Co-Parenting 101

Coach: So yesterday at lunch with The Kid, they kept playing one country song after another at The Station.  The Kid was commenting on how many 'dumb' Country songs were being played.  But then he was also singing them, he knew every word. So after a few, I told him 'It's ok if you want to like Country music.  Just because mom and I don't like it, doesn't mean you can't listen to it..'

I sit up straight, flabbergasted I shout: WHAT?  You can't just go around passing out advice and making major parenting decisions like that, without consulting me first!!

Coach (laughs): I can't give him permission to like his own music??

Me (not laughing): NO.  You can not.  What's next?? Just tell him if it feels good he can try crack or crystal meth?!

Coach: Sorry, I didn't realize.  What should I have told him in that situation?

Me: The truth.  That I'm positive that at least half of today's popular Country music is to blame for the dumbing down of America.  Obviously.

He did it!

By the start of the event on Saturday evening, The Kid had raised $1,620.00 for the St. Baldrick's Foundation.  And he was SO grateful and surprised by all the donations.  Thanks to everyone!

 

The 'Before' Picture

 



A picture of the very large crowd gathered to watch the volunteers getting shaved.  Kinda intimidating!

Getting started.  The Kid was a little nervous.

His Dad playing around with some Barber Artwork.

After watching several Shavees, Little Gipper said she wanted her Uncle to shave her... (no worries, he only pretended..)

Much later into the night, after all the participants had been shaved.  The Kid and the Barber took a picture with the Leprechaun.

The Kid.  Maybe he's embarrassed by his bald head and he plans on spending the next couple weeks in disguise??  Not at all.  Within hours he said he loves his shorter cut.
We are very proud of The Kid for taking this chance and trying something new, for a great cause.  It was an amazing lesson for him.  And hopefully the Giving Bug took a bite out of him, for good. 

The Kid's act of Kindness

Last week began the start of Lent.

At this age, they encourage the children to not only 'give up' something for Lent... but to also find ways to become a better person.  Perform an act of kindness. 

This Saturday, there is an event dedicated to the St. Baldrick's foundation, to help raise money for Childhood Cancer Research.  Participants are raising money and then shaving their heads to show solidarity. I saw the information and said to The Kid, "You would be great for this.."

Because:

A.) His hair grows very fast!

and B.) in The Kid's world of brand new track shoes, iPhones and American Eagle clothes... I'm afraid we are raising a brat. (actually 3 brats)  And I thought maybe he would find the value in doing something for a great cause.

The Kid accepted and he LOVES this journey.

 

He immediately wanted to set a goal of $1,000. 
I talked him down to $500, in hopes that he wouldn't be disappointed.  This morning, he has already raised $655 and is hoping to surpass $1,000.

The most adorable part:
The Kid has told me more than once, how great this makes him feel.  How he "really feels like he is just like his parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.  That this is his first real act of charity."
It's heartwarming to know, I have surrounded my son with such great people and such a great example. If you would like to help The Kid reach his goal (or higher!) please use this link to donate by credit card: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/700654/2014
Or you may drop a check at the Barbershop before Saturday. It's for an amazing cause!
I promise to post After pics of the shaved head.

The Kid. Age 12 yrs 1 mo

I am separately giving each of my children a "Getting to Know You Quiz". To remember them exactly as they are today. January 2014.

 

(Answers typed exactly as he answered them.)

1. What is your favorite movie? Jurassic Park
2. What is your favorite TV show? The Office
3. What is your favorite color? Green
4. Who is your favorite star? Justin Timberlake
5. What is your favorite food? Soup (he's not kidding...)
6. What is your favorite thing that we do together? When we're talking and you are being really funny.
7. What do you wish we could do more? Snuggle.. but I know I'm kinda too big to say that.
8. What is your favorite toy? Legos
9. What is your favorite video game? Minecraft
10. Who are your best friends right now? Garett, Mason, Jimmy
11. What do you like about them? We can all just be dumb together.
12. What kind of music do you like to listen to? Top 40 Justin Timberlake, Jay Z, Eminem
13. Do you like hot weather or cold weather? Hot, definitely
14. What do you like to do more than anything? I like to read.  I wish I did it more.
15. What is your favorite book? Jurassic Park
16. Is there anything that Mom has done to disappoint you? Sometimes if you're sick and you can't come to my things... but I know you can't help that... (Ummm.. Ouch) 
17. Is there anything that you’ve wanted to ask Mom? What was your favorite year of your life? (Answer? So far that would have been years 2011-2012)
18. What was your Favorite Vacation? Florida
19. Who is your favorite sister? and Why? Coco because sometimes the other one is annoying and Coco is more like me. (They are both DRAMA!)
20. What do you wish Dad would do for you? Sometimes I wish he would talk more and try to understand the other things I like.

The First Baby.

With your first child, a parent reaches each new milestone or birthday with a sense of equal parts: Excitement, Eager Anticipation and Undeniable Melancholy. Their first day of Junior High, their first real game, their next big birthday.  Each 'event' of their lives is inevitably the newest and biggest shared 'first' for the both of you.  It has become common knowledge: each of The Kid's birthdays which further separates me from my once snugly baby boy, breaks my heart a little. Until Today.

 

 

With complete confidence, I can declare The Kid to be the most happy of his entire life.  The Kid loves hard, he breaks easy, he second guesses and wants so badly to belong.  He views himself with a fun house mirror, unable to accurately see the beauty and goodness inside, which is so clear to the rest of us. 

Until recently.  At an age when so many other boys are suffering from a pre-teen identity crisis, The Kid is settling into himself.  It is amazing to watch.  I have been his front row, center stage Fan Club President since the very first moment I knew I was becoming a mother. 

 

This Fall, The Kid received the best report card of his life. (which is saying something...) His teacher conference was glowing (which is REALLY saying something..) He has made good and tru friends.  He is (mostly) doing his own laundry (and actually liking it because it makes him feel 'grown up').  His Speech team won a Best in Show award.  And he is GROWING (3 jeans sizes in 12 months. Ouch.)

He began pitching for his school baseball team.  A position he steadfastly avoided due to nerves.  While watching his first full inning of strike-outs, tears streamed down my cheeks.  My throat was tight and I could barely breathe from the wash of emotion.
Sure... I Heart a great strike-out.  But the tears were not a result of pride from an athletic accomplishment.  Instead I was so overwhelmingly pleased for his confidence in himself.  I have never seen my son with such a comfortable strength.  It is the most beautiful thing in the world, to witness your child becoming themselves.

I have spent the past ten years utterly convinced I would never again see anything cuter than his chunky toddler smile.  Those big brown eyes, hidden deep inside his chubba cheeks... that was the best it would ever get. So color me surprised to realize his twelve year old mini-man face is suddenly ALSO the cutest thing eva?!  Man sized jeans and American Eagle tshirts?  Possibly even cuter than little Carter's onesies on rolly polly legs.  How can that be?

I love this child so much it hurts.
We have probably never made more mistakes and yet without question, Coach and I have done our very best parenting on this amazing boy.  The Kid glued our three hearts together.  How could he ever have reason to second guess anything?  Because falling in love with The Kid, was easily The Most Important milestone of our adult lives.

Happy Birthday, to the First Baby.
My birthday wish for you is simple: to continue to be so darn happy.  To be your best self.  To strive to be as kind as your father and as brave as your mother.  Be so much more than a good grade... be a good person.
I have never believed in anything so completely, as I believe in your heart.  Everything right I have ever done, was to bring you to this joyful space in your life.

OMG You are the WORST!!

I'm in the kitchen cleaning, The Kid is minding his business.  I'm playing music and then 'Royals by Lorde' comes on...

Me: Yes!  This is my new jam.

The Kid (eye roll): You're so lame.

Me: I'll show you 'so lame' when this song plays at your next school dance...

The Kid (confused): Why??

Me: Because we're chaperoning your next dance and we'll probably request this song and throw down our sweet dance moves.

The Kid (loud and mortified): WHAT?!  You guys are chaperoning the dance?  You guys are sooo embarrassing! 

Me: Of course we are... I'm going to have Dad request this song because every one likes him and then I'll shout out "Heck yeahz, this is my JaaaAAM!!" and we'll start throwing down sweet moves like this... (then I start really dancing.  Little running man, some PG twerking, I pretend the fridge is Coach and show how we'll choreograph a few moves together.

The Kid is horrified.  Shouting out ineligible words. Eyes are wide: Why are you so weird?!  You are the most embarrassing parents in the whole world.  I can't believe you!

I played the song over 3 times.  Giving a solid 9 minute performance, reducing The Kid to complete humiliation.  I repeated phrases such as (but not limited too): "sweet Jam, gettin my groove on, shake what your momma gave you, boogie woogie..etc"
----------------------------------

Later, Coach came home.  We played the song over. 
We demonstrated a little number, fist pumping and other couple dance moves (no worries, we left more than enough room for the Father, Son and even The Holy Ghost.)  In addition (because Coach fancies himself a rock star) Coach began to really belt out lyrics to all the other songs he would request.  Threatening to turn the Jr High dance into a Karaoke.
The Kid was dying! He made a weird noise that was both a laugh and cry, from the back of his throat.

Ohhh... how we giggled.

The very best part??
1. I have no idea when the next dance is.
2. We are most definitely NOT signed up to chaperon.
3. We never will be.
4. We still haven't told The Kid the truth.

Teasing my Jr High son? My new Fav sport.

The Big Kids

The Big kids are keeping me ridiculously busy.  I've turned into one of those obnoxious blogger moms, who's children are in a million activities, while I adorably wear a seasonal apron I have sewn myself, in between trips to milk the goat..

Tink's evenings are busy with: Piano lessons, Hip hop class, CCD and Children's Yoga.  For a couple evenings, she was able to fit in a cheer leading camp and performance at the Varsity Football game. And that experience, taught me this:

 

I'm completely unprepared to be a cheerleader's mother. It's against every fiber of my being.
I had to lame text other mothers to ask: shorts, skirt or leggings?? How early is too early to drop off?
Inner debates: make-up??  How much lip stick?  Isn't there something about wearing more stage make-up to see in crowds?  Is football cheer leading hair big?  Ponytail?? Pigtails are probably out... I just DON'T KNOW THESE THINGS!!  I'm out of my element!!

And then crazy stuff starts to happen to me... I'm cheering FOR a cheerleader.. I'm getting excited for how hard she snaps her arms. I love her tiny fists on her hips.  I'm annoyed they didn't teach her MORE cheers in the short 3 hour workshop.  I'm suddenly addicted to MORE cheering!
I can't believe she takes that huge football field, without a trace of hesitation.  She's got so much guts in that little body.

And the Biggest Kid?

In his first year of Junior High school baseball, The Kid slowly became a little star.  And my nerves can not handle it. 

Stealing bases:

It's sorta his thing.  His dad will stand up behind me, spreading his arms wider and wider, urging The Kid to take a bigger lead. Then I yank Coach into his chair, because the super wide lead makes my belly hurt.

The Kid's smile after stealing Second, then stealing Third and then finally stealing Home, looks like this:

And that smile is awesome.
But the real test to my nerves?? The Kid is becoming a pitcher.  And a pretty darned good one.

(PS- I'm only allowed to snap pics while he warms up, otherwise it may spook him...)
After each inning concludes, I am suddenly stricken with a throbbing headache, from holding my breath during the entire duration of each batter.  I'm a wreck.  He makes me want to drink.

Cute father and son moment, eye-black application before the game.

I'm super crazy proud of both Big Kids.  They have really surprised me.  It appears, I am kinda raising pretty awesome people... right now... hopefully that didn't jinx anything..
And Coco??
She doesn't dig, the big kids draining all the attention.
As you can imagine.

The Worst Summer Eva...

Around lunch time yesterday, The Kid dramatically declared himself "sooooo bored" and this the "most boring summer ever..." and within minutes he had Coco declaring the same sentiments.  To which I immediately made a list.  Since the end of May, the kids in this house have:

participated in family weddings, gone to basketball and baseball camps, played countless baseball/tball games, had over nights at cousins'/Grandmas and friends, week long vacation in Florida, children's yoga, night tag, blueberry picking, Bible schools, swim lessons.

Mud parties, Candy Store openings, retirement parties, family park nights, bike rides, weekly library reading programs and art classes, Farmer's Markets, river boat cruises, 4th of July parties.

Weekend in Shelbyville, piano lessons, beach club days, afternoons at friends' pools, the town pool, a baby pool in our yard, family dinner dates.

Attended and held Cook outs, smores around fires, boating, play dates, trips to Target, Ikea and the mall.  Walks to the video store.  Family Thursdays at the Mansion patio. Etc.. etc.

 

Sure... I'm soooo bored, I am a walking Summer-time Mother of three who may lose her mind if I have to sun screen or bug spray one more little body.  I haven't looked at this blog in weeks and I would pay a million dollars just to spend one very quiet 24 hours with my husband in a clean house.

 

Shortly after his I'm Bored Tantrum, The Kid was sent outside to do serious yard work... who's bored now beyetch??!!
Too much?  Sorry.
Is it even August yet?!

Misunderstanding.

Sunday, the Priest from our church retired.  We attended his last Mass.  Yesterday, The Kid and I were discussing his future, while the girls played around us.

The Kid: So where is Father going?

Me: He is moving to Chicago.

The Kid: With his daughter that lives there?

Me: Yes.  And I'm sure he will travel.

The Kid: And we are getting a new Father?  I wonder what he'll be like.  How old is he?

Me: I haven't heard.  I don't really know anything about him.  I hope, he is as good with all you kids, as Father was.

Just then, Coco walks up to me with her faced crinkled and crushed.  Big tears in her eyes, lip out, chin shaking...
Me: What's wrong?!  What happened?

Coco: Mom, I don't want a new Daddy!  I don't want my Dad to move to Chicago.... I want to keep my father! (big dripping tears...)

Me: Hun!  Not OUR Daddy!  Your Daddy is not moving to Chicago!  The Father from the church is moving.  Father Rickey!  Not our daddy.

Now... take a moment and re-read The Kid and I's conversation. Ouch.  Poor Coco.  Eavesdropping can be dangerous!

Dear Arizona:

What you are about to see is shocking and unsettling..

Remember when The Kid was just a tiny 7 lb baby??  And he was the first little baby, you had kinda ever fallen for?  Who started to melt your I'm Never Gonna Have Kids- heart.  And I nicknamed him The Kid, when he was only weeks old... cuz it was funny to say "Won't somebody help me carry The Kid..??" (In the olden days, car seats were heavy.)

When you think of that little baby...

Did you ever think he would be THIS BIG?!!

 

 

I'm not sure what happened over the last month but my baby suddenly has man legs.... Not cool.

But when the track meets get cold (because they always do) The Kid is not too much of a grown-up to snuggle his Hot Box of a little sister.  (She's our personal family mobile furnace.)

This week, The Kid ran his best meet thus far.
It almost (I said, ALMOST) makes up for his nervous short-fused temper, before each and every meet.  Sometimes, I really love that mouthy little brat.

Arizona, one day this will happen to your boys.
Sorry... that was mean to say...

The (Not so Much a) Kid.

In the last several months, The Kid has turned Jr High.  He is gone ALL the time.  His schedule is practically giving me weekly anxiety attacks.  He's playing on 3 different basketball teams/leagues.  School clubs and projects.  Friends...etc.

And when he is home..

He walks around with his big Cool Kid head phones, hooked up to his iPhone.  He grunts answers, his basketball shoes get Febreezed and he has little tolerance for annoying sistas. He behaves entitled. He refuses chores.

And it makes my stomach hurt.

Is my sweet chubby toddler boy, totally gone?

Is my time with him over?

In a blink of an eye, did I just lose my snuggle baby boy to Teenage Town?  But how?? He didn't even ask my permission to move there!

Then, at bedtime I found this:

 

I feel hopeful, maybe I've still got a few months or (dare to dream) years with my sweet little boy...

My bookends are two peas built from the same pod.
God help us...
But when they are good, it's really beyond words.

Double Ones.

In the past 12 months...

You have: traveled to at least 5-6 new States, in 3 separate road trips. Visiting museums, historical landmarks, 1 new Ocean and countless water slides.

You have: purchased (well, we did) and managed new contact lenses, lost a handful of teeth, grown 2 more shoe sizes and at least 4 inches.

You have: started a new school.  Joined the Speech team (and won!). Began accelerated projects, earned High Honor Roll, mastered First Base and joined the 6th Grade Basketball Team.

You have: met several new friends.  Flown out the door to events, parties, dances and sleepovers. Had 'girlfriends-ish' and joined the Jr high Youth Group.

We have: remodeled your bedroom into a 'big kid room'. Bought you a phone (Ugh! Yuck!) And replaced your jean size twice.

 

You are becoming all I've ever dreamt for you.  And all the while, I have become more of a spectator and less of a participant, in your life. Which I realize is exactly as it is meant to be... but it all happened so quickly.

 

You've experienced so much growth, this year.  Emotionally and physically.  Shedding all of your toddlerness, each and every day.  Marching towards your teenage years, in warp speed.  I can still see the fullness in your cheeks.  You occasionally allow for a quick couch cuddle (barely) and a kiss goodnite.  You have a few baby teeth left, before braces.  And your voice is still sweetly my little boy's... but I can see you starting to round the turn.

You are so worldly.  A trait, I am proud to have passed to you. You have such a zest for travel.  If I ever 'won great riches' I would immediately use my wealth to take you all over the world.  To teach you new languages.  To frequent the most amazing museums and historical monuments. I would love to experience different cultures and people, through your wonderment.  So often your (many many) questions, are left unanswered during my busy day.... I would love for the opportunity to feed your mind knowledge directly from the Rues of Paris, or the shores of exotic beaches. You literally, Deserve the World.

Thankfully, you are still adorably naive on occasion. Though, I am unsure how... as you have been forced too often to understand the heart-ache of the adult world. You have done an amazing job, loving and tolerating your Uncle. I am proud you have been raised to care unconditionally and without prejudice. Undoubtedly, your Uncle is helping to make you a better man. Your loyalty and devotion, are unmatched.  Unfortunately, often leaving you disappointed and confused by those less kind. I pray your heart remains as pure as the world will allow.

Obviously, your mind is the most amazing thing I have ever helped to create.  Yes, I am proud of your untarnished run on the High Honor Roll... but I am speaking of more than grades.
Each day, you are excited to learn something new.  You are a sponge for information.  You absorb every detail, from the world around you.  You pore over travel maps, museum pamphlets, biographies, informational packets.  Wikepedia was created specifically for you.  Undoubtedly, Siri will become your new best friend.
More than any thing I wish that you never lose this trait. Center on my Vision Board, is a picture of you proudly walking with friends across an Ivy League campus (after you've earned a scholarship, of course.)

I hope one day you realize, each step Dad and I have taken, has been to lay your path. Your joy, your smile, your feeling of comfort and safety is our greatest accomplishment.  We would literally, give up our every thing... to make you some thing.  Parenting is without question, the most excruciatingly difficult job any person can accept.  But your small successes, are our biggest rewards.
Don't you know yet, Kid??
You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Happy Birthday, my Thanksgiving baby.
I am forever Thankful, you have flipped my world upside down.  You are my purpose.  It is my honor, to be Your Biggest Fan.

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
-John Lennon

Sometimes, Parenting is Fun.

Thanksgiving is The Kid's birthday. And MUCH to my dismay, we purchased him a phone. I maintain, he is still much too young but with the new school and basketball practices, it just feels more safe.
Sooo... Monday night, after his basketball game: I offered to carry his gym bag out to the truck. In the process, I secretly slipped the phone into the bag and then placed it in the backseat with him. After a few minutes on the road, Coach began calling the phone... And the joke/end result TOOK FOREVER!!
I recorded the event and it's pretty amusing.
It's dark and poor quality but still amusing.

Side Note: Yes, I look less than adorable. Listen... Sometimes, Parenting is Fun. Sometimes, it is exhausting... the video is a little of both.

 

Side Note Part Deux: If you're a creepy Internet Stalker and you think you're about to turn my child's phone into an episode of Law & Order SVU... uhhhh Good Luck to you.  I'm an uber controlling mother (ask anyone) and I will go Spider Monkey all over your a$$.  For Realz. I don't play. 
PS- Same threat goes for annoying Junior-High Girls... Try to show some self-control ladies.

Deep Talks

(The Kid, at his game)

 

While watching "We Bought a Zoo" with The Kid 

(a movie about a father, with two kids, whom lost his wife) I asked The Kid and Coach a question.

Me: How do you think Dad would manage if you guys lost me? Do you think he could handle it or would life be a mess??

 

The Kid: I think Dad could manage. But things would be different because we'd probably be living on an NBA bus, traveling all over the country.

 

Me: You think if I died, Dad would start playing professional basketball??!

 

The Kid: Probably.  And he'd drag us with him.

 

Me (looking at both of them in surprised disbelief):

So what you're saying is... without me in his life, Dad would be a professional athlete??  Because being married to me, is the only thing that has been holding him back from the NBA?!

The Kid nodded.

I looked at Coach.

Coach shrugged his shoulders knowingly, raised an eyebrow and smirked a little: Listen... I didn't say it... but The Kid knows what he's talkin about...

 

Un.Be.Lievable.

Stop. It.

Saturday, The Kid received a First Place in his Speech contest.  He was absolutely phenomenal.  I watch the entire 9 minutes, through blurred tears.  Continually, amazed by his endless well of talent.

Tuesday evening, The Kid played in his first Junior High basketball game.  He is new to the team but we saw tremendous promise.  His father favorite part: "He was excited.  He played the game like he loved it."  For me, The Kid played the game like his Uncle.

And Friday evening, following practice, The Kid will attend his first Boy/Girl Jr High Dance.

Stop. It.



But.. he used to dance with me.
Every night, I slow danced The Kid to sleep.
My little chubby, toddler snuggle boy.
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
I'm so happy The Kid found his place.  It's just, I don't know... did he HAVE to leave me behind??

I bless the day I found you
I want to stay around you
And so I beg you, let it be me

Adorable Halloween Themed Pics

 

Good Times, October.  Good Times.