I do NOT handle the pressure of other people's Big Events well. I would not call myself controlling, necessarily... but in my world of uncertainties (specifically health related) I am more comfortable when I feel in control of my emotions or schedules.
As a result, when I'm prepared, I'm never nervous.
Team dances... no prob (and NOT because I consider myself a great dancer). Speeches in large crowds, interviews?? Doesn't faze me. But I've noticed events which happen to those I care about... get me belly aching nervous. Friday, was no exception.
I've known Warhol was thinking of using the blog to help propose (and I was VERY flattered). I even tried to increase my post frequency, to see if anyone was still reading this thing. The plan was this:
Warhol delivered The Written Proposal to me. I typed it and saved the draft by 9:00am. He would contact me by 5:00pm to click 'Publish'. He'd casually lounge next to Sweetbreads... randomly click on the blog and then No Big Deal mention "Hey... Tru Stories wrote about Sweetbreads today... weird." As she read the blog, he would flash the ring.. etc. Tears, hugs, smiles "I love you .. nooo I love you"... Nothing to it.
I had no plans, whatsoever on Friday. Except to sit with this. It played a little less casually on my end:
By 10:00am: I had re-read and proofed the post a minimum of 67 times. Give or take a thousand. Each time I altered a font or spell checked, I would click the 'Save Button' .. which is located DIRECTLY next to the 'Publish Button'. My hand shook uncontrollably.
11:00am: The post was saved correctly, calmly waiting.. except I became convinced my laptop would be infected with a Terminator movie-like virus, would come to life and immediately publish the post, without my knowledge.. Sweetbreads would check the blog, Warhol would be at work, entire proposal destroyed by The Terminator Virus.
I texted as much to Flag Girl.
She responded "Do it... I'm bored."
3:00pm: My stomach began to ache. Coach's family are infamously unable to keep excited surprises. I was certain Warhol would text AT ANY MOMENT for me to click Publish. I became anxious. Afraid to be more than 2 ft away from my laptop.
4:00pm: Enter Flag Girl. 'Excited Surprises.. etc'. Flag Girl began texting "Just do it!" ... "How much longer??" ... "Does your phone read the same time as my phone??"
4:55pm: Warhol finally texts he's almost ready. He instructs me to click Publish at 5:10pm exactly. Over the next 15 minutes, Flag Girl, Coach, The Teacher and even The Kid (I HAD to tell someone!) were texting/calling me at a frenzied pace. "It's 5:04pm... now it's 5:06pm...etc." My hands were shaking, my adrenaline was peaked.
Warhol texted "I'm getting nervous"
I texted "My stomach has hurt for 2 hours."
5:10pm: The Kid screeches It's Time!!! I click Publish. A wash of nervous energy waves over me. I began to pace the house. No response from newly engaged couple for LIKE EVER!! Again, the above parties continually texted "Heard anything yet??" "Do we have an answer" SOMEONE texted she was "Balling" as she read the post. My mom is now texting.
FiNaLee!! Sweetbreads sent out "I said YES!"
Whew... by then, I was ready for a nap.
They are engaged. We are thrilled! The blog seriously appreciated the shout-out. Biggest Blog news in 3 years (except: probably Oprah... sorry Warhol.)
And don't feed us that cutsie Hollywood "We're just enjoying being engaged.." garbage.