Monday, February 14, 2011

My Country Valentine.

Valentine's week coincides with the start of our relationship. Therefore, we always celebrate both events by doing, pretty much next to nothing.
Today, I will honor one more year into our relationship by high-lighting how little my Country Valentine has grown. (No, that is not a short joke! Jerks.)
As often quoted, by The Mrs. and I....
"You can take the boy out of the country but you...."

***Side Note: Our men ARE NOT 'Hank Williams/Belt Buckle/Shined Cowboy Boots' kind of Country Boys. They are Farm Boys. Big Diff. Seriously.***

Livin In-Town Ain't Gonna Phase This Boy:

1. Coach doesn't Get Curtains. Apparently, when the only person who may ever peer into your window, is your Grandmother, living a mile away... you feel no reason to hide your personal business. Therefore, each evening I am not home, please feel free to drive past and stare directly into every open window, showcasing our messy home and ignored children.

2. Garbage Day! Each Tuesday evening (for YEARS) he is surprised by the idea that a State Funded organization of sanitary workers will drive to your home and pick up/cart away your garbage. Even more surprising... you have to actually carry those cans to the curb before Wednesday morning and then (for all that is Good and Holy) carry those bleepin cans back to our home side BEFORE the following Saturday.

3. The lawn. (Admittedly he has improved slightly.) He no longer believes the "Faster and Shorter the better' motto while mowing. For the first couple years, our poor lawn would stand barely 1/4 of an inch. Because obviously, if he cut it shorter, he would have more time to tend to the crops.
However, he is confused that people can see all the way to from the street to our porches. He often treats our porch as type of mudroom. Chilling a case of beer. Leaving the treasures he has pulled from other folk's garbage....

4. Oh... he picks stuff out of other people's garbage.

5. As previously mentioned, he treats our garage as an empty chicken coop.

6. He views poor weather as a dare from God.
If the weather man, threatens a possible severe thunderstorm/tornado/ice storm/blizzard....
Coach will immediately suggest calling a friend Just Down the Lane (6 miles outside of town) for a family game night. Proving to God, His mini natural disaster, can't hold Coach down.

7. He speaks in code. For example,
"This morning Dad called while on the Back 40."
What does that even mean? Is his Dad golfing or something??!

8. Last and most irritating. He is friendly. He waves at everyone! To imply his hand is up and open in a full cheerful wave is hilarious. He 1 finger flip/farm waves.. Thankfully, he taught the wave to both The Kid and Coco. In their absence, Tink and I spend hours pretending to not notice waves... all summer long.

But still, years later....
I'll take him as my Country Valentine.

(With that declaration, I fully accept, my 'Country Valentine' will not actually gift me flowers, candy or jewelry. Cuz out on the farm, Valentines aint a real holiday. It's not a real event, like say the Catholic Wake of a fella down the road's cousin from...)

15 comments:

The Page Turner said...

I'm sorry I cannot remember a thing I read after country boy. I am still picturing Coach in a big cowboy hat.

Coach said...

I was going to write a blog about how "city" my wife is, but I need a year to prepare for a guest blog spot, she will have to settle for a card. Happy Valentine's Day Tru Stories.

Anonymous said...

Gotta say...Coach rocks,and capturing him in 8 steps...rocks harder. -farmhol

Anonymous said...

Coach...you could call your blog..."Please remove my pellow case from the clothes line."

Doc said...

Happy Valentines Day/anniversary/ love day! I was busted out on #3 also. "Townies" are different breed!

Munchkin said...

hahaha pellow

The Mrs. said...

This post would go great with a glass of melk! Loved the line about what constitutes a "real event". So true!

Two signs that The General still is a little bit country:

1. He will say he's "going into town". Even though we live in town.

2. He'll sometimes refer to driveways as "lanes".

Two signs he's almost a completely converted Townie:

1. He obsesses over his lawn hard.

2. One day I witnessed him turn on his turn signal to turn into an actual lane (more specifically, the one leading up to his childhood home). I was thoroughly embarrassed for him.

Coach said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tru Stories said...

Weird...
I was not aware that Valentine's Day was also occasionally used as a substitute for Bash on Tru Stories' Speech Day. Funny.
How quicky ArsHol has forgotten Thursday....

The Mrs. said...

Coach's comment being deleted by the blog administrator? Hmmm...I sense someone might have suddenly started suffering from a headache on this day of love, if you catch my drift...

Flag Girl said...

I would not know where to start looking for dad in a 'back 40'.

Tru Stories said...

I accidentally Commented under Coach's name. Ever since he became a 'blogger' for my birthday... I can't keep track of when he is signed in for casual blog hopping.

The Page Turner said...

I must have missed his I love my mother in law, happy valentine's day comment on my blog.

Chili said...

Green Acres is the place for me!!!!

Stephanie said...

I hope you got your card signed for Valentines day, my dad never signs my mom's cards and it irks her. I haven't lived on a farm for almost 6 years and still want to call a driveway a lane, its something you just can't get over too easily. And that lawn mower is not a tractor because it looks big, it is just a big lawnmower.