Thursday, October 31, 2013

Maybe a little lip gloss wouldn't hurt anyone...

Sooo.. I was recently in a minor car accident.
I wasn't going to mention it because I try not to involve other people on the blog without their permission.  Everyone was fine, except (of course) other ridiculous drama ensued... the kind that only follows me around.  Again, I will not get into those details but I will provide this little nugget:

Immediately following the accident, I stopped on the side of a large church and the other driver could not see me.  We waved for a moment, before I parked in a safe spot to exchange info.  During that point he thought I had 'hit and run' from the scene. (which sounds exactly like me, because I love running...duh)

Long story short, the man ran into the police station to report that he had just been in an accident with a man, in a blue mini van.
So yes.  If you're keeping track, that is now TWICE someone has looked at my face and matter-of-factly called me a man. Two times. (you'll remember when Flag Girl's aunt stood inches away from me and called me her boyfriend.  Flattering but wrong.)
As you can imagine, as this info spreads like a thick black oil through the family, each member is more and more amused that I was again described as a man.  Even Gramma had a pretty good giggle over it.
And of course, there was a mass text message...

Uncle Jack:  Just got a disturbing message.  I was told that someone looking like a Conr boy was in a car accident and then left their kids in the car.  What the hell is that about?

The Commish: Who told you that?!

The Commish: oohhh. Classic!

Jackie: J (my name) may be able to explain that one.

Warhol: J looks like a boy. Was it her?

Uncle Jack: I got the message on my phone.

The Commish: Had she showered?  That would explain a lot.

Me (finally, I had been trying to ignore it all): Is this actually for real??

Uncle Jack: This is just what the message said.  I was just asking.

Me: Did they really say a boy?  Was the message from any one of my in-laws?

Uncle Jack: They said it looked like a boy but not for sure.  No it was not an in-law.

The Commish: This is by far my favorite mass text to date.  I don't care if this goes on all night!

Uncle Jack: Did anyone get hurt?  Is this supposed to be a joke?

Me: Hurt besides my pride?  Which is continuing to take blows?  Every one's fine.

The Commish: I hadn't heard of any of our MEN getting in an accident.  Don't worry.. you can read all about it in the police beat tomorrow.

1. Everyone's a bleepin comedian.
2. Any one else notice my husband's blatant and uncomfortable silence during the mass text?? 
3. I have GOT TO start wearing make-up during the middle of the week.
4. I should never leave my house.

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