Gettin Diiirrrrtaaay.

Obviously, if two adults have the opportunity to spend 5 days without their 3 children the first thing they plan to do, is get a little dirty.

Duh... I'm talking about the Warrior Dash! Creep.

I have spent all year, calm and completely unimpressed about running (slow jogging) the Warrior Dash. I have literally 'trained' only a small fraction of the time I did last year. My 'running' has consisted only of the time spent in the 4 Warrior Yoga classes.  I am absolutely unprepared.

Yet, I was totally relaxed and blah about the event.

No big deal.

It didn't kill me last time.  Who cares.  What ev.

Then, The Mrs mentioned a few new obstacles.

A giant muddy water slide down a hill.

Climbing a wall, while thick ice cold hoses shoot down from above.  Etc.

I repeatedly told anyone, the race last year wasn't sooo bad.  Except for the hoses at the end.  I HATED the hoses.  I declared I would bring MANY empty milk jugs filled with water, to gently wash the mud off.

Now... hoses are actual obstacles??

Will water physically hurt me?? Of course not.

But ladies with naturally curly hair and contacts prescripted for the practically blind... DO NOT. Under ANY circumstances: Play around in race riot-like hoses WHILE scaling dangerous slippery obstacles or slide down giant muddy water slides. 

And if that curly haired girl were, for some crazy reason, to perform in these water related obstacles... she would then certainly not add temperatures of 95 degrees into the equation.

Bottom Line: This aint gonna be pretty.

The fastest anyone is gonna see me move tomorrow, will be towards our vehicle after the race, when everyone pulls out their digital cameras.

PS- One year of planning and we only acquired seven empty milk jugs.

PSS- My Battle Cry: "Nobodys gotta be a hero." If you find this Battle Cry suits you... join General and I.  We'll be the couple holding hands, far in the back, barely speed walking and spewing sarcastic jabs at the 'real athletes' leaving us in their wake.