Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day: The Last Part


Finally, to my mother.
Obviously, the High of the past year was the impromtu trip to Savannah, Georgia.  Sure.. it was totally nuts, taking 5 children and shoving them into a van, with absolutely no planning or regard for our peace of mind... but it was so amazing to watch all five run towards the ocean.  Squealing in disbelief.
As a mother and daughter, the best part of our week, was the laughing.  Joking during Traffic Jam from He!! 2012.  The sarcasm that kept us in great spirits.  The trip was stocked full of unimaginable memories.  Definitely, the High.

But I'm writing a post, dedicated to my mother, on Mother's Day.  And this year, the most impressive thing about my mother... was her love, for her child.

It is 'easy' to love a healthy, beautiful child.  ('easy' as mothering can be) But the test of a Tru mother, an exceptional mother... is to love a child, at his very worst.  As Joel's schizophrenia progressed and became unbearably awful, as our hearts broke, our thoughts turned for the dark, as I began to silently plead for God to release him from this world and the one within his tortured mind... my mom fought, for her baby boy.
She spent SO MANY countless hours on the phone, calling doctors, nurses, aids, organizations etc.  Fighting for his rights.  Begging for someone to help him.  She drove countless hours, to visit for even a matter of minutes. Often times, to hear him argue or blame her, or to listen to him plead to let him come home.  She never gave up on him.
Even when her friends stopped supporting.
When her family stopped calling.
When it became unbearably embarrassing.
Joel was her child.  Her baby. 
He is a shell of what she had once created.  A physical reminder of the dreams, dreamt for her only son.  He is difficult.  He is never going to really be better.  He is honestly, one of the worst nightmares you could never hope to imagine for your baby.
And Still. She will always love him.
To me: this makes her amazing.
Mom- You have been an inspiration.  I can't imagine, I will ever forget or forgive the people who failed to understand what you were living with.  How any person, could not see how incredibly brave you were, totally astounds me.

Years ago: I gave my Dad a typically cheesy plaque for Father's Day, which read: Anyone can be a Father but it takes Someone Special to be a Daddy.

Now, I fully understand that nearly any woman can find the Joys of Motherhood.  But to be able to find the Pure Love of Motherhood, lost within the pain, anguish and ugly... makes a woman more than a Mother.  More than a Mommy.  It makes that woman: My Hero.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
You deserved so much more.
All my love-
Your incredibly proud daughter and friend.

10 comments:

Coach said...

Amazing.

The Page Turner said...

Wow! That is a tear jerker! Thank you for those amazing words. I stumble along doing the best I can in a terrible situation. I have made many mistakes along the way. Sadly, I will always feel like I have failed unless I find a safe place where he can be happy or a cure. Neither are very attainable. The upside is I have a daughter that makes me proud and I can count as a friend. Love you more!

Flag Girl said...

Holla Back to that! Be Proud of yourself...

Anonymous said...

Grammy, you are awesome! I believe the Lord does not give you any more than you can handle. He knows you are a strong woman. When I look at you, I only see admiration, strength, and unconditional love. Again, You Are Awesome! One who has admired you ever since we met 6 years ago. Gramma G

The Page Turner said...

Thank you. Gramma G to gain the admiration from someone that has raised 5 amazing children is quite a compliment. It is not the first time I say this and sure won't be the last; I feel blessed that my daughter is a part of your wonderful family.
Thank you for you kind words.

Flag Girl said...

We really are amazing.......

The Page Turner said...

Amazing might have been too much. Some of Gramma's kids are just "ok." I was being polite.

The Mrs. said...

Happy (belated) Mother's Day to you, Page Turner. You are an perfect example of what it means to be a "warrior mom". The fierce love and dedication that you demonstrate in caring for your children is inspiring.

This was a beautiful tribute, Tru Stories.

Anonymous said...

What a great tribute!....loss of words -amazinghol

Munchkin said...

Page Turner is funny in her third comment.