You are Buggin Me.

Dear House Ants:

Wow, to say the last three weeks have been eventful, is an understatement!
You are a wild, little speck of gut busting fun.
From the first Saturday morning you arrived, cuddled up sweetly, in Tink's bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch... it has been a roller coaster of fun.
Upon, further investigation, we found your buddies located in nearly every single darn open package of food we owned.
And wasn't that a hoot!
What better way, to clean your entire kitchen out before, 9:19am in a happy Springtime morning. I certainly, cannot think of one. After tossing, our full supply of dry goods, I then realized we have several expired boxes of Tuna Helper. I heard Tink, muffle a sob when we tossed the Cookie package out. We ended with a fun bleach scrub down of the cabinets. Good times.
I really ought to commend you, I was more than past due on Spring Cleaning my pantry and the swift kick in the behind was well deserved.
I must thank you again, for reminding me several days later, that it is not cool to leave plates with Eggo syrup out on the counter. Obviously, you are quicker than I. It was almost enjoyable draining a full can of Raid along my counter tops, walls and window. It is very clever and surprising that you found your way, actually down into my sink drains.




The amusement began to wear thin, sometime around incident Number Three, when the girls noticed your trail along the carpet. This perplexed me and may have summoned a few swear words. I understand the Syrup and Cereal boxes, but my carpet? That seemed excessive and down right arrogant.

I'm sure, our home is a little like an Ant's Wet Dream. (I apologize for the reference.)
Seeing as we have yet to turn the Air Conditioning on even once...

Take a moment.
Soak that information in.
Not.One.Time.
Not even for the humidity.
Not even that one week, it was nearly 100 degrees.
Nope.

Do not blame Coach. Shaking your fists to the heavens, that he is yet another Cheap Son of a Bleep! It is actually I, who is not the fan of Air.
Much to the confusion of my husband. 'If their are devices invented to blow cold air into a warm home and we own such devices...why are we not using them?'
Answer: I'm just not a fan.

Continue...

Without the Air, I understand our home feels a little like the sticky Jungle environment from which you originate.
The sweat smell coming off my miserable children, must be inviting.
The juice dripping from sippy cups.
Coco's dropped Cheerios.
The fact that my offspring are basically, pigs...
well, who can really blame you?

But Ants...
I am not playing.
You will meet the same fate, as my Fall House Guest, the Fruit Fly.
Ant traps... purchased.
Three bottles of Raid...Armed and Ready.
I have almost completely given up grocery shopping, resulting in NO such dry foods to lounge about in.
I'll pretend to blame the Ants, on my weaken desire to shop.

Crawl down the block.
This Inn is Closing.