We don't Mess Around.

He lifted his hands.
He raised his voice.
And declared, Family Law:

"No more, KFC for One Year."
We shook under the enormity of what Coach had just laid down, but we obediently agreed.
For, when The Man speaks, we listen.

KFC,
Your Mashed Potatoes/Gravy are The Kid's Heroin.
Yet, your service, or complete Lack Of....has lost us.

For 5 visits, to a minimum 3 locations, you have:

1. Been completely out of forks and spoons. Forcing us to consume our Sides Dishes with a plastic knife.
2. Your ice-machine broke. Coach trekked to the back of the restaurant to grab from a bag...leaving our drinks to taste like stockroom freezer.
3. Your employees will either randomly disappear or stare blankly in response to our order. Then take a minimum 16 minutes to prepare our meal.
4. Your biscuits have been rock hard.
5. Your Drive Thru turned all lights off at 8:51pm without so much as a "Sorry, see ya next time."

And the Best Ever:

6. After Coach had suffered a Bad Day (this so vary rarely happens in his Care Bear world of Lollipop Rainbows and Sparkle Sun Beams) the children and I planned a Surprise Dinner of the Jumbo Family bucket.
We pulled into the drive thru:

Garbled Static Drive Thru Voice: Hi, welcome to KFC.
The Good Wife: Yes, I would like to order the Family Dinner Special.
Static Voice: Sorry, we are out of chicken.
Good Wife: Ummm, I will take extra crispy then?
Static Voice: Sorry, we are completely out of chicken.
Good Wife:
Ummmm, I don't get it. You have NO chicken.
Static Voice: No, someone just came and purchased all of our chicken.
Good Wife: For Reals?

After making sure I was not being Punked;
We regrouped and ordered Pizza Hut.
Which never disappoints.

Therefore.
KFC. You are on a 1 Year Ban.
(Coach foot-noted we can try the Morris location.)

I hope you can survive, without our 6 visits per year.
Maybe, this will teach you a lesson.