Friday, May 24, 2013

A Sorta R-rated Roast

You know how you hear stories about a Groom being taken on stage at a strip club, during his bachelor party and the strippers will knock him around... spank him, whip him, humiliate him. I don't really understand the logic behind it.
Poor Warhol has been getting a small slice of this over the last two weeks, from his siblings.  And here are two examples:
(PS- You're welcome Blog World)
#1 Mother's Day.
We were all separated, living our own lives, when Commish sent out a mass text, attached to a photograph. (which you HAVE to understand was taken by Warhol's grand-mother, when he was 16).  Commish added a caption, underneath....

 (Man, I love Summer!!)
Sweetbreads: In 2 weeks, that'll be alllllll mine.
Chili D: I've totally lost interest in Summer!
... Nice AJ's tho.
Commish: Are AJ's really short, tight shorts?
Chili D: No, them are called ball huggers.  I was referring to the Air Jordans.
Warhol: Xxx-Bleepit!!!!
Me: This text thread is by far the best part of my Mother's Day.
Warhol: My Mother's Day is ruined.
Chili D: I'm seriously considering making this pic the Linds and Chad Facebook cover.
Warhol: That made my stomach hurt.
Me: I can't wait until Commish projects it across the entire ceiling of the wedding reception tent.
Warhol: Little did I know.. Deep down in my heart, there was a car seat with Sweetbread's name on it..
Sweetbreads: Ohhhh so wrong.  But hilarious.
Commish: 'Like' every comment on this thread.
Flag Girl: I want to save this thread in archives.
Me: Is 'archives' code for the blog??
Warhol: Ugh....
(Sorry Warhol, but 'Ugh' sounded like a Yes to me!)
#2 The Bachelorette Party.
One of the clues on the Scavenger Hunt, was to locate a stranger that looks like Warhol and take his picture.  Our group accomplished this clue, probably 5 hours after we started drinking....
This guy... was my pick:

Flag Girl got a picture with her pick...

This man, in the red shirt, was Doc's pick..

With each stranger picked and each picture taken, we laughed harder and harder... Kinda like this:

So there you have it.
Obviously, poor Warhol totally needs to marry into a new family.  Because his siblings (and spouses) are really a bunch of Bxtches.


The Mrs. said...

Groomhol's car seat comment wins and will never be beaten. Also, I believe there's an almost identical picture of The General posing by his first car. I'll see what I can do about locating it.

As for finding Groomhol's twin in Wrigleyville, I believe you guys might have been wearing some very warped beer goggles that day. Yikes.

Tru Stories said...

I do feel a little guilty for posting all this...
But a Blogger has to keep her public happy.
And all that, is gonna make a lot of people very happy!

Hopefully, Warhol is still my friend.

Munchkin said...

I'm glad to see it's not just this branch of the family... sorry Warhol.

I used to be a Hooker said...

Oh god. That was awesome. Remember when you asked what we want to read in the blog? This is perfect. Old dudes rock, groomhol.

Anonymous said...

I will re create the photo, I think I still have the shorts in my memory box.