2012 Relay for Life Hollywood Masquerade Ball Performance

Well... it's been exactly 1 month
and still the Today show has not called.
Am I the only one completely confused by this?? I can tell you this much: if my daughters were the producers on a major morning news program, our Relay performers would have been on weeks ago. Man.. the girls totally force me to watch this video All The Time. Against my will... I would never just watch it, over and over, by myself... in a dark room. Smiling.

But Not As Much As Tomorrow....

Dear Gramma:
I'm going to use your birthday, to take the opportunity to tell you, to Seriously Stop Being Such a Stupid Head. This past year, you gave us a little bitty scare. Just enough to remind a few of us... you are not a given. So Stupid Head, here's my unsolicited advice for the Birthday Girl-

Take more time for you.
Tell us 'No'. Honestly, it won't kill us.
Tell the grandchildren 'Sorry, Gramma can't make it.'
Tell your husband.. 'Hey buddy, I need attention'.
If we ask you for help with some kind of ridiculous project, like making a thousand yoga meditation pillows and you just do not have the time or energy.. then politely tell me (or that person) to shove it.
Sure... we may talk about what a giant snotty brat you are, behind your back but we will be grateful you have a back... which we can talk behind!

Because this is what we really need more of: You
Just you.
And thousands more of your Tomorrows.
Because (knowing this family) there are still grandbabies you haven't yet met. Weddings, Grandpa may still need a dance partner for. Graduations, which will need the sound of your proud Gramma clapping. Not to mention MANY more birthday parties... we'll need a giant tray of Scotcharoos for.

Therefore, this musical dedication is from several friends, nieces, nephews a large handful of children and their spouses... MANY grandchildren and their tiny hugging arms... and one VERY smitten husband:



Happy Birthday, Gramma.
I wish you MANY MANY MANY more.

Oscar High-lites

1. The Stage: Best Eva for any awards show. It looked exactly like what Doc and I could have envisioned for our Relay Dance... if we had 12 million bucks (give or take) to decorate The Hall.

2. Speaking of Best Dress:
If I could have hired a designer to create a specific look for the Masquerade Ball, it would have been this-


Seriously, it's like this dress was MADE for my mask!! Except, it was made for her... because I'm a nobody.

3. Billy Crystal's Face:
Botox? Face lift? Microdermabrasion gone awry on an epic face-freezing level??

4. Hey Nominee Jonah Hill- Remember when we hung out in N'Orleans?? Congrats on the movie, BFF.

5. I don't care if Angelina looks amazing in red lipstick... she is easily 15 pounds tragically underweight and looks like her head was super-imposed on a meth-head's body.
The Best Funny Moment of the Show??
The random male award winner who spontaneously imitated Angelina's ridiculous stance.
I'm always.. "Team J Aniston Fo Life!"
Kristy's Kreations: Make me a shirt.

6. Most Eye-opening moment:
The realization, I am barely more mature than Coach ... about an hour into the Academy Awards I texted this exact message to my mother:

"They're confirming online that JLo slipped nip"

I'm not proud.
Seriously JLo, we know you're hot. We all get it. But you're in your 40's. You have children. Cover em up.
Otherwise, pretty boring show.
With the exception of Meryl winning!
JLo- Meryl is class. Take notes.

Just Wonderin about That Ol' American Dream..

My blog is not political.
I am not a government official.
Nor am I am economist, an accountant or even a mathematician. By any means.
I am not sparking a revolution or soliciting supporters for a March towards Capital City.
I am more or less, just thinking out loud.

Question:
If you do not provide or fund your grade schools, with the best possible opportunities to hire capable and well-intentioned teachers, coaches and staff...

If you cut crucial extra curricular activities which become a physical and mental outlet for developing minds and bodies, able to form relationships with team members or coaches, which will help mold them into more efficient adults, prepared and able to thrive within a competitive and mostly unfriendly world...

If children growing within homes, with over-worked single parents or parents struggling with a recent job loss, due to our economic situation... are unable to find an escape, a purpose, a meaning... in a Sport or Music and Art programs... are simply left to wither in a bubble of hopelessness or fade without the promising gloss of finding a passion...

If those children then become adults, living in a town without employment opportunities, growth or a joyful sparkle of possibility...

What if those young adults are left without choices but to steal, lie, cheat or beg to find their way. Scraping to find housing, in a depressed market. Unable to connect to their life's purpose, without having ever given the chance to nurture their passion...

If a depressed Community or State, turns their back to the mentally challenged or those in need of psychiatric help.... If we leave our neighbors in a time of depressed crisis, without medication, guidance or help. If those patients, our friends and brothers, parents or children... are left to wander... desperate for the glimpse of 'a chance'...

If our mentally challenged or children growing within a depressed home or an adult, trapped in their own sense of hopelessness... turn towards street drugs or alcohol abuse to dull their aching pain...

If they are then arrested...

Then, are we not:
simply mixing a perfect recipe to shape our youth, our young adults, even my generation... to become criminals? To resort to your most primal state of pure survival? To steal and cut corners to provide for oneself and their family? If you do not gift a person, the opportunities to learn BETTER... then how can we ever expect they will become BETTER?

And after a government has mixed this recipe of mass confusion, desperation, poverty with the uneducated, uninformed, unkempt and under appreciated.... Without the promise of hope... It would seem even more mind-boggling that you would then close the already severely over-crowded prison systems (or Oven, if you will...) in which to bake the perfect disaster, you have created.

Essentially, leaving more people, unemployed.
Leaving more towns, without purpose.
Leaving their schools, without funds.
Leaving their children, without opportunities.
Creating yet another generation.... Without.



Again, I am no fancy schmancy Economist.
Just wonderin out loud...
Kinda seems like an ugly, rotating,
unbreakable circle, has been drawn.

Yes... it's Tru!!

As many have heard: Coach and I are purchasing a business. Gulp! It is a perfectly quaint building, exactly the type of space Coach and I need. I am renovating the front half, into my dream Yoga studio. And I am completely and totally DROWNING in my ideas!!
I want my studio to be 'Green'.
(paint color and environmentally)
I want my studio to be inviting.
I want my studio to be calming.
I want.. I want... I want...
Plus, when one person with lots of ideas (aka me) and one person with lots of cheerful encouragement to others spending their money (aka Doc) go shopping at Menards, it may cause a brain to nearly explode with excited plans.
My current weekend obsession?? The exterior. I've mentioned my love affair with New Orleans. And weirdly, our new building has a bit of a European corner flair. I plan on accenting this. While searching pictures and ideas... I also found I am now extremely attracted to small-town Irish storefronts.
I understand, at some point the Main Street organization was offering small grants to area businesses... are they still? Because what needs to happen to make our town look like this??





The colors. The flowers. The park benches everywhere.
I would spend my entire Summer day, strolling around Downtown. I LOVE it!!





I am abruptly stopping my day to make Lists about when to make a List about Listing new ideas and projects for our building. My current List?

1. Find an Awesome sign painter and offer him Yoga for Life, for creating my perfect store front. Suggestions on possible sign painters... anyone??

2. Choose the perfect paint colors.

3. Win the Lottery.

4. Hope Lisa Scottoline offers to be my bestie and fund my Downtown Redo Project.

5. Or Oprah... or maybe Menards.

6. Convince Coach to build about a billion window boxes. Give or take a few.

And now, I've added to my List:

7. Visit Small towns in Ireland to fuel my inspiration.

I don't know...
That list seems do-able. If I read the list to Doc, she would smile brightly, nod enthusiastically and cheerfully encourage "Yes!! We can do that! That sounds awesome! I LOVE that idea!"
If Doc wasn't so Bad-A$$ed,
she would have made an amazing cheerleader.

Stay tuned, MANY more New Building posts to follow.
MANY more.

My Mom has Celebrity Friends!!

Yesterday, my mom wrote a cute little post on her blog. Chatting about spending the afternoon with my kids, shopping at Barnes and Nobles and purchasing a quick and nice read called "Save Me" by Lisa Scottoline. Grammy wrote a upbeat review of the book and I remember thinking: This sounds interesting, if I EVER HAVE TIME, I should totally read this.
And now... I really have too.
Because Grammy and The Author totally just become besties!! The Author read the actual post and Commented on her book blog! How crazy is that?!



Congrats Grammy.
I'm happy your blog got such fun recognition. Remember the little people, when you hit The Big Time. Everyone: Skip over to The Page Turner, to check out The Comment and bask in Grammy's glory!

The World Needs Better TV.

I was working on my laptop, when Coach entered the room and asked (while already in the process)
"Can I change the channel??"
I respond "Sure" as I was not paying attention.
Although we have at least 275 channels, he settles on Campus PD. During this particular episode, two campus cops were trying to deliver a noise complaint to a very intoxicated college student. The student continues to argue ignorantly, a few one liners earn a little giggle from Coach.
As this stimulating episode continues, the cops eventually write the student a ticket. They are willing to simply let the student accept the ticket and go about his evening, as long as he will sign his name to the bottom of the ticket. They go back and forth for several minutes, until he finally signs his name, takes the ticket and walks back into his apartment.
During the brief closing interview, the cop shows the camera that the student did not sign his name on the signature line but instead wrote one word: Poop.

Coach erupts in laughter. "Did you see that?! He signed 'Poop'. Man... that is some funny stuff. Poop... Hilarious!"

Me: "Yep. I saw it."

30 minutes later, randomly Coach says (laughing): "Poop... How bout he signed Poop?? Funny."

One hour later: "It really doesn't get any better than that kid signing Poop. That was good stuff!"
Again... starts laughing.

So there you have it.
Coach: 30 years old, a father, husband, coach, business owner and likely my Valentine for the rest of my life.... still a 13 year old boy, at heart.

As Fate Would Have It...

Dear Commissioner:
During this week in history, you took me man-hunting.

We had a specific list of required characteristics.
1.) He must be taller than me.
2.) He must be kind.
3.) He must have a job, with insurance and benefits.
4.) He must be older, established and seasoned in life.

I have since come to realize, none of the men you know, actually qualify in all Four categories...but you lined up your best bets and we headed out.

Like any great hunter, your prey was unsuspecting. We moved stealthily and with a keen, watchful eye. One by one, each Target fell off my radar. Some, for superficial reasons... a few, for fairly legitimate issues. Black socks with faded jeans?? Really??
We returned from our hunt, exhausted but in good spirits and ready for a post-outing night cap.
Upon arrival, we encountered my future Tru Love, the man of my dreams, the father of my children...passed out on your couch. Clothes, boots, hat and all: all too ready to rally and start Round Two (or knowing him, probably Round Three).

(actual picture, is it any wonder, I chose him?)

I squeezed in next to my catch, almost immediately prepared to cash in my tag. While engaging Coach in witty banter, oblivious that he qualified in Not a Single One, of my Four categories. It is not obvious, how Tall a man person is, as he sits on a couch.
You would think, Coach would at least qualify in Category Two though not from the glowing recommendation, Commish bellowed from across the party with much conviction.
"No way! Don't Date my Brother!"
"Stay Away from my Brother! He's NO Good."
And other expletives, not appropriate for blog reading.

Commish: I could have processed
and then registered your advice. Except:

A.) The more negative and Bad Boy the review, the more attractive Coach became.

B.) Also, on this evening, your impeccable and well educated judgement seemed blurred.

For on this, the most romantic moment of my life, you were dared to eat a piece of dog food.
And. You. Did. Commish... Twice.
Proving Jackie scored a winner, as well.

Commish: I would like to commemorate this Valentines, by thanking you for your poor advice. For warning me, so fervently against your younger hot mess of a brother, that it pushed me towards him that much harder.
You were so very convincing in your disdain for him, I knew this must be the man for me.
Maybe, that was your plan, all along? Maybe, you really wanted us together and only pretended that Coach was a worthless, bad-news good-for nothing heart breaker whom would amount to nothin?

You are a sly one, Commish.
One day, when our children are told an edited, sweeter version of this fairy tale...you will be the hero, in our story. The man, who convinced not One cousin but Two, to marry into your family.
Tricking two 'brown-eyed' girls, into sculpting your Family Tree, into our Family Wreath.

Well played, Commissioner, well played.

And to my Husband?
Tonight you drove All The Way across town to pick up a Casey's pizza, for our Valentine's dinner.... I'm still just as lucky, as I was on that evening. I'm living a real life Romantic Comedy, fo sho.

For your 400th Birthday, I bought you a Guest Blogger...:

Even though her "hair is browned now... and not yellow".. this house still really digs her.
Not as much as when she WAS yellowed haired
but still a decent amount.

Introducing to Tru Stories from the 222nd Floor,
for the first time Eva...

Sweetbreads Bailey
aka Guest Birthday Blogger
aka The Girl that makes Warhol giddy

Entry Below:

I'll Holla to That

For Warhol's birthday blog I won't nauseate the Tru Stories blog family by posting things about his amazing talent, his sweet caring nature, his glorious calf muscles, etc.

Instead, I'll share a few of MY favorite things I was lucky enough to share with Warhol this past year.

New Orleans: Warhol loved this beautiful city and got to share it with some of his favorite people. I loved that he faced his fears AND promised to do it again (Soon!)

Summer: Fortunately for him, "the summer of Sweetbreads" was over and we actually got some work done. I moved back to town and we all enjoyed some serious pool time. Warhol's kids got it on that too and we were all jealous of their tans. We got to enjoy lots of Country Mansion patio days, parties, bike rides, snake wrangling, Shelbyville boat trips....Oh. Wait. Just Shelbyville. (Kidding, Mrs!)

Friends & Family: It's hard to pick out just a few specific good times we had with our friends & families this year. Mostly because the there were so MANY. And also because a lot of our friends are also our family. I do know we acquired tons of good stories to tell!

I feel a little guilty hoping for an even better, less classy year with you but I'm confident it can be done.



I also asked Warhol's kids, Quincy and Galway Girl, to give me something to put into his birthday post and this is what they gave me~

"Even though you scratch your butt on the wall,
we still love you"

AND

"Even though you looked bad in the 80's,
we still love you"

Classic. I think what they were getting at is they still love their Dad..No Matter What. I know you worry that they won't think you're cool when they grow up, but today Quincy is viewing the infamous 'puberty' video at school. And tonight you'll be escorting your daughter to her first dance...even though you're also her date. So, Warhol: They are growing up. And it looks like they still think you're pretty cool.

So have a few more holla's, laughs and smiles this year, Warhol.
Happy Birthday I Love You

To My Husband's Broda

A few weeks before my birthday, I made the mistake of confessing my age was bothering me. Just a tad. Unfortunately for me, I made that confession in the presence of Warhol.
He caught that wave and rode it. Hard. All The Way to the shore. Now... I can take a joke. Sarcasm runs thick in my family. But every girl has got her limits. And signing off 'grosshol' to my pre-birthday post?? That could just barely make out 'my limit' in it's rear view mirror.
Given that I am not always 'the most friendly' gal you'd meet... I was sorta almost fuming. I mean "Dang! You show a vulnerability JUST ONCE and the dogs feed on it for weeks!!" What's his problem?!
Except, it occurred to me: I have witnessed Warhol's repeated harassment, before. To Coach (fo sho... over and over, who doesn't??) To Flag Girl (most def) to Commish (occasionally) To Doc (maybe a couple times but Warhol aint no dummy)... heck, I've even seen Clark's "Not a NASCAR/but Really a NASCAR sweatshirt" take a pretty decent beating.
Warhol was digging to the point of nearly breaking me, without any remorse. Exactly, like .... A Brother would.
After an extremely heartbreaking Fall with my brother: This Warhol realization, actually did break me. There is nothing, I miss more about my brother, than the playful (sometimes brutal) back and forth exchange between a brother and sister. Suddenly 'grosshol' felt oddly heart-warming. I am lucky, grateful and touched... to now call Warhol my friend AND my brother. I honestly never saw that comin.

Dear Warhol:



I have read in gossip mags, from one air brushed movie star, after another that 'Life begins at 40'. I mostly assumed this was fluff garbage (seriously WHO would WANT to be THAT old?!) But I have front-row witnessed you becoming more of yourself, with each passing year. You smile more, laugh more, have opened yourself to more adventure and growth. Your artwork is literally Inspired. Yes, you have a beautiful muse, worthy of credit. Yet the buck stops with you... YOU have actively participated in creating a better version of yourself. A person, so many of us are proud to know. (sure... you're still sometimes a jerk but it's at a tolerable level, now.)
Happy Birthday, Warhol.
I'm excited to see what the next year brings you. Gosh knows, Coach and I are totally game for the ride. (except maybe let's not take Campus Rd.. or 66...)

Stay tuned..
more Birthday surprises. Later today.

Which Roll is the Sushi Fish?

Last night, to celebrate Warhol's birthday, a small group went to dinner. Apparently, Warhol and Sweetbreads were actually not being sarcastic, when they stated we should class our life up. First, they took us totally off the grid to Buffalo Wild Wings (why you gotta hate on Jimmy Johns??) and now... they took us for sushi. Maybe.. it shocked a couple of siblings to learn that Sushi is not in fact, the name of a fish. Some people, could use a little more Animal Planet. And.. maybe somebody's husband, should not always say every thought he is thinking, out loud.



The Teacher and her Nice Guy, our distinguished tour guides for the evening.

Seriously. Not a Joke. I could NOT stop eating these beans. Proving ANYTHING is good, covered in Sea Salt.

Looks to me, like two brave and smiley people, eagerly turning the page on the next exciting chapter of their lives! It's never too late to realize dreams.

Siblings. Good thing, they are so cute.

Warhol and his Sweetbreads. Happy Birthday, Warhol. I'd spend the evening searching stores for the perfect gift... except it looks like fate has already gifted you, something very beautiful and priceless.

Now... I wonder how I will possibly follow up Warhol's birthday posts, from last year?? Tune in tomorrow!

From Now On...

I'd like The Mrs to refer to me as:
"The Dream Maker"

I didn't get Mrs on Oprah...
but I just checked one biggie off her Bucket List!



Madonna. September 19th.
Anyone else wants in...
Check her fansite for pre-sales.
I can promise my Van will turn into the Greatest Madonna Party Bus of all times. I'll probably have Warhol paint a banner. And I can make a mean Madonna mix tape.... Just sayin.

Let's Kick it Off!

This weekend, we gathered quietly to celebrate my brother's birthday. Kicking off his 31st year.



We ordered his favorite pizza, snacked in a tray of frosted brownies. The kids colored a card, gave him big birthday hugs and smiled as they sang 'Happy Birthday' to their Uncle.
He decided he wanted to all watch a movie together. After we giggled, as my mother 'navigated' her way around her new Wii Netflix, Uncle decided on Howard The Duck. (which is surprisingly less of a family movie than I remembered)
It was a nice evening. Calm. Loving. Perfect.
Happy Birthday, Brother.
I am proud of your hard work, this past year. I know it was not easy for you. Your determination to 'fight the good fight' and continued work to be a better person, is an inspiration to my children. I am grateful, your strong will keeps you striving for the joy in yourself.
I hope your 31st year brings you:
Many more smiles, than heartache.
More projects to busy your talented hands and mind. More exercise and fresh air. A little sunshine on your handsome cheeks, as you sit captivated at (hopefully) adorable Tink T-ball games and (hopefully) impressive The Kid baseball games. More classes to help you better yourself and books to find your peace.
You and I have had plenty of trials, Little Brother but I still love you, just the same. To the best "Little broda dat you were bigger than but now he is bigger dan you" as Tink would say.
Happy Birthday, Uncle!!

Jump Rope for Your Life!

Last night, the jump rope team was scheduled to jump at halftime of the girls high school basketball game. Nerrrvooouusss!! My girls did an excellent little routine in our kitchen that afternoon, I expected: leaving their awesomeness completely spent for the night.
The evening before the event, Tink slowly began dropping hints that "mine muscles might be too tired." By lunchtime Day of Event, she casually mentioned in passing "ummm, I jus think my mind changed".
Twice I excitedly questioned Coco about her BIG plans, she knocked her hip out, hunched her shoulders up and replied "ehhh, I don remembered".
Then JUST as the girls lined up to parade onto the floor, Coco took a swipe from a neighboring rope, bursting into tears.
I assumed... Done. Pack them up, these two drama queens are never gonna make it onto the court.


Except... they totally did!!!

Coco rallied, surrounded by her cousins.

Owl (per usual) remained focused and ready to execute her performance perfectly.

** Galway Girl also jumped her advanced level skit amazingly but I'll be honest, I was waaaayyy too much a total wreck over the mini-girl group, to photograph some old girl whom repeatedly delivers a flawless routine!! (Boring) At this point, it's news to NO one that Galway Girl is comfy putting on a show.**

The view from my camera may be a little fuzzy... though my actual real-life view was as blurred from relief tears at my lil ladies!! I'm not sure if they landed a single jump but the fact they sweetly marched out in front of the large crowd?? Very proud!!


And my Coco??? Cuter every second.
Something tells me That Girl, is gonna enjoy herself a standing ovation. Hopefully... it's not from setting the school cafeteria record on eating the most ketchup packets in 60 seconds... fingers crossed.

January 2013....

Next Year's Theme Dance:



The Rock of Ages Gala:
"A Showcase Event.....
from The Beatles, Bon Jovi and Beyond."

See you next year!