Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thank you for your visit

Regarding: Mr. Fruit Fly and family.
We have very much enjoyed your company this summer but I believe it is time that we bid adieu.
I can not remember exactly when you arrived or from what veggie or fruit you caught a ride with. We have tried our best to make your visit a pleasant one. My husband was most accommodating by rarely taking out the garbage. I always provided fresh garden vegetables for you and I believe you enjoyed them more than my children and especially my husband.
Thanks to the arrival of our newest house guest, Kat, the maid service may not have been at the top of their game. I feel you found this to your liking. We tried to hire additional help with the housekeeping, but he was very busy with his softball season and Cubs viewing pleasure. We had to let him go. Our children have done their best to be filthy pigs without any basic ability for chores and you have always expressed your thanks to them.
We discussed when you arrived that your time with us was similar to a backward snow bird and you seemed to accept that. However, you have over stayed your welcome and I am afraid it is time to be brutally honest about our relationship. We are not friendly, we have tried to be civil but the relationship has not grown in a positive direction. It is time for us to part ways. I have spent this evening checking several other options for you on the Internet. I hope the transition will not be too difficult.
This will not be as hard on us as it will be on you.
Please take this like a man and do not embarrass yourself in front of your family. Every great man has his day and must accept his fate.
I'm sure we will welcome your future generations next summer.
Until then,
The Staff at the 222nd Floor.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh.

The Mrs. said...

Your fruit fly has a cousin and he's living at our house. And it's making me crazy. Please share your eviction techniques if successful.