I found myself, alone. (rarely happens) And spent my evening watching The Bridges of Madison County.
I read this book many years ago and it ripped my heart out. I cried and cried. While it still flipped my gut, as she gripped the door handle (Seriously! Get out of the car!) ... I felt less romantic towards the movie, as it relates to my life.
This Boring ol' housewife, in a small Mid-western town, should relate to Francesca. Instead, I pictured myself in her shoes, realizing several reasons....
I Probably will NOT have a Passionate Love Affair:
1. Let's just pretend, Coach ever left his town for 4 days. It would probably be for a softball tournament and he would NEVER take his 3 children. Let's get crazy and suppose he did... if a rugged Photographer came knocking at my door for directions... I would probably ignore him because I was comfy in bed, watching Reality TV.
2. Suppose, I did answer and after an endearing conversation, invited him for dinner. I would never use the energy to cook a meal for a stranger... leaving my only available option to order a pizza and... well, Coach always drives to pick it up! That would be unfortunate telling the Handsome Stranger, I am too lazy to pick up my own fast-food. Or...
The Delivery Boy, would Heart Coach and would be peering around my Nothingness, to catch a glimpse of Coach's SuperFlyAwesomeness.
3. If, Handsome Stranger were to park his Rugged-man truck at my corner-lot home. Coach would receive 47 text messages within an hour, asking if he had traded-in his Little-boy truck.
His town, would not keep my secret.
4. If dinner progressed and Handsome Stranger began detailing his worldly travels with whimsy Poetic Quotes. I would either... Be Unable:
A.) to suppress the 'You are a Poet Dork giggle'
or
B.) to pay attention because I would be wondering when was the last time, I shaved my legs.
5. As the evening turned Romantic, I fear the seduction would be repeatedly interrupted, by my Father-in-Law calling to ask if 'I had heard any updates on Coach's Softball game'.
6. If, by some miracle, we had skipped past all of the above and walked hand-in-hand to my Marital Bed to consummate our affair... I'm sure The Mood, would be lost as Handsome Stranger clumsily tripped over the Gigantic! Pile Of Dirty Clothes! My Pig of a Husband! Leaves Hidden on his Side! Of the Bed!!
7. Last... um, I guess I love my husband. Anyway...
In Conclusion,
If you are a Handsome Stranger, you had better just skip this house. I am apparently too Jaded, Lazy, Boring or I suppose 'in love' Blah, Blah... to embark on Whirl-wind Romance for the Ages.
Or, I am already in the middle of One.
What Ev.
6 comments:
The reason she had the greatest love affair of all times is he was not there to slam the door and leave his dirty clothes on the floor. He stopped by romanced her (he was also Clint Eastwood), read her poetry and went on his way. Had he stayed........romance over. He would have been like want to go take pictures with me, she would said OMG everyday. He would have started to read a poem, she would sigh and say I get it, can't you find new poetry. It is a fairy tale.
I like #7
I think all husbands do #6.
no, Bird, not all do.
I'm the lucky girl who gets the husband that leaves them in the living room, hidden between the wall & ottoman, so that it's not noticed until guests arrive. :\
vomit...Worhol
Made me laugh out loud! One of the biggest reasons J's side of the bed is furthest from the door is to hide his laundry pile. :)
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