My Husband is 12 yrs old.

In an effort to stay cool, we are keeping the kids indoors, a bit more than I would like. Yesterday, in a moment of brilliance, Coach dug out an original Nintendo (you know, all the way from the 1980's!!) and set it up in the Kid's bedroom.
The Kid popped in the Original Mario Bros and started in... he was amused but repeatedly mentioned how 'old' the game was.



Later, after a Double Header Softball Game, the Coach returned home (After hours of Coach Time) and promised to help me get the kids into bed.

10:35pm: Coach starts by offering to get The Kid off to bed... with just one game of Mario.

10:50pm: I walk in, while dealing with a tired and bratty Coco.... I accidentally start watching the game. I am amazed that I can immediately remember where each mushroom or jewel is hidden in the bricks. I resist the urge to shout-out the hidden points to The Kid. I calmly mention to my mesmerized husband, "Coach... really, it is time for everyone to go to sleep.."

10:58pm: I stroll back in... Coach is STILL playing and smearing The Kid. Coach is bouncing around hidden worlds, The Kid has never heard of. I tell a sweet story, of how Grammy was a Mario FuReeaKK!! (I would find her hiding in a dark room, barely eating, in her 'winter sweater' playing til her hands were numb.) The Kid hysterically laughs, as if this Grammy story, is the best he has ever heard.
Coach is STILL playing like a Mad Man. I give him 'the look' he purposely jumps Mario to his death, to give The Kid a turn. (Coach still has 3 lives left.) Though he acts, as if he has literally 'died for me..'

11:10pm: I re-enter the room. I catch myself, nearly yelling at The Kid, for not knowing how to jump all the way to the TOP of the flag. I AGAIN remind Coach, it is time for 'the children' to go to bed!

11:18pm: I walk back in and say "Seriously, boys. It is time for bed. You two need to turn off the video game and listen to your mother. NOW." They both say, "Ok... Mom." without turning to look towards me. But continue to play.

11:28pm: I enter for the last time. Coach is STILL playing. I say, "Not cute anymore. Coach, grow up and turn off the game. Let's just pretend to show some maturity. I'm not playin."

11:31pm: Finally. Game Over.
At least until tonight.

Stay Classy... San Diego.

On the heels of our fancy, first row dugout seats at a Cubs game, with private parking, celebrities and Ditta-style strolls along the beach... we reluctantly decided to slum-it on the Annual "We are the three best friends, that anyone can have...." Cubs Game Day.
First we parked our own car and trekked halfway across Chicago, for a little pre-game warm up and picture taking. Especially the "Three Best Friends".
CW, Coach and CToddizzle.

Now, CW may just actually be my cousin and Coach is my husband, but I pretty much get invited as a tag-along... as does CTodd's Husband. CW is granted an extra ticket, which she wasted on some Old Creepy Loser last year and this year gifted to a girl friend.
To insure our Guest status isn't revoked like that creepy guy, I volunteered to be the DD and CT's husband apparently decided to take his Funny A Game.
I even managed to pull my hair from the permanent summer pony-tail, in an effort to make my husband proud to take a pic with me. Obviously, from his pained smile, the pony must not be my only problem.



CTodd and The Husband (he's only warming up...)

So... for awhile we actually went to the game. We tried to make a small effort to watch the action but with the 13 to 3 Cubs loss. The (always losing) game is really becoming secondary to our fun.
The fan next to CW, was literally bored to sleep.
Which helped amuse us for a bit.





After the 8th or 9th Marlin home run...
We headed to The Stretch.
An establishment with an especially kind owner, super cool T-shirts and party hardy dance tunes. Just ask Toula and (The Hair) aggressively violating her space.



The crowd was jumpin and Tre was holding court.



Remember that picture with my husband, a minute ago? Where is he pained to stand close to me?? Per usual, he saved his cuteness for his CTodd pic. Must have been because her legs looked phenomenal.

After Coach and CT's husband finished this super deep talk about politics, or weather patterns, or boxes... AND our table received it's 12th tray... I kindly mentioned it was probably time to head home. Coach patted CT's husband on his back again and we left.

While trekking it BACK across Chicago, CTodd politely asked (told us to cross the street RIGHT NOW!) if anyone was hungry for a bite of McDonalds.



Afterwards, we slowly walked another 17 blocks to our van. (It took a little longer, as CT's Husband's one leg had more to drink than another). I held a brief informative seminar to ensure everyone could quickly and appropriately open their window (just in case!) and I began the drive home.

The Husband continued to be hilarious. CW caught a mini nap. Coach and CTodd played a little game, I privately labeled "Who can talk more trash than the Other, about various people or how much they want to bite the cheeks off their youngest child."
At one point I quietly muttered to Coach,
"I am starting to hate the sound of your voice...."
CTodd replied, "Not me...! Go on, keep talking!"

Maybe that is why he smiles around her more....

In Conclusion:
Awesome day.
Little less Class but several belly bending laughs and some killer one-liners. Sign us up for next year! (well, I mean... sign Coach up. Hopefully he takes me with.)

Slam Dunk Contest 2011

Per our usual tradition, the men performed their annual slam dunk contest. Always a crowd pleaser. This year, we had our most contestants ever and were immediately impressed by the practice round. Warhol suggested a 'Telephone Game' style voting format, as to not hurt any feelings. The judges panel, seriously appreciated the new approach.
And before Munchkin asks:
Yes, of course the hoop is regulation.

Now....
I snapped approximately 68 pictures of this event. I carefully selected the clearest, most interesting photo for each participant. If the men do not like their action shot, my excuse is as follows....

A.) With your swift speed and insane power, while aggressively charging the hoop, it is difficult to capture your cheetah-like blur...

B.) Listen... I am working with what you gave me.
I did the best I could.







Sadly, the above three (Warhol, Clark and The Commissioner) were eliminated in the first round.





Chili and One were the next to fall.
(Literally. Which still worked in Chili's favor... as Flag Girl loves a good fall.)

Leaving Three and Coach to battle it out in the finals. Each was given 3 attempts to deliver their best dunk.
After a VERY intense round of telephone voting....



Our winner of the 2011 Slam Dunk contest and the man happy to regain his title (after a tough loss last year)... Coach.



Now, you may wonder what's the point??! Why would anyone compete against Coach, in HIS sport?? Well... if there was ever the chance to beat this kid in basketball... it's gonna be in a dunk contest. And if the others start to feel annoyed about Coach winning, well they can always take Coach golfing. Rumour has it, that makes the rest look and feel like Super-stars.

My...My... what Beautiful Grand-Children you Have!

It has been mentioned, a time or two, that the gene pool in this family, runs pretty cute. Beyond regular cuteness. And it really never hurts, to provide the world, with a little more photographic evidence....























My favorite part of the above picture, is not Nine's cute little tushie... but further in the background... the amazing, happy smile of Grandpa. This particular activity was "his idea and he really hoped it went well, so he could take the credit." (Never mind that Gramma actually ran about purchasing everything, including the candy, she placed inside.)

An observer may notice, sometime around the end of tomorrow's 'Slam Dunk Contest 2011' post, there are no photographs of the adult women of our family. Noooo... surprisingly, the men did not offer to take the children on a vacation and leave us to a hotel weekend, including pedicures and wine.
Our weekend temperatures hovered around 107 degrees (in the shade, in the evening) and it was quickly agreed, we would not document our adult lady faces as they slowly melted, for blog purposes.

Sure, yada yada... it may take pretty mothers, to create the above pretty children, all of THAT SAID:
A woman has a right to a little vanity... and after three days of swimsuits, s'mores and sticky sweat...
we have officially invoked that right.

Shelbyville Family Trip 2011

We have just returned from our annual family summer trip. Our Fan Favorite Cousin Picture (not necessarily a favorite for the actual cousins taking the picture but a sure favorite of mine!!)... continues to grow and change. We were missing Cousin Two (due to work obligations) and we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Cousin Fourteen (in a matter of weeks).... but thus far: It's a pretty adorable group.

Stay Tuned for the following Posts:

"My... What beautiful Grand-children you Have!"

and

"Slam Dunk Contest 2011"

Zach Galifianakis....

had a few very funny quotes in a recent issue of Rolling Stone. I thought I would happily share and thankfully refresh the screen away from my disgusting blister (which actually scared the woman performing my pedicure this evening. My apologies.)

Therefore...
Quotes from Zach G.
(the chubby guy from The Hangover)

-"At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?"

-"I was just reading on CNN.com that the kid that had sex with his teacher died today, from high fiving."

-"My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told him that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings."


-"It took me the longest time to realize I was a procrastinator."

-"I have a lot of growing up to do... I realized that the other day, in my fort."

-"My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying
“you go girl” to myself."

-"This country is dumb, with all this crap going on, there should be a revolution happening. I would lead it but I just bought a hammock."

Water Park.

Grammy had a vacation day and declared we needed to visit a water park. Typically, my body and soul are infinitely more comfortable in a pool than on a beach... but my new friend "Park 2 Park Blister" was not excited about five hours walking around a giant pool. Talk about 'feeling the burn'.

Apologies for the graphic pic, if you may be snacking while blog surfing. Now, if you are someone with a creepy foot fetish, today is your day! Please do not bother saving 'Tru Stories' to your Favorites. I can promise this will be my only Foot Shot.

Extreme blister pain aside...
The kids loved the water park.
Though, I was again reminded, my children know how to 'Save Their Drama for Their Momma'.







Drama for Momma Part One:
While Grammy and The Kid were water sliding...
In a 3 minute span, my daughter suffered a near-violent gagging/puke after a accidental gulp, while the other may have suffered an unfortunate wet-that's not just a fart- incident, resulting in an emergency run to the bathroom and swim suit clean-out in the shower. To save their dignity (what's left of it) I will not divulge which suffered what.



(This painfully uncomfortable pic, perfectly captures their reluctant brother/sister relationship.)



Drama for Momma Part Two:
Sometime around the 'starting to wear contact lens' portion of my life, I became OveR water slides. The Kid convinced me to join him for Just One double tube slide. We (Me, The Kid and Our friend the blister) hiked up the staircase and patiently waited in line, only to have the Break Whistle sound as we were 2 riders back. The 'too serious for their jobs' lifeguards attempted to insist ALL children must leave the platform for 15 minutes, even those in-line. Me, my glare and my blister.... insisted that was 'unnecessary' and The Kid and I remained off to the side and waited.
While they sent several adults, quickly down the 3 slides... The Kid informed (bored) me about various crop formations and insects...etc. As he dramatically told me facts, an Emergency sound alarmed the platform and immediately shut down ALL water to the slides. Frantically, the lifeguards raced around, yelling and desperately trying to discover what happened and if the current 3 riders were skidding down a dry slide.
The Kid and I casually watched the excitement.... until one lifeguard realized, in a moment of dramatic story telling, The Kid had unknowingly bumped the Emergency Off Button, with his elbow.
Of course. Only my child could accidentally shut down a water park, while enthusiastically describing the life cycle of an insect. Thankfully, the teenage male life guard found this completely hilarious... and we were not thrown out of the park. Now... if he had discovered the 'wet fart fiasco'... that could have been another story all together.

Water Park with Grammy.... Check.
Summer of Fun, still in progress.

Nope. Still NOT a Runner.

We've been a bit busy lately and it is showing on this blog. I'll try to recap the weekend.
Obviously, we love to kick off our Nation's Independence, with a quick little 5Mile jog. What better way to celebrate the advancement of America, than to wake-up at 5:12am, drive 50 miles south to then run an additional five miles.
The entire process became even more confusing (panic attack inducing) as we slowly received word, fellow runners began dropping like flies. One after another past runners, excused themselves. Until the event only left... Me, Coach, Doc and Clark.
Obviously. Why would you not, include me in a group with three life-long- competitive- dedicated to the burn- athletes such as those three. Makes perfect sense.

I felt a teeny bit more confident, as the temperature was at least 12 degrees cooler than last year. (Known as, the 4th of July spent on the surface of the Sun.) We had also learned the course had changed. The Mrs. (aka A Quitter) enthusiastically texted me how this was 'Great!' news for me. And I would 'own' the new route. Apparently, we 'mis-remembered' the town where I spent my first 22 years of life... is actually built on a small Mountain range. The participants unanimously agreed the new course was possibly more scenic but definitely more difficult.

Around Mile 2, I developed the most awful blister (must-of been because I was pounding the pavement like a maniac). If I had recognized even one spectator, I would have quit in a heartbeat.
Around Mile 3, I had an epiphany....
"I am not a Runner." Yes, I have known this fact for some time, yet it became painfully- smack up the side of my head- clear, at that moment. I am many things but I am NOT a runner. Sure... I may continue to enter a few events, in an effort to improve my Heart/Health/Bottom size... but I really, am NEVER gonna become a Runner. Nope, not in my cards.

I shaved 2 minutes off my official time from last year (3 minutes if you count the distance I began WAY behind the Start Line.) And yes, I AM counting that!



In shocking news... I high-fived the mascot, at the finish line. No... it was not the Runner's- High delusion, it was the "Thank Cripes, this is FINALLY over- High."
Another great Fourth, Clark and Doc. But seriously, next year, couldn't we just have a BBQ and maybe a little Frisbee???