Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I Heart Travel Sized Shampoos.

Do you know what is a Super Fantastical Way to Spend an entire Tuesday?
Packing 2 Adults, an 8 year old, a 3 year old and a 15 mo old (requiring diapers and Wet Wipes) for a minimum 6 day vacation?!
Awesome.
I Love it!
Add in the significant increase in altitude.
Dramatic Drop in Night-time temperatures.
Drag out Hand Me Down Bins and Clearance Bought clothes for Fall Season.
Try jeans on children.
Purchase new jeans after Son has grown 14 inches.
Account for the 1 night spent at a Wedding.
Purchase super cute wedding attire for 5.
Plan for Mountain Hiking (old tennis shoes).
Dinners and Lunches out (new tennis shoes).
Swimming Pool accessories.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Draft Blueprint to Super Smash suitcases, backpacks, Diaper Bags, Shoes, mini-DVD players, blankies and so on and so on...into the trunk of a car...
Because. We. Are. Driving.
Across the country.
Rivers. Lakes. Plains. Mountains.
America the Beautiful, here we come.
Cartwheel and Flips for quality famdamly time.

Silent Blog Stalkers Beware.
We have a Big Scary Man, sitting our locked Fortress.

Dear Big Scary Man-

If you are wondering our home and think....

Did she pretty much Give Up cleaning?
Answer: Ummm, Yep.

Does she grocery shop, Like....at all?
Answer: Ummm, Nope.

Can I both potty and shower in the same bathroom?
Answer: No. We ain't Fancy Rich People!
Plan accordingly.


Would she mind if I sleep, sweat and sloth off dead skin in her bedding?
Answer: Hell to the yes.

If I dirty her bedding and choose to Wash them and notice it smells like a Dead Animal is rotting in the Dryer?
Answer: Yes. I actually think one is. We tried to locate the stank and can't. Mark it on Coach's list.

Last, if you ponder the question that possibly the house is slowly falling apart one project at a time, crumbling down around our children and rotting from the crawl space up .... and yet, we have irresponsibly decided our time and/or money is best spent Frolicking in the Mountain Meadows of Colorado...?
Answer: Ummm, Yep. We are not the Brightest Light bulbs in the Box.

Scary Man:
If you are reading this post and are contemplating backing-out due to a Fake Emergency ...
You are Family and you already agreed.
Sucka.

3 comments:

The Page Turner said...

Wow, I feel sorry for your house sitter. Our sitters get food prepared, Italian beef, pork chops, all kinds of good things to eat. Our house sitters get to play with our delightful 3 dogs and my killer cat. Bet your house sitter is jealous!!! Our house sitters get paid. Course they may have to deal with one mentally ill son. Did I mention payment?

Stephanie said...

Good Luck on the family trip, don't forget the earplugs to tune out some winers by the end of the trip. Bring us back some cooler weather with you!

Anonymous said...

Don't let Tru Stories fool you..house clean, 2 shower heads in the bathroom, air conditioning in 1/7th of the house, 30 pak in the fridge and if you hold the door open for a second the cat leaves for the weekend....I think I'll be fine. -why the emphasis on sweating?