1. The Stage: Best Eva for any awards show. It looked exactly like what Doc and I could have envisioned for our Relay Dance... if we had 12 million bucks (give or take) to decorate The Hall.
2. Speaking of Best Dress:
If I could have hired a designer to create a specific look for the Masquerade Ball, it would have been this-
Seriously, it's like this dress was MADE for my mask!! Except, it was made for her... because I'm a nobody.
3. Billy Crystal's Face:
Botox? Face lift? Microdermabrasion gone awry on an epic face-freezing level??
4. Hey Nominee Jonah Hill- Remember when we hung out in N'Orleans?? Congrats on the movie, BFF.
5. I don't care if Angelina looks amazing in red lipstick... she is easily 15 pounds tragically underweight and looks like her head was super-imposed on a meth-head's body.
The Best Funny Moment of the Show??
The random male award winner who spontaneously imitated Angelina's ridiculous stance.
I'm always.. "Team J Aniston Fo Life!"
Kristy's Kreations: Make me a shirt.
6. Most Eye-opening moment:
The realization, I am barely more mature than Coach ... about an hour into the Academy Awards I texted this exact message to my mother:
"They're confirming online that JLo slipped nip"
I'm not proud.
Seriously JLo, we know you're hot. We all get it. But you're in your 40's. You have children. Cover em up.
Otherwise, pretty boring show.
With the exception of Meryl winning!
JLo- Meryl is class. Take notes.