am certainly very capable of making jokes at The Commissioner’s expense and yet I was not comfortable finding my groove.

I’ll open with a little emotion… and thank you once again for your part in my history. If I had taken your advice and steered far clear of the man passed out on your couch… then I wouldn’t to be here tonight. Well, I would still be here…but I would just be your cousin and not your sister-in law.

I realized that any joke for The Commish is really a joke on me, considering the younger, very similar Brother, is my husband. Now, I am extremely comfortable making fun of Coach…so I may as well throw a few jokes at both of them.

Let’s just immediately address the hairline…. Though, that has recently worked to their benefit… I’m pretty sure; it was the key element for acceptance into the over 30 basketball league. And since I am at least a decade older than both of them…I don’t mind how they have aged.

I could mention that neither is much taller than an average woman… at least from where I am standing.

There’s the fact that they are brothers and cousins… a joke that never gets old for The Commish, though sometimes the joke is really on Jackie and I. Especially, when we are the only two houses in town with a Busch Lite box decorating our front porch, garbage cans that never make it to the curb and a steady stream of pregnancy announcements, out the door. Maybe, a little less Busch Lite, would solve that.

All three Brothers are instrumental in making Our Town a more beautiful place to live.

Warhol- beautifies the town... one bar wall painting at a time.
Coach- one hair cut at a time
And The Commish- one string of Christmas lights on Pine Cone path, at a time.
What would this town do, without their Impact?

Most would consider The Commish, the responsible brother. Sitting back with his great job, riding around in his Big Man truck, pulling up to his new house, buying new flashy golf carts on a whim… and if you make the mistake of asking him…he will happily list his investments and IRA accounts.
Though I am going to predict, ten years from now… when Eleven frantically calls home, to tattle on Tink, who just got herself and Twelve arrested (for at least the first time)…. Coach will be able to round up a couple grand in cash for bail money much faster. Just by running out to his truck or digging under the garage…where ever he is safely keeping it.

That all said, I would love to Toast this man, whom I adore.
Who will play the Imperial March on the drive to a Star Wars movie.
Who will eat dog food on a dare.
And who is dorky enough to be available for a quick phone call to discuss The DaVinci Code. (cuz we all know my husband can barely read.)
If not for The Commish, we may actually be allowed to shop at Sears, or Leap Frog or use any phone, electric or cable service we choose. Without needing to change our last name.
Screw the Mayan calendar….I think we should party like tonight may be the end of the world…it seems pretty clear to me, hell has frozen over….
Jackie has had more to drink than Coach (and that will never happen again)….
SB is in a bar, SOBER, married AND pregnant….(and it all happened in that order.)
and that little wrasler I first met 15 years ago, has turned into a 30 year old Democrat, dressed in a dinner jacket.
Happy Birthday Commissioner.

End Roast.

(The Commish and just one of his beautiful sisters)

The party was awesome. My face hurt from all of the laughing. We know some VERY funny people. I wish I could provide more pictures....but I did not even take my camera out until well after midnight. (which is why my normally, beautiful family may look a little blurry.) But the evening was 'just that bleepin fun'.
Job well done, Jackie.




PS- Commissioner, Jackie turns 30 this summer. She gave you a hard act to follow.