Just stick an Acute-ly Sharp Knife into my Newton-Apple Red Heart.

Assemblies.
Not.A.Fan.
I remember, feeling bored.
Painfully bored.
I have realized, after attending several for The Kid, assemblies may bore me even more, as an adult. Even, if your child is walking away with a ribbon.
Therefore, line up the Perfect Storm of the Lamest Assembly Ever ...and those events would have landed Squared (math joke) on yesterday afternoon.

The Kid and Six, spent their first week of summer...
A.) Staying up late, Partying like Rockstars?
B.) Swimming, until their chlorine fed eyes bled?
C.) Playing baseball, to perfect their infield rotation?
D.) Attending an all day, Invention Camp?

Sorry,
the Correct answer is D.

Edie, Warhol, Coach and I have shared rides and over nights...with front row seats as the boys morphed even Super Sonic harder into Twin Dorks.
Dork Camp 2010, was 30 minutes from home.
We would pack the girls up, drive so unbelievably slow on two lane country roads, behind semis (who.apparently.have.no.where.to.be.in.a.hurry) headed to a bridge designed by the Devil's Private Architectural Firm, carefully shimmied over (as the boys, mentally weighed the other vehicles to determine if we were past the allowed weight limit) and drove into Dork Camp Central.

On Friday, the Camp, held a Closing Ceremonies.

Let's throw, all these spices in the pot, stir it up and see what kind of Boring Stew, we can create.

Dice, several Dork Camp students Aged 5-12.
Sprinkle in Camp Counselors (identified as freshman at various mega-nerdy universities.)
Add, 4 Tablespoons of Student Built Robots made with Donated Recyclables
1 Cupful of Science and Math Teachers.

For extra insult over injury,
Simmer, on low heat over a Basketball Court, just throwing a little Spit on the Concoction.
Thankfully, Coach was at work.
He should never see a Court so desecrated.



I was bored.
Even with, Tink's unShuSHable chatter.
Until....
The Teacher's began a Q&A. Shouting out questions with words such as Acute, Isosceles, Neutron, Measurements...
I was transported back to 16.
My eyes clouded over with panic.
I felt sick.
My mind raced.
What if they asked a parent question and I embarrassed my brilliant child with, my fumbling knowledge of Math and Science?
Immediately, following my last College course, I erased the teeny bit of knowledge, I had desperately tried to absorb. I can barely use a Measuring Cup to cook Hamburger Helper, without a mild panic attack.
Why didn't I sign him up for Art History
or maybe Classic Literature?

The moment passed. We were not asked a question. The Dorks were jazzed and ready to show off their inventions. Warhol, Edie and I...fained interest and nodded in appreciation at their Dazzling Imaginations.






Bottom Line.
Was it worth the $250?
The naggingly long drive?
Crossing the Dare Devil bridge?
Spending extra hours with two boys Pumped on Crack-like Dork Camp Adrenaline?
Perfecting, my 'Pretending to be Interested Acting Skills'?

Absobleepinlutely!



I have a Mad-Crush on those two brains.
I will continue to nurture those little spirits until their Ivy League Keg Parties, turn them to Mush.
Proud of you boys!
You are more than worth it.