Maybe the Best Story, Eva:

Set Scene:
It's Harvest Days Weekend,
Town-wide Carnival Wrist Band Night.
Carnival night?  Not my bag.  Coach has/is and will always be, in charge of carnival night.  I had a yoga class and then walked up to the carnival for maybe 45 minutes.  Chatted with each kid, smiled and waved as they circled around and around on a couple rides... and then I began to walk home.
I called my mom: I detest carnival night!  The crowds, the noise, the giant extension cords on the ground.  There was a man, wearing jeans and combat boots and NO shirt... and he was carrying a baby maybe 2 weeks old, like a football in one arm.  Just walking around like that.  WHY? ....etc

I continue to chat with her about the conundrums of small town American carnivals, until I reach my home.  My doors are all locked (... carnies are in town) and I am trying to find my keys.  I go to unlock the door but I can't see anything, just then I see what I think is a huge spider, making a web on my door.

I say to mom: I can't see anything... stupid having to lock my door... and I think there is a spider in the doorway... I need my flashlite app... but I can't find anything in my purse..

I'm digging around, moving my wallet.. nothing.  I start throwing items from my purse on a chair.  I say the following out loud and also in my head: I can't find my phone any where!  I know I had it at the carnival, I called Coach to find him... it's so dark out here... why do I have to much stuff in my purse!
My mom is helping: Did you leave your phone at the yoga studio?  ... Blah Blah
Me (super frustrated): no, I know I called Coach.  Where the heck is it??

I turn my purse upside down, it's completely empty... What the heck??
Then, after several minutes, I shout out: OH MY ###!!  I can't find my phone because I am TALKING to you on my PHONE!!!

My mom starts dying laughing, like she can't breathe.
I hang up, use the flashlite app.  Identify a HUGE spider making a web...kill it, enter my home...

Later, I recount this story to Coach, exactly like this.  He's listening with intrigue, he even furrows his brow over where my phone could be, seems kinda worried for me... He also, never saw the punchline coming.
I'm getting old. Or maybe, even just 45 minutes at a carnival can make you dumb(er).