Sunday, April 17, 2011

Coach walks in...

as I am watching Oprah Behind the Scenes.
I pause the show and dramatically deep sigh.
Coach ignores me. I deep sigh again.

Coach: Yeeessss....??

Me: It's not gonna happen, is it? I'm probably not gonna see The Oprah Show.

Coach (shoulder shrug): Doesn't look like it.

Me: There's only like 20 shows left. That's maybe only 2500 seats left to fill.

Coach (lifting my spirits): And how many thousands of people, like you, are trying to get those seats?

Me: Too many... What's going to happen to me? What will I dream for next? Except for my dumb dreams for my stupid children... what dreams will I have left? I'm not going to Bucket List a stupid marathon race, that's for shiz. I guess, I still have Paris. Except, I am probably not going to Paris either. Am I??

Coach (still lifting spirits): Probably not.

Me: So then... THIS is it? (looking around me.)
This is my dreams realized?

Coach (shoulder shrug): Yep. I guess so.

Me: I didn't marry very well, did I?

Coach: Nope.

Me (lots of deep sighing): Are you just waiting to tell me I got Oprah tickets, on our Anniversary? Tell me sooner than later, because I need to shop.

Coach: Ok... but I'm probably not getting you that.

Me: Tickets to Paris then?

Coach: Isn't this the wood anniversary? (giggle) Besides, didn't you want to go BEFORE you turned 40? We have time.

Me: That was my dream. But dreams shatter.

Coach (takes out a calculator): How about before you are 50, instead?

Me: I'll be ugly then. Ugly people can't go to Paris.

Coach: Welp... I don't know what to tell you.

Me: Great pep-talk. Thanks.

Side Note-
Oprah, I have NOT given up all hope.
But I am starting to get very nervous.


Unknown said...

I had the same shattered dream conversation with myself on Saturday when I was watching my week of Oprah. The count down has begun. Count down to empty lives without dreams. It was going to be our greatest Mother-Daughter moment.
We still have our McCartney concert.
P.S. - Is that the type of pep talks Coach gives his teams? Give up, you'll never win. Might as well quit at half time.

Flag Girl said...

Coach is funny......I like him

Chili said...

When are you gonna turn on this woman for all the snubs?????
I guess the French Quarter is as close as your gonna get!

Unknown said...

Dear Flag Girl: Please tell Chili to keep his negative Oprah vibes off the blogs. We do not have much time left.
Still loving me some Oprah,