(All dialog taking place in the captions, are direct unaltered quotes from inside Coach's head.)
(I am SO HAPPY right now. Angie is the cutest dance partner EVA. This is the most fun of my LIFE!!)
(Look at all the lady friends I have. We love to hug each other. We are the three best friends that anyone could have. I love Smiling.)
(I'm even super cute when I take pics with my sista. I don't even mean to be this cute and still I'm so handsome, I can't turn it off.)
(I'm not sure I even know who these ladies are... and yet I am totally gorgous! They can not keep their hands off of me. I'm irressitable.)
(Look at me with Jill. I am practically doing a full backbend so we can shoot this cute picture together. I can't get my face close enough to her. She's super lucky to be so near my handsomeness.)
(Again... my besties. It's like my smile could not be bigger. I am REALLY smiling because I am SOO happy to not stand next to be dweebie wife.)
(Look how cute me and Sweetbreads are... I am totally adorable in yellow. I should wear more pastels... they just make me even sweeter.)
(Again.. sooooo cute with my sistas. Could our eyes be more beautiful?? My eyes are so blue, it's like they were made to be photographed. Thanks mommy for my awesome blue as the sky eyes.)
Driving my point home:
(Does this smile look real? Does it even look like I am happy about my wedding annv? Am I showing my teeth? Is this pic over yet?)
(Why is she hugging me? My face sorta hurts. I wish she wasn't so close...)
(Concentrate on smiling... try to smile... try to look normal... is this smile weird? Are my shoulders too high? What's happening..?)
(Ummmm.... I'm bored.)
(Maybe if I try to look like a pirate, that will look better? And if I smash her face extra hard, she might think I like her...)
(What?? I have to squeeze next to her back? My body is weird. I don't know what to do with my arms.... is it normal for a smile to actually physically hurt a person's face?? I totally wish I was dancing with Angie instead of sitting next to my lame family.)
And... so there you have it.
You heard the quotes directly from the horse's mouth.
He's a butt.
He's a butt.
Additional Note: I only save the Good digital pictures to my computer... so the above pics of Coach and I are considered his Good pictures. Just sayin...