Finally, to my mother.
Obviously, the High of the past year was the impromtu trip to Savannah, Georgia. Sure.. it was totally nuts, taking 5 children and shoving them into a van, with absolutely no planning or regard for our peace of mind... but it was so amazing to watch all five run towards the ocean. Squealing in disbelief.
As a mother and daughter, the best part of our week, was the laughing. Joking during Traffic Jam from He!! 2012. The sarcasm that kept us in great spirits. The trip was stocked full of unimaginable memories. Definitely, the High.
But I'm writing a post, dedicated to my mother, on Mother's Day. And this year, the most impressive thing about my mother... was her love, for her child.
It is 'easy' to love a healthy, beautiful child. ('easy' as mothering can be) But the test of a Tru mother, an exceptional mother... is to love a child, at his very worst. As Joel's schizophrenia progressed and became unbearably awful, as our hearts broke, our thoughts turned for the dark, as I began to silently plead for God to release him from this world and the one within his tortured mind... my mom fought, for her baby boy.
She spent SO MANY countless hours on the phone, calling doctors, nurses, aids, organizations etc. Fighting for his rights. Begging for someone to help him. She drove countless hours, to visit for even a matter of minutes. Often times, to hear him argue or blame her, or to listen to him plead to let him come home. She never gave up on him.
Even when her friends stopped supporting.
When her family stopped calling.
When it became unbearably embarrassing.
Joel was her child. Her baby.
He is a shell of what she had once created. A physical reminder of the dreams, dreamt for her only son. He is difficult. He is never going to really be better. He is honestly, one of the worst nightmares you could never hope to imagine for your baby.
And Still. She will always love him.
To me: this makes her amazing.
Mom- You have been an inspiration. I can't imagine, I will ever forget or forgive the people who failed to understand what you were living with. How any person, could not see how incredibly brave you were, totally astounds me.
Years ago: I gave my Dad a typically cheesy plaque for Father's Day, which read: Anyone can be a Father but it takes Someone Special to be a Daddy.
Now, I fully understand that nearly any woman can find the Joys of Motherhood. But to be able to find the Pure Love of Motherhood, lost within the pain, anguish and ugly... makes a woman more than a Mother. More than a Mommy. It makes that woman: My Hero.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
You deserved so much more.
All my love-
Your incredibly proud daughter and friend.