I have very vivid dreams.
Recently, I had the most productive dream eva...
Ok, so The Walking Dad was real.
We had already built our safe haven house on The Hill. (It was bigger than expected.) The following people had made it to our home in time: Warhol, Sweetbreads, General, Mrs, (and all their kids) Munchkin, Match Guy, Coach, me and our kids.
We had a giant wrap-around porch and the men were constantly walking the porch picking off zombies. Except Match Guy, who had (whoops) knocked-up Munchkin. Turns out, she is not a pleasant pregnant lady during a zombie Apocalypse. Match Guy had finished off all the peanut butter and she was very dramatically fighting with her Baby Daddy about how how he would find her more peanut butter.
Then suddenly it occured to me, that we had this:
(because why wouldn't we...?)
We would dig a giant moat around The Hill. Wha?? Then the Zombies would just fall into the waterless (wooden stake filled) moat, unable to crawl out, until the men can dispose of them. Leaving us virtually untouchable, with the exception of supply runs... (we had a plywood-type drawbridge).
I would plant a giant garden, Mrs was holding a little school... the kids ran and played. We mentioned we needed a Dr for Munchkin (yada yada, I know technically Munchkin is a Dr... but not like a real one, right GG??)
I recently recounted this dream to The General, in person. He listened intently, nodding appropriately, totally calm as if this dream is the most normal thing ever.. when I had finished, he said one thing: 'Genius'.
Soooo... it looks like we're set then. Official Game Plan established. We just need like $650,000 for the house and giant tractor. If more of you want in:
#1. You gotta be a tru believer.
#2. You gotta get your a$$ there quick.
#3. You've apparently gotta be able to deal with a mean bitter Munchkin (let's face it, she's really the more fun version...)
And don't forget the peanut butter..
9 comments:
I can deal with zombie infestation. I can live with extended family for undefined amounts of time. I can even deal with a bitter, angry Munchkin. I can not, however, deal with an absence of peanut butter. I think we need to call a planning meeting to get our affairs in order.
We would be the most fun survivalists ever.
obviously you would plant a peanut tree & make your own butter.
#dontbemad... #idontbelieve
but i would totally read your blogs.
This is the best blog ever
and fact, i'm absolutely more entertaining when bitter. i'm so boring now
Just to be clear, the best blog ever is referring to the fact that I made it to the house and the moat... not the other part...
It really is genius.
I feel like once the zombies are stuck in the dry moat, we should figure out a way to burn them so we don't waste bullets. We'll need the ammunition for supply runs and other threatening nondead confrontations.
This needs to be sent in to the show "Preppers." Maybe we could get a slot on the show and the would give us the money to build the house.
Coach, start hoarding matches every time you go to Casey's. East or West.
Why hadn't we thought of matches??!!
Obviously, it is clear now... we need to start having planning meetings. At least once a month. Pick the bar.
Mrs.- You are in charge of keeping notes.
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