I'd like to take this moment to respectively speak as your Aunt and elder: Maybe 6 weeks ago, The Kid and I, made a pack to read the Hunger Games books. I read the first in the series (he read all 3) and we took Coach and went to the movie. (obviously, Coach had not read the book... but we allowed him to join us.)After viewing the movie, I grabbed the second and spent 4 straight hours reading the entire book, until 1:00am. As many of you are aware:
The second book ends abruptly... creating an urge to immediately rip open the third, to finish the series. I could hardly wait to wake The Kid the next morning and demand he hand me the last, to complete the series. He responded to my request with a shoulder shrug and totally bored, "Ohh... I already gave the book to Mona. She took it to her house and is still reading it." I nearly slapped his face.
WHAT??!! Do we just pass out Tween books to other ten year olds, encouraging them to read... with no regard for our Mothers??! I became panicky. Sorta sweaty and confused. The book was an ENTIRE hour away from me... and there was nothing I could do because it's not cool for a grown woman to DEMAND a children's book from her niece.
So... for the last few weeks, I have played it cool.
But no more.
GIVE ME BACK THAT BOOK!!
I can't stand it anymore, Mona! What will Katniss do? Is her family safe? Will she outsmart the Capital?? I NEED to know these things!!
In the interim... I have read a few other books (that's right Page Turners... I'm reading again) one about friends in yoga studio and yesterday I started this little book, some people may have heard of... **Mona, please stop reading this post now** A book called...
'20 errr shades of ... ummm orange... or something'.
And let me tell you: It's inappropriate.
To say the very least.
Let's try to get past the 'Ummm you know' .. I can hardly handle weak women who fail to look out for themselves. Therefore... I'm having a little trouble dealing with the heroine (eye roll and cough). It may be the first time, I am unable to finish a book.
**Mona, you can start reading again**
So as you can see... my mind needs a mental cleansing of sorts. I NEED that third Hunger Games book. You are scheduled to attend Coco's pink Barbie Birthday party tomorrow evening. I'm expecting, you will present me with my requested book, within moments of walking into the party.
If you have not finished the book: Not my problem. Tell your parents to drive their fancy Travette to Target to buy a copy. I'm no longer pretending to encourage children to read... at my expense.
If you do not obey your aunt,
the following punishments will occur:
I will make you dress in pink tutus and hold hands with your sister, as you both sing a song entitled "We are the 2 best Friends that anyone can have..."
Or.... I will make you play Barbies with Coco, for 4 straight hours. And just ask Sweetbreads... it's not such a good time.
Thank-you for your time:
Your most mature Aunt
5 comments:
Dear Mona, If we are putting this out in the open, I will mention that I had to wait to read Book 1 until you or TS finished it. The Kid had two Book 1's. I bought one of them. I had to WAIT!! I can patiently wait for Book 2.
20 Shades of Orange might be one of my most shameful moments as a reader, particularly because I read all three within a week. By the end of the series I had decided that if I had to read one more "Oh, Mr. Grey" or "Laters, baby" I might just stab someone. Those two were gross on so many levels.
~The Mrs.
Let me get this right Mrs., it took you three books to figure out they were gross?
When all is said and done will there be any women left in America that have not read 20 Shades of Orange?
The first two hunger games books were like crack to me. I'm patiently waiting to go see the movie which will end in me having to wait to see it until it comes out on video. I can't wait to read the third (although I've heard it's disappointing), just haven't had time to go pick it up.
I didn't think it was disappointing, but I do think she could've kept writing...or maybe that's just because I was hungry for more when I was done with it! IDK how you have gone this long waiting for it, I would've caved and bought another copy by this point. My children and workouts were deprived of attention when I got into those books.
Still haven't seen the movie, and will probably wait till it's out on video at this point... I am on the 1st 50 Shades, it's definitely interesting...to say the least. Laters Baby and 'sir' are really bleeping annoying already though!
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