Friday, December 2, 2011

A Birthday Challenge.

Today The Mrs turns 34. She wrote a super lame post, about how pathetic her life is now. (seriously, just be glad she even still posts...) It read, like this:
"I'm old and boring.. (yada)... I'm celebrating with my amazing children!... (who cares)... Wouldn't have it any other way... (pukes).. I'm going to Home Depot. (super lame)." .... Honestly, almost verbatim.

We owe Tru Stories, to the constant supportive encouragement (annoying pushing nagging) from Mrs, who believed Tink stories needed to 'get out there'.
As a result, I feel Mrs deserves to face the ugly truth, on her 34th birthday.

1. She claims she is boring:
I've seen her on a pole.

2. She claims she is so quiet, she only enjoys Holiday crafting and strolling Hobby Lobby:
She is a Warrior. Who runs for fun. And plays games like an ultra-competitive witch, able to curse your future grandchildren, with a quick sharp glare.

3. She claims to love the company of her children:
One time. We were invited on a Boat Trip (Just once. Only once. Eh.. Sweetbreads??) On the Trip, I heard Mrs shout: "I hate my children and am absolutely flourishing in a week-end away from those brats!"
Nearly a direct quote, though it was difficult to hear with Coach and I, spaztically and illegally jumping off the top deck. (I still jus aint eva gonna figure out why we's wasn't invited back...)

4. She claims she's a perfectly polite mother:
She wore stripper heels, to a family wedding.

5. She claims she'll fall asleep early:
Coach and I literally eye-rolled over The Mrs head, because she wouldn't get the bleep out of our home at like 2:35am...

6. Last, Mrs claims her and General have become an old, boring married couple:
I defy anyone, to witness a more romantic renewal of vows, than theirs as Mr and Mrs Frankenstein.

Therefore, Happy Birthday to a lady with some amazingly shiny, skinny and tan legs.
(FYI- I hate those a lil bit.)
My only birthday wish for you:

* You may remember, Coach celebrated my Birthday, by guest blogging a birthday post. Still unbeaten in Comments. Officially sparking a world-wide campaign (it COULD BE world-wide Haters!!) for him to guest blog on each of my birthdays. (Only 6 weeks away... Coach is already, randomly breaking into cold sweats and increasingly more intense panic attacks).

Soooo I was thinking. Wouldn't it be too sweet,
if General Guest Blogged for Mrs?
I DARE you. Actually, I double dog DARE you.

Yep. I JUST went there. BAM!
(The 'Bam' was obviously the sound of my defiantly awesome dare, exploding like an atom bomb of coolness, in General's face.)


The General said...


The General said...

I'm a lover not a writer.

Tru Stories said...

Remember when you didn't want to do the Warrior race... and then you tried it... and you loved every second of it?? Writing her post would sorta be like that.
Triple dog dare...

The Mrs. said...

The fact that he commented on my blog is a birthday gift of its own.

Thanks, Tru Stories. A few less references to poles and/or strippers would have been okay, but I loved it. Increased traffic today is just me rereading it over and over and over again.

Anonymous said...

Remember when the "General" fell off the porch and required stitches, laying blame on any scapegoat? Remember when we painted Tru Stories fence? ( I will refrain from further comment,where as if you were there you know! ). As tempting as it is please don't try to jump start your boring life with a new partner, cause when we all find out the Mrs. and the General are coming to the party.....we all smile a little bigger. - hol

Coach said...

Anyone remember "bunny rabbits"?

The General said...

Hey! This post was supposed to be about me!

(But seriously, that night was comedy gold.)

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday Mrs.

Tru Stories said...

Totally typical:
The men in Coach's family, have turned the comment section of The Mrs birthday post, into their favorite game "Remember how Us Guys are always Super Funny."

Munchkin said...

This post is my favorite thing ever

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, The Mrs', You are not boring and I haven't seen you on the pole! Have a good one. Gramma G

ct said...

happy late birthday mrs!!!